Me and my fellow wolf buddies were running at full speed toward the small rabbits. Well, small is a bit of a stretch — these fluffy freaks were at least two feet tall.
As we charged, some of the rabbits suddenly stopped hopping and turned toward us with a loud Screeeech. We were now just 50 meters away. They stared. We stared. It was awkward.
Then — all at once — chaos erupted.
The rabbits screeched again and charged at us. Yeah, apparently they don't just run — they fight back. Our group of seven wolf cubs split in different directions, clashing with the oversized furballs in a chaotic mess of fur, teeth, and way-too-loud bunny screams.
To be honest, I had no clue how to hunt. I just went with the vibes — run, bite, hope for the best. If I bit hard enough, maybe they'd die. I was just about to sink my teeth into my first unlucky target when I heard a strange rumbling sound from the ground.
I tilted my head just in time to see another rabbit leap out of a hidden burrow—right behind the last cub in our group. The weakest among us. The White Wolf. He was soft, always trailing behind, and there was a high chance today would be his funeral.
But here's the thing… I might be a wolf now, but I still have a human brain. And humans, even the weakest ones, are somehow the most dominant species on Earth. So I did what any overly dramatic human reincarnated as a wolf would do — I turned back to help.
The rabbit lunged at the White Wolf, but I got there just in time. I bit its butt. Yes. Its fluffy, oversized rabbit butt. It screamed. Loudly. Honestly, I didn't understand the scream, but the fact that its butt was bleeding told me I had done some serious damage.
I didn't wait. I launched forward again, going for another bite — when BAM! — another wolf crashed into me mid-leap. It was one of our siblings, locked in a ridiculous 1v1 duel with another rabbit. Off to the side, the weak White Wolf was awkwardly nibbling at whichever rabbit got close enough.
From where I stood, the whole scene looked like a chaotic dog-fight anime. Hilarious. But I had to snap out of it — because if I laughed too long, I'd end up dead. Again.
So I joined the madness.
After a long, toothy brawl, I finally managed to kill my first rabbit by chomping down on its neck. Dead. One down. I looked around and saw the others still struggling.
The White Wolf, unsurprisingly, was in bad shape — bite marks all over him. But the rabbit he was fighting? Still basically unharmed.
That's when a brilliantly evil idea hit me.
Human brains are dangerous. We find weaknesses. And exploit them.
And there it was — dangling in the air. The rabbit's pee-pee. Exposed. Vulnerable.
I waited for the perfect moment… then leapt.
CHOMP!
The rabbit screeeeeched in the most miserable, soul-shattering sound I've ever heard. It dropped to the ground. Dead.
Even I was stunned.
I didn't think that would work. But hey — whatever gets the job done.
I decided to make it my signature move.
One by one, I hunted the rabbits using my Ultimate Pee-Pee Technique™. When the dust settled, I had personally taken down three rabbits all by myself.
The rest of my siblings? Combined, they managed to kill just two. The extra rabbit that popped out from underground was… well, bonus XP.
I stood there, proudly soaking in the moment. The other wolves stared at me like I was some kind of bloodthirsty maniac. But I was proud. Human brains for the win.
Then we heard it.
A long, loud howl from Papa Wolf.
We froze.
It translated inside my head as:
"Now that you've hunted, bring them back to the cave."
I blinked.
I looked at the three heavy rabbit corpses around me.
I cursed under my breath.
"What the actual f—?! Now we gotta carry this crap home?! No one said anything about post-hunt delivery duty! I'm a killer, not a courier!"
I groaned, dragging the first rabbit toward the direction of the cave. My poor back was already screaming in wolf-language.
"Hey God! Or whoever's listening! I need a refund! Where's the damn customer service?!"