When you think the worst has happened... you discover the worst hasn't even begun yet. Sometimes, keeping your head alive is not a blessing. It's a curse that infects everyone around you.
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The fiery beast lunged at the team, and the battle erupted in moments. Screams, fire, swords, and chaos.
But in the midst of this chaos, Alan stood before the beast, whispering to himself:
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"Maybe... if I pretend to be dead already, he'll just ignore me..."
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It wasn't a moment before the beast suddenly turned toward him and struck him with its fiery claws in a single blow...
BOOOOM!!
Alan's limbs scattered through the air!
An arm to the east, a leg to the west, his torso burned, and all that remained was his head, which rolled and stopped at Rodrick's feet.
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"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I'M DEAD!!! I'M SO DEAD!!! OH MY GOD!! WHY CAN I STILL SEE?! WHY CAN I STILL THINK?!"
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"Kill me again!! Do it properly this time!!"
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"Oh gods… it's just his head. And it talks." (Miri said as she aimed her weapon at him)
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"Don't shoot him. He might still be useful. Somehow." (Kira said with a heavy sigh)
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"Guys! GUYS! I'm a mascot now! You can throw me like a grenade! Or use me to distract the monster!"
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"No. Absolutely not." (Rodrick said, kicking the head away with his foot)
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"Wait! I can cheer you on! I'm motivational now!"
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Then he began shouting from the ground in a dramatic and annoying voice:
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"GO KIRA! SHOW THEM YOUR STABBY THING!"
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"RODERICK, YOU'RE A WALL OF MUSCLE! DESTROY THEM!"
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"MERRY, AIM FOR THE EYES! YOU GOT THIS, GIRL!"
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"DEMOOOOS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, BUT IT LOOKS COOL!"
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"This... is the worst battle I've ever been in." (Kira said as she stabbed a monster, with the head rolling beside her, still shouting)
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But strangely...
The team began getting more and more excited with every cheer from the head. Even the monster itself seemed tense from all the shouting.
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"I think the monster's annoyed. That head might be our secret weapon." (Rodrick said with a sarcastic smile)
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"Guys, I feel like this is my true calling!"
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"To be a talking, flying, regenerating... cheerleader HEAD!"
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The team continued fighting, while Alan was tossed from one fighter to the next like a burnt football, and the more he was thrown, the more his screams grew in excitement, terror, or both at once.
Some people are born from a womb, others from ash... But Alan? He was reborn in the middle of a battle, screaming naked in front of everyone.
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Amidst the cheers, blood, and madness, as Alan's head was tossed from hand to hand like a cursed baseball...
Something unexpected happened.
A green light began to glow from the head, and the temperature in the air suddenly rose.
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"Uh… why is the head glowing?!"
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"IS THIS… MY TIME TO ASCEND?!"
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In a flash, a neck sprouted, then a chest, followed by arms and legs... skin formed rapidly, bones were rebuilt, and tissues grew violently.
And after just ten seconds, Alan stood in the middle of the battle... completely naked.
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"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I'M BACK!! I'M ALIIIIIIIVE!!"
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Then he looked down... and saw the disaster.
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"OH NO! I'M NAKED!! I'M COMPLETELY NAKED!!"
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"COVER YOUR EYES!! EVERYONE, LOOK AWAY!"
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"You're the one running around like a madman!! PUT SOMETHING ON!"
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"THERE'S NOTHING TO PUT ON!! I'M A REGENERATED BABY MAN!!"
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"He's gonna distract the monster... but not in the way we hoped."
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The monster itself stopped attacking.
It stared at Alan's naked body, then let out a strange sound that resembled a sigh... before sitting down.
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"Did… the monster give up?"
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"Honestly… same."
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Alan ran in every direction, trying to find something to cover himself: a tree leaf, a broken helmet, a burned shield... but he failed at every attempt.
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"I NEED A TOWEL!! OR A BLANKET!! OR A… SACK OF POTATOES!! ANYTHING!!"
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"Next time we go on a mission, we're bringing spare pants. For him."
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"Guys... this is my rebirth arc..."
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"AND IT'S THE WORST THING EVER!!"
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To be continued...