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***
The moment David finished his plea, the shopkeeper's eyes narrowed suspiciously. He looked David up and down like he'd just found a Magikarp flopping around in the desert.
The shopkeeper rubbed his chin and squinted. Is this kid out of money? he wondered, glancing at Pikachu running away still proudly wearing that ridiculously expensive hat. \
You don't know that Pikachu? Standing right there on your shoulder? You're telling me you don't know me? Am I an absolute idiot in your eyes?!
A series of familiar system prompts echoed in David's mind:[Get +20 negative emotion value][Get +20 negative emotion value]
David didn't even have time to process the notifications because the shopkeeper suddenly straightened up, gave him one last suspicious glare, and whipped out his phone.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" David yelped, watching in horror as the shopkeeper's thumb punched in the numbers 1-1-0 with the kind of determination usually reserved for emergency situations.
"Uncle! I have money! I really do!" David blurted out, practically tripping over his own words. "It's just... I was wondering if you could, y'know… maybe make it a bit cheaper?"
The shopkeeper paused mid-dial, his finger hovering over the call button. He stared hard at David, eyes narrowed like he was trying to solve the world's hardest Sudoku puzzle. Finally, with a reluctant grunt, he lowered the phone and slipped it back into his pocket.
David breathed a sigh of relief that was at least three seconds too long. The shopkeeper scratched his head, clearly still skeptical. "Alright," the shopkeeper said slowly, his eyes not leaving David's face. "I can knock off a bit. How about I just wipe off a zero for you?"
"Yes, please!" David practically shouted, his eyes lighting up like Christmas had come early.
The shopkeeper grunted in agreement. "By the way, that 15% discount for the new store opening… is that still valid?" David asked, his voice filled with hope.
The shopkeeper puffed out his chest and smacked his hand against it proudly. "Of course it's still valid! Not only that, but every promotion in our store is still valid!"
The words had barely left his mouth before David whipped out his phone and began counting the discounts out loud. "Alright, so… 15% off for the new store opening… 50% off if you share it on PokéMoments… another 50% off if it gets more than a hundred likes…"
The shopkeeper's smile began to waver.
David, completely oblivious, kept going. "50% off for student ID… 50% off for Pokémon students… 20% off for store membership…"
With every word David read, the shopkeeper's face grew darker and darker, like someone had pulled the blinds down on a sunny day. His fingers twitched slightly, as if mentally erasing Pokécoins from his wallet.
[Get +10 negative emotion value from Shop Owner][Get +20 negative emotion value][Get +30 negative emotion value]
David glanced up from his phone and noticed the shopkeeper's expression, which now looked like he'd just bitten into an unripe Persim Berry. "Uncle… you okay?" David asked innocently.
The shopkeeper's eye twitched. He forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Y-yeah… just… keep going."
David grinned. "Awesome! So, with all the discounts combined, I'm thinking… maybe it's free?"
The shopkeeper's hand started inching back toward his phone, fingers twitching dangerously close to those three familiar numbers.
***
David ignored the relentless pinging of system prompts in his head, completely tuning out the cascading flood of [+20 negative emotion points] notifications. He also ignored the shopkeeper's face, which was now so dark it looked like a storm cloud had settled right behind the counter. David's eyes were locked on his phone, and he was still scrolling through every single discount listed with the kind of determination usually reserved for legendary Pokémon hunts.
Trying to rip off David? Good luck. His skin was thicker than a Snorlax's hide during hibernation. He'd practically been raised on finding loopholes and squeezing every last Pokécoin out of a deal. He finished tapping furiously on his calculator app and then confidently slid his phone across the counter to the shopkeeper.
"There you go, Uncle! All calculated and fair," David declared, arms crossed with a smug grin.
The shopkeeper squinted at the screen, and his face went through several stages of grief. What was once a whopping 250,000 Alliance coins had, through David's whirlwind of discounts, been shaved down to a measly 10,834 Alliance coins. The shopkeeper's eye twitched. He blinked twice, rubbed his eyes, and then looked again. Nope, still said 10,834.
David, not one to let an opportunity slip by, leaned in with a grin. "Oh! And didn't you say you'd 'wipe a zero for me?'"
Before the shopkeeper could even respond, David tapped away on his phone. With a flourish, he erased a zero—from the middle of the number. The total now read 1,834 Alliance coins.
The shopkeeper's jaw dropped. His mouth opened and closed like a Magikarp gasping for air. He stared at David like he'd just witnessed him use Hyper Beam indoors.
"W-who the hell wipes a zero from the middle?!" the shopkeeper finally managed to stammer. "Is this… are you bargaining or staging a full-on robbery?!"
David just shrugged innocently. "Hey, you said it! I'm just following directions. Gotta stay true to your word, right?"
The shopkeeper's face was so red now, it looked like he might evolve into something dangerous. But David, clearly unfazed, continued to rummage through his backpack. "Ah, right, almost forgot."
He reached deep into his bag and pulled out a towering stack of vouchers. They spilled onto the counter with a thud—a ten-centimeter-high tower of wrinkled paper, all in various colors and sizes. The smallest denomination was five Alliance coins; the largest was one hundred.
The shopkeeper's eyes bulged out of his head. "W-what the—"
David pulled up a stool, plopped down comfortably, and cracked his knuckles. "Alright, let's get this show on the road. We got five Alliance coins here…one for a hundred…two more for a hundred…"
The shopkeeper just stared, horror-stricken, as David continued to count at a speed that could only be described as 'painfully slow.'
"One for fifty…ooh, here's a rare twenty! Haven't seen one of these in a while…"
The notifications in David's mind kept coming in rapid-fire:[Get +50 negative emotion value from Shop Owner.][Get +50 negative emotion value from Shop Owner.][Get +50 negative emotion value from Shop Owner.]
At this point, the shopkeeper looked like he might faint. David, meanwhile, hadn't even reached the middle of his stack of vouchers. He hummed a cheerful little tune as he counted, oblivious to the sheer chaos he was causing.
"Uncle, you look a bit pale," David noted, without stopping his voucher tally. "Want me to slow down? I know math can be rough."
The shopkeeper opened his mouth, closed it, and then just stared blankly into space. David just kept on counting. The mountain of vouchers wasn't getting any smaller, and neither was his grin.
***
David watched the shopkeeper's eyes slowly widen in horror as he stared at the towering stack of vouchers piled up on the counter like a Poké Mart clearance sale gone wrong. The man's eye twitched, his lips parted, and finally, he blurted out, "Wait a second… I know you!" He jabbed a shaky finger in David's direction. "Aren't you that student who came here looking for part-time work? The one I gave three days' worth of coupons to hand out?"
David blinked, his expression the very picture of innocence. "Me? Work here? Uncle, you must be mistaken. I don't even like manual labor," he said, waving his hand dismissively.
The shopkeeper smacked his forehead, disbelief written all over his face. "That's why nobody showed up with those coupons! You hoarded them all for yourself!"
"Hey, hey! Watch your words! I could sue you for defamation, y'know!" David shot back, completely unfazed. Without missing a beat, he resumed counting his stack of vouchers, one by one, out loud and painfully slow.
The shopkeeper's mouth hung open as David cheerfully read off his loot. "Five coins… another five… oh, look, a ten! Lucky day!"
After what felt like an eternity, the shopkeeper threw his hands up. "Stop counting! If you keep this up, I'll have to pay you for doing inventory!"
David paused, looked up thoughtfully, and then nodded with absolute confidence. "That sounds about right. You should pay me for the trouble, Uncle. It's hard work, y'know? Counting all these." He blinked his big eyes twice, like a confused Togepi.
The shopkeeper looked like he was about to cry. He ran a hand down his face, his fingers gripping his cheeks like he was physically holding in a scream. "Where… did you even get all these?! This is impossible!"
David shrugged, casually flicking through another handful of vouchers. "I mean, you gave them to me, right? Three days' worth of handing them out. You didn't say I couldn't keep them."
The shopkeeper's face paled. He looked at David like he was staring at a Gengar that had just promised to haunt him forever. "Normal people just hand out a few and move on! How did you… why did you…"
David shot him a grin. "You said hand them out. You didn't say how many I had to give to other people."
The shopkeeper staggered back, leaning against the counter for support. His eyes locked onto David like he'd just met the world's most cheerful con artist. He muttered under his breath, "This… this is worse than robbery. At least robbers don't use your own promotions against you."
David flashed him a thumbs-up. "Hey, I'm just good at finding deals!"
The shopkeeper's eyes practically glazed over with despair, and he shuffled to the back to process the payment, grumbling the whole way. He looked back one last time, his gaze practically dripping with resentment. He looked like a man who had just been swindled by a smiling Eevee.
Finally, the transaction was done. David walked out of the Breeder House with bags full of supplies, having paid just 17,000 Alliance coins for what should have cost 250,000. In exchange, he left behind every last voucher, stacked neatly on the counter like a pyramid of suffering. The shopkeeper watched him go, fists clenched, teeth grinding. His eyes practically shot lasers as he muttered, "I swear… if he comes back, I'm closing the shop."
At the entrance of the Breeder House, Pikachu sat patiently, still proudly wearing its new hat. When it spotted David, it perked up immediately. Its eyes sparkled, and it struck its best cute.jpg pose, wiggling its ears and blinking up at him.
David rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile. "You're lucky you're cute, you little wallet assassin."
Pikachu tilted its head and then leapt straight onto David's shoulder, nuzzling his cheek affectionately. It rubbed its face against him like it hadn't just cost him a small fortune. David chuckled, scratching Pikachu behind the ears. "Guess I can't stay mad at you," he sighed, digging into his bag and pulling out a cheese stick. He unwrapped it with dramatic flair. "Alright, alright. You earned it."
Pikachu's eyes widened with joy, its tiny paws clapping together excitedly. It snatched the cheese stick out of his hand and munched away, its tail wagging with pure satisfaction.
David looked back at the Breeder House, where the shopkeeper was still watching him through the window, his face practically pressed against the glass. David gave him a friendly wave, and the shopkeeper just closed the blinds, probably rethinking his entire life.
David snorted. "Something tells me he's not gonna be running that 'three days' worth of coupons' deal again."
Pikachu chirped happily, still munching away on the cheese stick, completely oblivious to the chaos it had caused. David just sighed and patted its head. "Well, at least one of us is happy."
Behind the blinds, the shopkeeper whispered to himself, "I swear if he comes back, I'm moving to another region."
***
David dug into his pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled cheese stick, holding it up like it was the grand prize of a game show. He wiggled it in front of Pikachu, who was perched on his shoulder. Pikachu's ears perked up instantly, its nose twitching as the cheesy aroma wafted up. Its eyes darted from the cheese stick back to David's face with the kind of wide-eyed innocence that could melt even the iciest heart.
There was an audible gulp from Pikachu as its tiny throat bobbed. It blinked a few times, glancing nervously at David, then back to the cheese stick. It hesitated, then gently pawed at David's shoulder, eyes practically shimmering.
David raised an eyebrow. "What's with that look? It's just a cheese stick."
"Pika… Pika-chuuu…" Pikachu squeaked, hugging David's neck dramatically. Its tiny arms clutched him as if it were about to be sent off to some faraway island, and its big eyes were practically brimming with tears.
David blinked in confusion. "What's your problem? Did I… Oh, come on!" He looked at the cheese stick in his hand and then back at Pikachu's trembling form. "You think I'm poisoning you or something? It's cheese, not some kind of doom snack!"
Pikachu clung tighter, its tiny paws gripping his shirt like it was about to blow away in a storm. "Pika pika!" it squealed, shaking its head rapidly before nodding again.
David couldn't help but laugh. "Wait, wait… let me get this straight. You think I'd poison you… over a hat?" He burst into a fit of laughter, nearly dropping the cheese stick. "All because you picked a hat that cost more than my rent?"
Pikachu peeked up from its dramatic hug, blinking those big watery eyes. "Pika pika… pika chu…" it muttered softly.
David smirked, patting its head. "Oh, I see. You're regretting that 'millennium limited edition' price tag, huh? Thought I'd feed you a cheese stick full of bad vibes?" He dangled the cheese stick just above Pikachu's nose. "Does this look like a weapon to you?"
Pikachu sniffed it tentatively, its ears wiggling. It hesitated for a moment, then looked back up at David. After a long pause, it gave the tiniest, most uncertain nod.
David's eyes went wide. "You little…! So first, you nod, then you shake your head, then you nod again? I'm not running a game show here!" He waved the cheese stick in Pikachu's face. "Look, it's just cheese. The same cheese you've been eating since you climbed onto my shoulder and ruined my ability to buy anything for myself!"
Pikachu blinked up at him, tilting its head. "Pika pika?"
David sighed, dropping the cheese stick right into Pikachu's paws. "Here, just eat it. I'm not that heartless, alright?"
Pikachu hesitated, then sniffed it again before taking the tiniest nibble. When it didn't explode or turn into a Thunderbolt in its mouth, Pikachu's eyes lit up, and it devoured the rest with cheerful squeaks, happily wagging its tail.
David just watched in disbelief. "You really thought I'd poison you over a hat. Wow, that's… that's the most Pikachu thing I've ever heard." He chuckled and scratched Pikachu behind its ear, earning a delighted squeal. "I swear, you've got trust issues."
Pikachu looked up, blinking its big eyes, and gave a quick nod.
David groaned. "Oh, now you're confident, huh?"
Pikachu nuzzled his cheek, and David couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, yeah… I guess I wouldn't poison you. But I'm definitely making you work off that hat somehow. Maybe as a mascot for a cheese company."
Pikachu tilted its head, then squealed cheerfully, clearly oblivious to David's sarcasm.
David laughed, shaking his head. "You and your fancy hat… Let's just hope the next shopkeeper we meet doesn't charge me for the air you breathe."
Pikachu squeaked in delight, twirling its hat proudly.
David sighed. "Unbelievable…"