If you asked me how my life started falling apart, I'd say:
Pizza.
Or more specifically, the thirty-seventh pizza I delivered that week, balanced on one arm, rain pelting down, visor fogged up, and my motorbike slipping over a pothole the size of my future.
There was a flash. Then black.
When I came to, I was halfway through a neon billboard for some virtual dating app, dangling off the side like a broken action figure.
> [BUG DETECTED]
"Would you like to open Debug Panel?"
[YES] / [NO]
I blinked.
"...Huh?"
A window hovered in front of my eyes. Not a hallucination — not unless my brain had decided to give Windows XP a cameo during my near-death experience.
Rain still poured. My ribs still ached. A pigeon watched me from a ledge like I was entertainment.
I tapped [YES].
Because, why not? I already felt like my life was a system error.
Then the world... shifted.
The air vibrated. My HUD — wait, since when did I have a HUD? — flickered into existence. Little icons. Floating numbers. Drop-down menus like I was inside a game no one told me I signed up for.
I looked at a streetlight and this popped up:
> Object: LGT-205 – Streetlight
Status: ON
Editable: TRUE
Suggested Action: DISABLE / CHANGE COLOR / SPAWN FIREWORKS
I hesitated.
"Spawn fireworks."
BOOM.
Three seconds later, the street exploded into red, green, and gold sparkles. The pigeon freaked out and took off like it had seen God. So had the couple making out across the street.
I laughed. I couldn't help it. The kind that comes out of your chest when the universe has finally lost its mind with you in it.
Five Minutes Later…
I disabled traffic lights. Turned a trash bin into a portable speaker. Added gravity-defying "bunny hop" physics to my busted bike.
Then I found a section called:
> EDIT STATUS: USER (Zeke_N)
ATTRIBUTES: STR / SPD / INT / EXISTENTIAL DREAD
MODIFIERS: UNREMARKABLE / OVERLOOKED / UNLUCKY
EDITABLE: TRUE
I hovered over "UNLUCKY" and deleted it.
Just like that. Gone.
A pigeon (probably the same one) crapped two inches from my shoulder and missed.
"Okay," I whispered. "I don't know what's going on, but I love it."
Then the screen flickered.
> WARNING: UNAUTHORIZED DEBUG ACCESS DETECTED
TRACE INITIATED...
PATCHERS DEPLOYED.
The sky darkened. The billboard glitched, distorting into static, showing a single message:
"You Shouldn't Be Here, Zeke."
My stomach twisted. Not from fear. Not yet.
From excitement.
Like I'd finally — finally — woken up from the sleepwalk of my life, and the universe had whispered:
"Wanna play?"