Location: Willow Creek Elementary – Front Lawn – Time: 10:47 a.m.
Ryan Bruce crouched behind a line of second-grade art projects: papier-mâché kangaroos and macaroni boomerangs. His tie was tucked into a bulletproof lunch tray, and he spoke into a grape juice box wired with a mic.
"Target entering the east hallway. Suspicious loafers, heavy perfume, and what might be a meat cleaver in her handbag."
Emily's voice crackled in his ear. "Ryan, that's the school librarian."
He blinked. "Then she's carrying some very intense overdue notices."
Meanwhile, Holly and Faith walked into the building with their backpacks looking innocent... but inside those bags?
Holly: Glitter bomb disguised as a pencil case.
Faith: Bubble gun loaded with truth serum.
Tony the Tortellini: Fully weaponized, posing as a Hello Kitty lunchbox.
Location: 3rd Grade Classroom – Time: 11:00 a.m.
"Good morning, class!" chirped the substitute. She wore a polka-dot apron, fake eyelashes like butterfly wings, and a grin that screamed criminal baked goods. Her name tag read Ms. Bellina—but her real name was Gina "Garlic Bomb" Castini, cousin of Bella.
"Today," she said, "we bake cupcakes!"
The kids cheered.
Holly narrowed her eyes. "Cupcakes. On math test day? That's a trap."
Tony the Tortellini beeped once. "Frosting threat level: HIGH."
Location: Cafeteria – Time: 11:08 a.m.
Emily moved through the lunch line dressed as a "Mystery Meat Inspector," complete with a fake mustache and clipboard. She inspected the mashed potatoes with surgical focus, then casually flipped one scoop to reveal… a USB drive.
She read it:
"Two mafia agents confirmed. One in Room 3B. One posing as cafeteria DJ. WARNING: Cannoli tubes may detonate with dance music."
Emily muttered, "Oh no. Not another Disco Cannoli Incident."
Location: DJ Booth – Cafeteria – Time: 11:13 a.m.
Ryan—now disguised as DJ "Daddy Fresh"—spun a vinyl record made of actual cheese.
"Alright kids, get ready to dance your carbs off!"
The undercover mafia DJ—an old man with gold rings and a suspiciously twitchy eye—cranked the volume.
Suddenly, the cannoli trays on the dessert table began to twitch. A red light blinked under each one.
Emily screamed, "EVERYONE DROP—THE TIRAMISU'S ABOUT TO DETONATE!"
BOOM!
Frosting fireballs rocketed across the room like pastry missiles. Sprinkles shredded ceiling tiles. Cannoli cream shot into the air like fireworks.
One kid stood, drenched in whipped ricotta. "Best. Lunch. Ever."
Location: 3rd Grade Classroom – Time: 11:20 a.m.
Back in Room 3B, Ms. Bellina's cupcake oven beeped.
But instead of cupcakes, the tray held… little pasta bombs shaped like smiling emojis.
Tony beeped rapidly. "Carb carnage confirmed. Initiating Operation Ravioli Smackdown."
"Everyone behind the reading beanbags!" Holly yelled.
She activated her watch. Mini drones flew out of her backpack and shot lasagna netting at Ms. Bellina, tangling her in spicy sheets.
Ms. Bellina screamed, slipping on parmesan and crashing into a whiteboard.
Ryan crashed through the window on a rolling whiteboard, yelling, "Nobody touches my daughter's cupcakes but me!"
Emily followed with a cafeteria tray-shield, slamming it into Ms. Bellina's backup goon, who had been hiding in the closet dressed as a coat rack.
Location: Principal's Office – Time: 11:41 a.m.
Ryan sipped from a juice box, now calm. "So… technically no one died, and the kids learned fractions."
The principal blinked. "You destroyed the library."
Emily shrugged. "Better than letting the mafia turn it into a black-market biscotti factory."
Tony wheeled in. "Mission accomplished. Ravioli secure. Substitutes neutralized. But…"
He beeped ominously.
"…Bella's not done."
Location: Bella's Mobile Lair – Time: 12:03 p.m.
Bella stared at a livestream of the chaos.
"My cousin got taken down by a child and a tortellini drone."
Enzo handed her a cannoli with a tiny dynamite fuse. "Plan B?"
Bella smirked. "No. It's time for Plan T…"
She pulled down a file:
OPERATION: Talent Show Takedown
[TO BE CONTINUED...]