[New Jersey – 2025]
I didn't die like a hero.
Didn't save a kid from a truck.
Didn't die defending Earth from aliens.
Didn't even have the dignity of choking on something cool like takoyaki.
Nope.
I was killed by a ramen bowl balanced on a spinning fan while trying to open a bottle of Ramune with my toes.
I'm not proud of that.
My name was Jayden Elijah Cruz, 23 years old, proud member of the No-Girlfriend-4-Life Clan, and self-declared "Doctor of One Piece Lore." With multiple hard earned imaginary doctorates on the subject.
I knew all the Devil Fruit tiers. Had theories about the Void Century. Even had a straw hat face tattoo in the works for when my face became less fat and more face… eventually.
But fate had other plans. Namely:
⚡ Ramen.
⚡ Electricity.
⚡ Explosion.
⚡ Instant Death.
[REINCARNATION SYSTEM LOADED]
"Due to karmic imbalance, neural overstimulation, and an unholy obsession with anime, you have qualified for a Second Chance Transfer Protocol."
Select your world -
Selected World: One Piece
Generating Data….
Data Generated:
Time Period: 1 year after the death of Gol D. Roger
Bonus Trait: Partial Mink Genetics (Feline Variant)
Title Unlocked: Bearer of the Will of D.
Reborn Name: Souza D Jagger
I blinked.
"…Yo. That actually sounds fire."
And then everything went white.
[ZOU – Year 1512, Post Void Century]
I was born under a storm. Literally.
Lightning struck the Whale Tree. The Night Watch howled. The midwife nearly passed out when I opened my eyes — not because I cried, but because I grinned.
My skin was caramel-toned. My face was human, but marked with bold leopard spots across my cheeks and shoulders. My hair? Wild and black, streaked with a jagged slash of red running through the bangs. My eyes were golden — slit pupils that flickered red when I got pissed. I had fangs, retractable claws, and pointed leopard ears that twitched like lie detectors. My tail was long, rosette-covered, and always moving.
I looked like someone who got caught halfway through a Zoan transformation and decided to make it fashion.
Half-mink. Half-not.
A walking contradiction.
And for a place like Zou, steeped in tradition and…Garchu? That made me a weird little kitty waiting to explode.
[Age 7 – Year 1519]
By then I was old enough to hear the way the elders whispered my name with worry.
"The furless monkey with leopard ears."
"He never Garchus."
"D Jagger… That Boy is a walking storms"
I trained harder than any of the other kids. Sparred with grown-ups. I could generate electro by age three. But still — no one got close. I was either too weird, too strong, or just too wrong. Life couldn't be more lonely and boring.
Even the other cubs avoided me like I was a living Log Pose pointed at disaster. this wasn't the life I died to get
[Age 12 – Year 1524]
I sat on the edge of Zunesha, legs dangling over a mile of empty sky.
Clouds drifted below me. I could feel the massive elephant's footsteps reverberate through my bones.
I held out my hand, charged it with a flicker of crackling electro… then let it fizzle.
"I'm just… filler," I whispered. "Not a hero. Not a villain. Just some broken upload in the wrong canon."
Below me? The open sea.
"No Straw Hats. No plot. No Grand Line adventure. Just me and fur and a world that never asked for me."
Then I stood.
Took a deep breath.
Smirked.
"Screw it. If Oda won't write me in… I'll write myself in."
I jumped.
As I plummeted, I saw my second life flash before my eyes.
Not the boring parts — not the awkward bath rituals or the daily stew with no salt.
No.
I saw myself laughing on a pirate ship, fangs bared.
I saw a Devil Fruit in my hand, glowing like blood-orange flame.
I saw marines running. The sky cracking. An army of beasts roaring my name.
I Saw my Dream.
I blacked out smiling.
———
I woke to salt in my mouth and blood on my tongue.
Everything ached. My hoodie was shredded. My tail was bruised. My fur was soaked.
But I was alive.
Twelve years old.
Leopard ears twitching. Claws flexing.
Human heart thumping with joy.
I didn't know where I was. But the sand was warm. The wind was sharp. And something in the air buzzed with potential.
I stood.
My body cracked and groaned like an old ship. But I grinned anyway.
And then I did what any dangerously underaged, emotionally unstable reincarnated anime freak would do:
I sang.
"These bitches love Souza… Oda he don't love me… You can't trust no Navy… Fuck that nigga Imu …"
My voice echoed across the empty beach, totally off-key, but powered by the kind of ego only a man reborn could have.
I shadowboxed the air. Kicked a coconut into orbit. Then collapsed into the sand, laughing like a lunatic.
This was it. This was the life I died for.
Then I turned around.
Steel towers. Drones. Glowing panels.
A place no sane being walks into.
I licked the blood from my teeth, recognizing where I was I smiled wide, and whispered:
"Time to crash canon."
Welcome to Punk Hazard