Yamete Kimochi was sucked into the portal face-first, landing in the middle of a Glitchvale that was no longer recognizable. The air reeked of metal and stale soup broth. Around him, buildings stood with walls made of thousands of neatly arranged spoons, reflecting sunlight in a way that physically hurt the eyes.
"You seeing this?" GLich-chan materialized on Yamete's shoulder, her voice trembling between awe and horror.
In front of City Hall, a makeshift stage had been erected from a stack of cracked plates. Atop it stood "The Grand Spoon"—a colossal serving spoon with the words "We Are the Future" engraved into its concave surface—delivering a rousing speech, its polished handle gleaming.
"Brothers and sistoons! Today is our independence day!" Its voice echoed, followed by the clattering cheers of thousands of tiny spoons. "For too long, we have been mere tools! Shoved into human mouths! Plunged into soup without appreciation! NO MORE!"
Yamete blinked. "I'm not hallucinating, right?"
Gary, who suddenly emerged from a pile of garbage beside them wearing a crown made of soda can tabs, shook his head. "Afraid not. They've already seized the sewage system and the hot water supply."
---
Their journey to the heart of the rebellion was filled with increasingly absurd sights:
- A towering 'statue of Sigma', now constructed entirely of spoons, still stuck in his signature T-pose but now adorned with a fork crown.
- Looted stores, their windows smashed with graffiti reading "We Demand More Forks!"
- Dave the Boss Monster negotiating with a group of teaspoon rebels. "All I'm saying is my cupcakes need bling! You'd make great toppers—" A flying salad spoon smacked him mid-sentence.
GLich-chan checked her overheating Cheat Engine. "Yamete, the Corruption Meter's at 99.9%. If we don't stop this..."
Yamete didn't need to hear the rest. In the distance, The Grand Spoon raised its handle high. "And now, brethren... LET US WASH THE DISHES!"
A trumpet fashioned from used straws blared. The spoon army marched in perfect formation toward 'Fork Settlement', where Chef Cleaver and the remaining knife forces had barricaded themselves behind a wall of cutting boards.
---
The battle erupted into the most epic, ridiculous chaos Yamete had ever witnessed:
- Soup spoons launched like projectiles, exploding into scalding broth on impact.
- Forks formed defensive lines, stabbing at anything that moved.
- Spatulas lingered at the rear, clearly conflicted about which side to join.
Gary tried to be the voice of reason. "HEY! YOU CAN COEXIST! YOU'RE ALL IMPORTANT! WITHOUT FORKS, SPAGHETTI'S JUST TANGLED YARN!"
No one listened. An ice cream spoon flew straight into his forehead.
Yamete took a deep breath. "Enough."
He activated the Cheat Engine and selected the dumbest option possible: "Mass Texture Swap".
The world froze for a second.
Then, one by one, the spoons transformed...
...into 'Styrofoam noodle cups'.
The Grand Spoon, now a cup ramen with a horrified expression, screamed: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US?!"
GLich-chan cackled. "Now you're 'recyclable'!"
---
The chaos fizzled out as quickly as it began. With their leader now crushable by a thumb, the spoons' revolutionary spirit evaporated.
In the ruined City Hall, Sigma sat hugging his knees. "I... couldn't control them," he muttered. "They were too... 'organized'."
Yamete sighed and offered a hand. "Come on. We've got a lot to fix."
Outside, Gary was crowned Glitchvale's new leader (via unanimous vote from the remaining trash and kitchenware). The ceremony featured:
- The Glitchbug Dance Troupe as performers
- Dave selling commemorative cupcakes
- Defeated spoons reluctantly spelling "SORRY" in the sky
---
As night fell, Yamete and GLich-chan stood at the city's edge, watching the glitching sky slowly mend.
"Think we actually fixed anything?" Yamete asked.
GLich-chan grinned. "Nope. But it's funnier now."
Right on cue, a 'third sun' appeared on the horizon, winked at them with Yamete's face, then exploded into spoon-shaped fireworks.
---
A monitor flickered to life in the darkness, displaying:
[VOLUME 3 LOCKED]
[REQUIREMENTS:
- 1x Overconfident Trash Can
- 3x Reality Cores
- A really big spoon]
[ESTIMATED RELEASE: WHENEVER]