Location: Bruce Family Living Room – Time: 6:32 p.m.
The living room looked like a war room disguised as a kindergarten art studio. Blueprints of Willow Creek's auditorium were taped to the walls. Sticky notes labeled "TRAPDOOR," "GLITTER BOMB," and "EMERGENCY TUBA" covered the coffee table.
Ryan paced with a plastic baton. "Alright team. Tomorrow's talent show is Bella's next move. She's planning something big, cheesy, and possibly choreographed."
Emily adjusted her fake stage mom wig. "So we're going undercover as proud parents?"
Ryan nodded. "Proud, loud, and heavily armed."
Holly raised an eyebrow. "Can I use a flamethrower in my magic act?"
Faith gasped. "Can I ride a rocket-powered unicorn?"
Ryan held up both hands. "Let's keep the fire and livestock low-key. We're here to protect the school, not start a pasta-based civil war."
Location: Willow Creek Elementary – Talent Show Day – Time: 3:47 p.m.
The gym buzzed with chaos. Folding chairs creaked, children glittered, and one kid was trying to shove an entire kazoo into his ear.
Bella Castini, disguised as "Madame Belladonna the Talent Coordinator," stood by the sign-up booth, clipboard in hand and evil in her eyeliner.
She whispered to Enzo, dressed as a janitor with a violin case. "At exactly 4:17, during the juggling act, we strike. Smoke bombs in the spotlights. Anchovy drones from the ceiling. And beneath the stage—boom cannoli."
Enzo looked worried. "Won't the PTA notice?"
Bella smirked. "Please. They're too busy arguing over gluten-free cupcakes."
Location: Backstage – Time: 4:05 p.m.
Ryan peeked through the curtains, wearing sunglasses and a glitter jacket. "Talent Dad" was stitched across his back.
Emily adjusted her fake microphone earpiece. "Security check: Bubble-wrap stage trap?"
"Armed."
"Backup drones hidden in the xylophone?"
"Buzzing."
Holly walked past in a magician outfit with a suspiciously twitching hat. "Don't worry. If anyone gets near my rabbit, they'll meet the smoke grenade I trained him to sit on."
Faith followed in a tutu and goggles, whispering, "My dance routine includes laser pointers."
Ryan blinked. "How did we raise such terrifying children?"
Emily smiled. "The same way we fell in love—undercover chaos, carbs, and a kiss that short-circuited two security cameras."
Location: Onstage – Time: 4:17 p.m.
A juggling clown dropped his third pineapple. The lights dimmed.
Suddenly—SPPPPFFFFF!
Fog spewed from the ceiling vents. Kids screamed. Someone yelled, "MY MARACAS ARE MELTING!"
From above, four anchovy-delivery drones descended, firing sticky spaghetti nets across the gym.
Bella's voice boomed through the speakers:
"WELCOME TO THE FINAL ACT—STARRING…THE CASTINI CLAN!"
She pulled off her disguise. The crowd gasped.
Ryan leapt onto the stage with a spotlight in one hand and a dodgeball in the other. "Starring you? Sorry, we're full. No more auditions for evil tonight!"
Emily rolled across the stage, slamming a cupcake cart into Enzo. "This one's for the Mystery Meat Incident!"
Tony the Tortellini transformed midair, firing pasta missiles that wrapped Bella's arms in uncooked linguini.
Holly shouted, "ACTIVATE FINAL TRICK!"
Her magician's hat exploded in glitter as a smoke-bomb rabbit flew through the air—right into Bella's face.
"MY EYELASHES!" she screamed, stumbling backward into a giant tub of whipped cream meant for the pie-eating finale.
Faith tapped her watch. "Boom cannoli, disarmed."
Tony beeped: TALENT THREAT NEUTRALIZED.
Location: Willow Creek Auditorium – Later
The PTA stood in shock. The principal looked around at the mess—half of the audience was covered in sauce and glitter.
But the crowd broke into applause. A grandma sobbed, "That was better than Hamilton."
Ryan adjusted his tie. "We saved the school. Again."
Emily kissed his cheek. "And the talent show trophy goes to…"
Holly and Faith posed on stage, holding a flaming, slightly melted plastic trophy.
Location: Bella's New Lair – Time: 7:41 p.m.
Bella glared at her TV screen. Her once-perfect eyeliner had melted into angry streaks.
Enzo whispered, "We underestimated the Bruce family."
Bella narrowed her eyes and slowly pulled a file from a secret drawer.
OPERATION: TEACHER'S CONFERENCE CHAOS.
She hissed, "Let's see how they handle parent-teacher night…"
[TO BE CONTINUED…]