Location: Bruce Family Kitchen – Time: 6:53 a.m. (Next Day)
Ryan sipped coffee while Emily flipped banana pancakes with one hand and loaded tranquilizer darts into a lipstick case with the other.
"Morning, love," she said sweetly. "Do you want syrup or sedatives on your pancakes?"
Ryan leaned in for a kiss. "Both. It's parent-teacher night."
Faith marched in wearing a miniature tactical vest over her pajamas. "My dance teacher said I 'lack focus.' So I left glitter mines under her desk."
Holly followed, holding a crumpled flyer. "'Please bring snacks and a positive attitude,'" she read aloud. "Should we bring garlic bread… or bear traps?"
Ryan took the flyer, frowning. "Bella's latest move. She knows parent-teacher night is the perfect time—maximum foot traffic, minimal adult supervision, unlimited juice boxes. We're walking into a trap."
Emily sighed. "Why does every school event end with pasta explosions or glitter trauma?"
Ryan grinned. "Because we raised legends."
Location: Willow Creek Elementary – Time: 5:42 p.m.
Parents shuffled into the multipurpose room. Tables were lined with stale cookies, lukewarm lemonade, and one suspicious lasagna pan steaming ominously.
Principal Weatherby greeted everyone in a sweater vest and fear in his eyes. "Let's keep tonight productive, civil, and ideally fire-free."
Meanwhile, Bella Castini—disguised as "Miss Donna Ravioli, part-time enrichment instructor"—smiled sweetly at a group of unsuspecting moms.
She tapped her earpiece. "Phase One: Pep Talk Panic. Release the motivational speaker bots."
In the hallway, three overly enthusiastic robots burst through the doors chanting, "YOU CAN DO IT!" and firing confetti at dangerously high pressure.
Ryan, wearing khakis and glasses to blend in, tackled one mid-cheer. "Okay. These bots are not Common Core approved."
Emily dodged a motivational missile. "Bella's weaponizing inspiration. Diabolical."
Location: Classroom 2B – Time: 6:12 p.m.
Faith's teacher nervously showed Ryan a drawing titled "My Family is a Secret Weapon." It featured Tony the Tortellini dropkicking a meatball into space.
Ryan laughed. "That's just metaphorical. She's… creative."
Emily snuck a glance at the ceiling tiles. "Two thermal signatures above us. Bella's goons."
Ryan whispered, "Time for Operation: P.T.A. Panic Button."
Location: Hallway – Time: 6:17 p.m.
Holly cartwheeled past a janitor—Enzo in disguise again—then calmly pickpocketed his ID badge with a magician's flourish.
Tony beeped inside her backpack: "INTRUDER FLAGGED: BAD HAIR AND BAD INTENTIONS."
Faith chased behind, leaving behind a trail of anti-slip glitter.
Bella's voice rang out over the intercom. "Good evening, parents. I hope you brought extra notebooks… because you're about to be schooled."
The floor beneath the PTA table split open—revealing a giant rig of marinara hoses and a rotating platform labeled "Parental Doom."
Location: Multipurpose Room – Time: 6:21 p.m.
A spaghetti geyser launched the PTA snack table into the air.
Ryan grabbed a folding chair and somersaulted into battle. "Leave the educators out of this, Belladonna!"
Emily dual-wielded dry-erase markers like nunchucks, blocking a rogue breadstick dart. "You messed with the wrong room of passive-aggressive moms!"
Bella swung down on a rope made of twisted lunch trays. "This school is mine now!"
Holly activated her emergency glitter cannon—disguised as a clarinet case—and blasted Bella midair.
Faith leapt from the stage with ballet-fueled fury. "FOR RECESS JUSTICE!"
Bella shrieked as Tony launched from a cubby, pinning her to the PTA suggestion box with linguini handcuffs.
Tony beeped: "SCHOOL EVENT: SECURED. SPAGHETTI RISK: MINIMAL."
Location: School Parking Lot – Time: 7:14 p.m.
Parents slowly filed out, confused and mildly sauced in marinara.
One mom muttered, "I thought the yoga session last year was weird…"
Ryan dusted spaghetti off his shoulders. "Another day, another lasagna-based villain plot stopped."
Emily leaned into him, laughing. "One day we'll attend a normal event."
Ryan kissed her forehead. "Where's the fun in that?"
Location: Unknown Warehouse – Time: 7:52 p.m.
Bella sat with cold noodles in her hair and sauce in her shoes.
Enzo handed her a tablet. "They ruined another operation."
Bella smiled darkly. "Then it's time for something bigger… something they can't joke their way through…"
She tapped a file labeled:
OPERATION: SCHOOL FIELD TRIP FRENZY
[TO BE CONTINUED…]