David stared wide-eyed as the investigators pulled out handcuffs and casually snapped them around his wrists like they were just finishing up a routine chore. The metal was cold and a little too tight, and David's brain finally rebooted.
"H-Hey! Investigator Uncle! I'm really not a bad guy!" he shouted, practically tripping over his own words. "Seriously! I'm the one who called you guys! I called you to report the place!"
Nakamura raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "Oh really? That's what they all say, kid," he replied, sounding like he'd heard that line a thousand times before breakfast.
David's eyes went wide with desperation. "Check my phone! Call log, right there! I called you guys!"
Nakamura paused, looking at David with mild curiosity. He reached into David's pocket, fished out the phone, and held it up. "Unlock it," he said, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.
David, still handcuffed, shuffled awkwardly and jabbed his nose against the screen. The phone beeped, unlocking with a swipe of his nostril.
Nakamura blinked. "...Well, that's a new one."
"Adapt and overcome," David muttered, shrugging his shoulders.
Nakamura scrolled through the call history, and sure enough, right at the top: Dialed: 911. His expression softened just a bit, and he motioned for the junior investigators to release David.
The handcuffs came off with a click, and David rubbed his wrists dramatically, like he'd just been released from a ten-year sentence. "Man, I didn't know asking for help got you arrested these days," he grumbled.
Nakamura looked him up and down, still skeptical. "You did call it in... but you looked like you were running from something. I've seen that panicked look before, kid. Usually from people who just robbed a Poké Mart."
David's jaw practically unhinged. "Robbed a—what?! I'm holding a Ralts, not a stack of cash! I didn't even take the free samples from the counter!"
Nakamura crossed his arms, eyeing David's messy hair, wrinkled clothes, and the Ralts clinging to his chest like a lifeline. "Well, you've gotta admit, you did look suspicious. You burst outta nowhere with a rare Pokémon, covered in perfume and glitter... I'm still debating if we need a biohazard suit for that smell."
David threw his hands up in exasperation. "You want me to come out of a villain's hideout smelling like roses? I almost got skewered by an Arbok's Poison Barb! That place was like a nightmare in neon lights!"
Nakamura raised an eyebrow. "Arbok, huh? Inside a salon?"
David nodded frantically. "Yeah, and it wasn't there for a trim! That guy was ready to turn me into a human dartboard. I swear I'm the victim here!"
Nakamura stared at him for a moment, then finally gave a nod. "Fine. You're out of suspicion for now. But I'll be watching you, kid."
David, still rubbing his wrists, managed a smirk. "You know, Uncle, if you were really watching me, you would've seen how awesome my escape was."
Nakamura rolled his eyes. "Keep talking, and I might change my mind."
David quickly zipped his lips, shooting Pikachu a look. Pikachu just shrugged, as if to say, You did kinda look like a criminal.
David sighed, glancing down at Ralts, who still clung tightly to his chest. "Alright, little buddy," he murmured, "let's get out of here before Investigator Uncle decides he needs to practice his handcuff skills again."
Nakamura narrowed his eyes. "I heard that."
David shot him a thumbs-up. "Yeah, I figured you would."
***
David dusted himself off, rubbing his wrists as the cuffs came off, grinning like he'd just survived the world's weirdest job interview. "Well, that was fun," he muttered under his breath. Inspector Nakamura didn't seem amused. His expression was a cocktail of suspicion and confusion, with a dash of I might regret not arresting you.
"So," Nakamura began, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. "Mind explaining what just happened back there? Start from the beginning."
David perked up, like he'd been waiting for someone to ask. "Oh, you want the full story? Alright, buckle up, Investigator Uncle," he said, cracking his knuckles theatrically. "So, there I was, minding my own business, y'know, doing the Lord's work—when I stumble into this shady salon. Now, the young lady inside... I swear, if boldness was a gym badge, she'd be the Champion."
Nakamura blinked. "Boldness?"
David nodded eagerly. "Bold and...uh...unrestrained. I'm talking full-on 'Hey, wanna start a family?' level of boldness. She basically threw it out there like it was a limited-time offer! Said she'd give me money too!"
Nakamura's eyebrow climbed higher. "Money?"
David leaned in, whispering dramatically. "Yeah! I mean, I've heard of buy-one-get-one-free sales, but this was...something else. I'm standing there thinking, is this some kind of weird promotion? Like, 'Congratulations! You've been randomly selected for a free girlfriend and cash prize!' I almost asked if she was gonna throw in a toaster."
Nakamura's face darkened, the muscles in his jaw tightening as David continued his verbal train wreck.
"But I'm not that easy," David declared, puffing out his chest with mock pride. "A good citizen like me—future Champion material, I might add—would never be swayed by such...temptations." He put his hand over his heart for emphasis. "I'm basically a flower of the Alliance. Pure. Untainted. Completely unbribable!"
Nakamura looked like he might burst a blood vessel. "Get to the point," he growled, voice dangerously low.
"Right! So, when her seductive tactics failed—shocking, I know—she immediately tried to use force!" David threw his hands up, looking genuinely appalled. "Can you believe that? When flirting doesn't work, Plan B is apparently 'take my innocence forcefully.' I mean, I was half-expecting her boss to throw out a whole safari next."
Nakamura pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something about needing stronger coffee.
"And then the boss showed up!" David exclaimed, his hands waving dramatically. "Big guy, tattoos, angrier than a Gyarados with a toothache. And he just...he just sends out the Arbok like it's normal salon service. I guess he wanted to join in and make it a threesome, you know?"
Nakamura's expression was somewhere between disbelief and a desperate wish for earplugs. "And then?"
"Then," David leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper, "I knew I had to get out. I mean, humans are one thing, but mixed doubles with a giant snake? Not my kind of Saturday. So I told Ralts, 'Teleport express, my friend!' and poof, we were out of there."
Nakamura stared at him, absolutely dumbfounded. His fists clenched at his sides, clearly fighting the urge to punch David square in the mouth. "You...expect me to believe," he began slowly, "that you were so irresistible this woman wanted to pay you, then the boss attacked you with a venomous snake when you said no to a threesome, and you just happened to escape with a shiny Ralts?"
David blinked, completely straight-faced. "That's pretty much it, yeah. You can double-check the salon if you don't believe me! Might still smell like cheap perfume and poor life choices."
Nakamura's fists were practically shaking. "You...you…" he sputtered, clearly grasping for words as black lines of frustration practically popped out of his forehead.
David tilted his head, as if confused by Nakamura's rage. "You alright, Investigator Uncle? You look like you're about to burst a blood vessel. You know, stress isn't good for your health."
Nakamura's knuckles cracked audibly. If it weren't for the fact that David had, technically, called the police and reported the place, he looked like he might have dragged him off to the station just for existing.
[+100 Negative Emotion Points from Nakamura...][+100 Negative Emotion Points from Nakamura...]
David's grin widened as the notifications popped up in his mind. The way Nakamura's eye twitched was like watching a Slowpoke try to understand calculus. "You want me to repeat the story? I can go slower if you want," David offered helpfully.
Nakamura raised a hand. "If you say one more word, I'm taking you in anyway."
David zipped his lips, literally mimicking a zip gesture. Pikachu, perched on his shoulder, gave a small facepalm. Ralts just blinked up at them, entirely oblivious to the chaos David had just unleashed.
David could practically feel the heat of Nakamura's glare boring into his soul. The man's fists were clenched tight enough to turn coal into diamonds. David, sensing his imminent doom, scratched his head with a sheepish grin. "Uh… I might have added a little artistic flair to the story," he mumbled, attempting to look as innocent as possible. "Y'know, for dramatic effect."
"Artistic flair?" Nakamura repeated, his voice dripping with disbelief. His face somehow grew even darker, like he was actively summoning a thunderstorm with sheer rage.
David chuckled nervously. "Yeah... I mean, you gotta make it interesting, right? A bit of spice? I'm just trying to help you write a better report."
Nakamura's knuckles audibly cracked, but he somehow held it together. Years of Alliance training, no doubt. As much as David's babbling seemed like pure nonsense, Nakamura had picked up on the key details buried within all that verbal garbage. His sharp mind was already putting the pieces together.
Ralts, the shiny Pokémon now cradled in David's arms like it was a particularly rare stuffed animal, had been rescued from that bizarre "Gardevoir Shampoo Salon." David had danced around it, but it wasn't hard to connect the dots. The shop owner wasn't just some sleazy businessman—he was a trainer with enough experience to capture and subdue rare Pokémon like Ralts. That wasn't your average salon owner...more like a poacher with a side hustle.
Nakamura rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Did the shopkeeper have any other Pokémon besides that Arbok?" he asked, voice sharp and direct.
David tapped his chin, squinting as if digging through the clutter of his mind. "Oh! Yeah! There was a Gardevoir on the second floor!" He leaned in, whispering dramatically. "Both Ralts and Gardevoir were wearing these creepy collars. Looked like they were designed to block Psychic abilities. Kinda gave off serious 'Team Rocket basement' vibes, you know what I mean?"
Nakamura's eyes went wide, his expression shifting from skeptical annoyance to dead-serious in a heartbeat. "Collars that suppress Psychic abilities... That's poacher tech," he muttered, mostly to himself. His jaw clenched. "If this is connected to a Pokémon poaching ring…" Without another word, Nakamura turned and sprinted for the stairs like he'd just been told there was free coffee and donuts upstairs.
David watched him go, eyebrows raised. "Well, he sure got his cardio in today," he remarked. Pikachu snickered on his shoulder, giving him a thumbs-up.
David stayed put, his eyes shifting back to the staircase Nakamura had just barreled up like a Rhydon on a sugar rush. His grin faded slightly, replaced by a flicker of concern. He'd gotten Ralts out, sure, but Gardevoir was still trapped up there. And if that alarm had gone off... David's gut twisted. He wasn't exactly known for his conscience, but even he couldn't shake the feeling that leaving Gardevoir behind would be like walking out of a burning building and locking the door behind him.
His arms unconsciously tightened around Ralts, who let out a strangled, "Lalu!" and began slapping his arm with both tiny hands like it was a drum solo.
"Huh?" David snapped back to reality, glancing down at the little Pokémon struggling in his grip. "Oh! Sorry about that, little buddy. Guess I got a bit tense," he said, releasing his grip a little. Ralts shot him a look that practically screamed You think? but didn't hold a grudge. Instead, it reached up and gently touched his forehead, the soft glow of psychic energy passing between them.
David blinked. "Huh... you trying to calm me down or just messing with my head?" he asked with a grin. Ralts giggled and patted his forehead again. Pikachu rolled his eyes and sighed like he was watching two toddlers exchange crayons.
David straightened up, patting Ralts gently on the head. "Alright, alright, I get it. Chill out. We'll wait and see if Investigator Uncle comes back with good news," he said, glancing back at the staircase. The sounds of distant shouting and scuffling drifted down, but David stayed put. "He better not go all hero mode and forget about us," he added, half to himself.
Pikachu crossed his arms with a huff. "Pika pika..." (I wouldn't bet on it...)
David chuckled. "Fair enough," he said, giving Ralts a reassuring smile. "Guess we just have to wait and see if Nakamura knows how to throw a punch."
They stood there, the sirens still wailing outside, and David casually leaning against the wall like this was just another lazy afternoon. He looked down at Ralts, then over at Pikachu. "So, any good jokes?"
Ralts stared blankly. Pikachu just sighed and facepalmed.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," David said, smirking.
And they waited.