Location: Louisiana Museum of Historical Weirdness – Time: 11:06 a.m.
The field trip was going well—suspiciously well.
Ryan Bruce scanned the museum's exhibits, eyes twitching. Wax presidents, taxidermied raccoons dressed as founding fathers, a room labeled "The Evolution of Gumbo". All oddly calm.
Faith was feeding crackers to a robotic pirate parrot.
Holly had convinced a docent to let her "borrow" a Civil War-era cannon fuse.
Emily was trying to read a brochure while being repeatedly photobombed by Tony the Tortellini.
Then… the doors slammed shut.
"Uh-oh," said Holly. "This feels like the lasagna lock-in all over again."
Suddenly, the museum lights flickered. A booming voice echoed through the halls:
"Ciao, famiglia Bruce. Welcome to your final field trip."
From the grand staircase descended a mountain of menace in a velvet suit: Don Alberto Castini—Bella's father. The real mafia boss. Gold rings. Olive oil slick hair. A smile that said, "I've murdered people during brunch."
Behind him? Twelve armed goons in suits and sunglasses, all loading automatic weapons and wearing matching pasta-patterned socks.
Ryan's jaw clenched. "Field trip's over."
Location: Exhibit Hall of Historical Dishes – Time: 11:09 a.m.
Bullets shattered glass displays. Tourists screamed and scattered. One ran off clutching a butter churn.
Emily dove behind a ceramic hot sauce volcano, whispering, "Reminder: we are surrounded by very flammable food props."
Ryan ducked beside her, already assembling a taser from a broken audio guide and two AA batteries. "Keep the girls hidden. I'll draw fire."
Emily grabbed a frying pan and saluted. "Go be a hero. I'll be your weird comic relief."
Action Sequence:
Ryan somersaulted over a shrimp etouffée diorama and disarmed a goon mid-dive.
Emily accidentally knocked herself out with a ricochet frying pan, then woke up and slapped the same goon unconscious while yelling, "No touching the gift shop display, buddy!"
Holly rigged a wax Andrew Jackson to collapse on a thug.
Faith rode a rolling cannon across the floor, cackling, "VIVA LA RECESS!"
Don Castini stepped forward, raising his golden pistol. "You fight well, Bruce. But you forgot one thing."
Ryan narrowed his eyes. "What's that?"
Don Castini pointed upward. "This museum has a second floor full of snipers."
Laser dots flickered on Ryan's chest.
Tony the Tortellini shot out of Faith's backpack and launched smoke pellets made of parmesan powder.
Chaos erupted again.
Ryan ducked, rolled, and smashed through a display of 19th-century Italian battle flags, using one as a cape as he tackled a goon.
Emily spun in, swinging a mop labeled "Historic Bayou Cleaning Tech." She smacked another thug into a cotton candy cannon.
Location: Secret Storage Room – Time: 11:19 a.m.
Ryan barricaded the door, panting. Emily leaned on a gumball machine, eyes wide.
The girls sat quietly for once, watching their parents.
Ryan touched Emily's cheek. "You okay?"
She grinned, eyes wild. "I may have bludgeoned a guy with a taxidermy possum. You?"
"I made a tripwire out of Mardi Gras beads. And I think I cracked Don Castini's rib with a baguette."
Tony beeped: "MORE HOSTILES INCOMING. RECOMMEND: OPERATION DAD FURY."
Final Battle: Exhibit Hall – Time: 11:27 a.m.
Don Castini returned, bruised and bleeding, his goons in disarray.
"You fight like a dog, Bruce," he snarled.
Ryan smirked. "That's Agent Veltrix to you, Don Ravioli."
BRAWL.
Ryan disarmed Castini with a display sword and threw a mannequin at him.
Emily crashed a historical streetcar into two more goons, yelling, "Public transit justice!"
Holly lit fireworks she "borrowed" from the Revolutionary War section.
Faith danced past laser beams with glitter grenades strapped to her tutu.
Tony hacked the museum animatronics. A robotic Caesar screamed "ET TU, PESTO?" and punched a thug into the jam exhibit.
Don Castini lunged—only for Ryan to dropkick him into a vat of cold gumbo marked "Do Not Enter."
Silence.
Then applause… from confused chaperones and one grandma eating jerky.
Location: Museum Exit – Time: 11:39 a.m.
Police arrived. EMTs loaded up unconscious goons. Don Castini was handcuffed to a history plaque.
Ryan walked out with his family. Emily wore a necklace made from confiscated bullets.
Faith held a cotton candy sword. Holly had the museum map folded into a ninja star.
Ryan muttered, "We really need a vacation."
Emily grinned. "I hear the science museum has fewer explosions."
Tony beeped, "UNLIKELY."
[TO BE CONTINUED…]