A lot of pain?
Of course not.
Every cell in my body is screaming as if it had signed up for a premium torture subscription.
Unlimited, of course, with no right of withdrawal.
I blink repeatedly.
It's slow and abysmally difficult, while my brain struggles more than a crashed Windows 98 computer.
"Nghhh..."
A pathetic moan. Bloody hell, what a lack of femininity!
I try to move but I can't, and I decide to turn my head with difficulty.
And there it is.
The carcass.
The fucking Baladorado.
Or rather... what's left of it, it seems.
A pile of bleached bones, collapsed in on themselves, like a mouldy Halloween decoration.
I stand there frozen - well, in any case, I can't move.
My heart is pounding in my temples and my brain is in total shutdown.
A short, dry laugh escapes me.
"You're... you're dead."
I laugh again, Joker-style.
"He's dead because I killed him. I won!"
I didn't even realise it at the time, I was far too busy... surviving.
The realisation hit me square in the face, like a lorry hurtling across my face at 200 km/h with no brakes.
"I've won..."
I feel something dirty rising inside me, at eye level.
Oh boy, weakness is coming!
"No! No, you naughty tear, don't move!
But still...
A tear escapes.
Just one.
I crush it fiercely with the back of my hand.
"Tch... Dirty traitor. Even my tears want me dead."
To think that even a monster like me can have feelings... so I can't imagine in anime where the protagonists shoot monsters by the bucketful.
Anyway, I'm not about to fall apart, especially not after surviving this.
I sucked all the saliva out of my mouth and spat on the ground, straight at the carcass.
Dignity? Buried six feet under.
I stare at the cracked skull of the Baladorado.
"You thought you could take me, didn't you? Dirty little bugger..."
I try to move - of course, I'm still trapped underneath.
Frankly, it's like a divine revelation from a god in "the pile of bones is crushing you again!" mode.
"Even dead, you're still pissing me off..."
I thrust out my shoulder like I did at the gym, and start grunting like a pig in agony.
The skeleton crunches against the stone. It definitely doesn't want to move.
I finally free myself, half-crawling.
"Freedom!!!"
I collapse to the floor, gasping for breath.
I stare at the ceiling of the Labyrinth.
"Stuck under a skeleton... Bloody hell. If that isn't world class."
I roll onto my side, coughing like an old fag.
I finally decide to stare at what's left of the bloody snake.
There's no flesh, no blood, no guts. Just a bleached skeleton.
And unfortunately for me, it would have been revenge to eat it.
I kick the remaining bone.
"Tch... Solid, eh?"
My brain, fried as it is, picks up on the value of this thing.
Thus, a disgusting idea hits me.
Wait for it...
"That's not normal..."
I sit up painfully, a bead of sweat on my face.
"He shouldn't be reduced to bone so quickly."
A shiver goes through me. God, why do crazy things always happen to me?
I try to think and go back to my old science lessons at school.
Flashback direction!
Hmm? Okay, that didn't work. I definitely should have listened a bit more in class...
"I'm not a living encyclopaedia like in the isekai... So knowing how long I've been asleep, no idea!"
I stand there, dumbfounded, staring at this pile of skeletons, my stomach twisted.
"Whether it's been a day or thirty for decomposition, good luck."
I blink, searching the cracks in the ceiling for an answer. But nothing.
The Labyrinth doesn't care.
"Dammit..."
I laugh, but clearly not a laugh that's a sign of good luck.
"I didn't sleep for a few minutes... eh, bastard..."
I slam my fist limply against a rib.
"I must have been sleeping for days... maybe weeks..."
This is no time to panic. Well, I am, but not here, or now for that matter.
I shake my head.
"Just... I really did win just by luck, didn't I?"
I stop, my heart pounding too hard in my chest.
If it wasn't for that bloody temporary regeneration the System threw at me...
I'd be dead, worthy of the biggest Oscars, on a par with Neji's death in Naruto. So no badass epilogue.
I growl.
"Fuck!"
I clench my fists, my claws scraping against my palm.
"I've got to find a way to learn how to fight seriously... Otherwise, next time, I'll really end up in carpaccio."
I look down at my hands, where my claws are.
Useful for scratching faces in a duel of desperation? Valid! But completely useless if I have to keep the monsters at bay.
I scan the carcass of the Baladorado, my gaze stopping on the bleached bones.
They're still holding, they're quite dry, but solid and therefore usable.
A twisted smile contorts my face.
I reach for the spinal column, displayed like a mouldy trophy in the filthy light of the Labyrinth.
"And you? You're going to be my plan B, you bastard."
She's cold. As I clench my fists, I discover its solidity.
A bit dirty, but who gives a shit in real life?
I pull on it, but it resists.
"Seriously? Is it going to resist, you bastard?"
I kick the pile of bones, growling like a rabid mutt.
I try again, and this time I pull with both hands.
A sharp CRACK almost knocks me backwards.
The spine comes with me, rigid, filthy, dripping with dust.
I fall on my arse, my spine in my arms.
I stare at it.
"Good. First... I've got a handle. Now... I need spikes."
I turn my head towards what's left of the Baladorado's mouth.
I approach it on all fours, like a zombie in need of caffeine.
I grab a huge fang and start pulling at it.
Does it move too? Wow, this snake's got a body worthy of a Wolverine.
I pull harder this time and... still nothing.
"Tch... Come on, let go, you bastard..."
I wedge my foot against the skull.
CRACK.
The hook snaps and nearly rips my arms off.
I end up on the floor with the fang stuck in my shoulder.
Not deep, but just enough to hurt like hell.
"AAAAAH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!"
Superb: a splinter the size of a tooth.
I roll on the floor, swearing like a carter. I pull the fang out with a cry worthy of a duck whose throat has been slit.
I stare at it. It's long, very sharp, worthy of being called perfect.
I giggle, still out of breath.
"A fang, check. Three litres of pain, check too.
I grimace.
I look at the spine and the fang.
"How am I going to get that in there?
I look for a gap between the vertebrae and force it with my fingers.
I grabbed a stone from the ground and started banging on the spine like a moron, until a crack opened up.
I wedge the hook into it and it ends up digging into the bone at an angle.
It's not straight and it's not pretty, let's face it.
But it holds.
"HA! YOU SEE, ASSHOLE!"
I hold up my makeshift stake like an Olympic trophy.
I repeat the operation just in case, a few times.
Second hook. Then a third hook.
Each time, it's a monumental struggle, and each time, a bit more swearing.
When I've finished, I've got a broken-down weapon.
Something between a Halloween broom and a psychopathic bum's weapon of war.
"Perfect."
I raise my improvised weapon in front of me.
A stake bristling with c
rocs, crude, brutal, magnificent in its ugliness.
But I'm armed, damn it. At last, after so many adventures.
A weary smile stretches across my cracked lips.
"Who wants to taste my toothpick from hell, eh?
No reply.
"Well... time to go. It's too dangerous here!
With my makeshift weapon clutched tightly to me, I enter the tunnel.
Black rocks with lots of cracked walls, and the smell...
Oh God, the smell.
A smell of rotting damp, worthy of an Otaku's bedroom.
A corridor made to suffocate any clueless idiot.
Good thing I'm here!
"Did I just call myself stupid?
Anyway, you don't want to know!
Oh, the tunnel climbs gently, and generally the height = good sign.
But hey, it's not a golden staircase, right?
It's just a dirty slope, and the floor is fucking hot!
"No monsters? Perfect. I've had enough of fighting for one day."
The air is changing too.
The heat is starting to rise everywhere.
Not pleasant, but not really worse than before.
Just... different. A little less livable, maybe.
"Great. I've gone from 'dying instantly' to 'agonising in slow motion'.
What fucking progress."
I giggle to myself.
And yeah, I like it.
The tunnel continues to climb, the air getting heavier with every step.
And it's getting a lot hotter.
"Bloody hell, why is it so hot!?"
I frown.
The rock around me has changed without me realising it.
The sticky black of the walls has given way to a dark red, veined with glowing cracks.
The floor has hardened and cracked, as if an invisible furnace is eating away at it from the inside.
I place one bare foot on a crack.
The burn makes me wince.
"Seriously? What is this closed oven?"
My voice echoes faintly in the tunnel, muffled by the suffocating thickness of the air.
The heat is not normal.
"Nah swear, Sherlock, I hadn't noticed."
God, if anyone looked at me, they'd think I had IDD...
The maze doesn't care about me. And the heat is just heavy, like a summer's day.
Not just muggy, like a gym after a sumo tournament.
No, it's a living heat. One of those things that crawls over your skin.
Something that wants to eat you slowly, cook you from the inside, without the slightest mercy.
I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand, but the sweat just flows harder, unstoppable.
The tunnel suddenly widens in front of me.
"Not a good sign, that..." I stop for a moment.
I stop for a moment at the edge of the opening abyss.
A hellish landscape stretches out before me.
Glowing walls, distorted by waves of heat.
The cracked ground exhales wisps of burning mist.
The air itself seems to dance and undulate like a living mirage.
And fucking lava. Jesus, when did the Labyrinth become a volcano?
"Lava? No wonder it's hot..."
Even without a map and even without fucking directions from the System.
I knew it.
"This is shit..."
A shiver runs slowly up my spine.
Not from fear. Well, not really.
Just... primal instinct screaming that I've just stepped into territory where the slightest mistake means my death warrant.
"System, weren't you supposed to send me somewhere less dangerous?
[Current position: The Great Labyrinth of Elroe (Middle Stratum)]
I cough, swearing under my breath.
"Great... I've climbed up a few flights of hell and this is the reward..."
So, to recap: I'm currently familiar with three zones. The aberrant zone, which is currently the lowest, then the middle zone where there's magma, and the zone where I pop, which is the upper zone. So, logically, there's a lower one!
"System! Is there a lower zone?"
[ Yes, it's below the middle zone and is notoriously dangerous ]
Well, now I've picked up two important pieces of information! There are four zones in all (let's see if the System isn't hiding any zones from me?) and I'm so clever that I've discovered them!
I tighten my grip on my makeshift weapon, the grating bone column creaking under my sweaty fingers.
I plant a foot in the Middle Stratum.
Instantly, the air hits me like a molten slap.
I leap back, arms flailing like a moron.
"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FURNACE IS THIS?
I stand at the edge of the abyss, panting, my heart pounding in my ears.
The heat licks at my skin, even from this distance. I run a trembling hand over my sweat-soaked forehead.
"On the one hand, literal hell, and on the other, a place full of monsters... Right!"
Calm down and think.
"Well... if I just move forward a little... maybe it'll pass, right?"
Crappy idea? Yeah, totally.
But it's not like I've got anything better.
I take a breath - bad idea, it burns - and move forward a metre.
The heat crushes me.
My stomach churns and my legs scream.
I turn straight back, spitting out some not very academic insults.
Back into the tunnel.
"Okay... okay... second try."
I grit my teeth, and this time I last ten seconds.
Then, strategic escape to the rear.
"For fuck's sake, the heat's too much!"
And again, and again, and again...
I was just about to give up when, from playing leapfrog with death, I began to feel my body adapt.
Very slightly.
As if my muscles stopped screaming straight away, as if the air burned a little less violently.
Not really better, but... bearable.
Then suddenly.
[The skill has reached the required level. Skill acquired [LV1 Fire Resistance]. ]
I blink.
Then I raise my arms to the sky.
"FINALLY, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
My voice is lost in the furnace.
I quickly hide in case anyone heard me, and giggle like a moron.
"Fucking hell... I nearly got roasted fifty times for a lousy level 1... Seriously, System? Seriously?"
I raise my improvised weapon like a mouldy sceptre.
"It doesn't matter! I'm barbecue-proof now, you bastards!
A mocking laugh escapes me.
I plant one foot firmly in the Middle Stratum.
And this time I keep going. It's a miracle!
I grit my teeth. This time, there's no going back.
In the distance, silhouettes were moving.
"This is not a good start.
Creatures.
Really huge. Glowing red. Pulsating with heat.
I squint.
A gigantic thing, covered in scales as black as soot, sinks into a crevasse, kicking up sprays of lava.
Some kind of catfish, I think I saw, or what, here? No, I must be drinking too much.
"Oh fuck... This isn't a dungeon, it's an open-air cremation."
I spit on the floor, but the saliva evaporates before it even hits the rock.
The heat is hellish.
And yet... I can feel my body adapting. Just a little.
[The skill has reached the required level. The skill [Fire Resistance LV1] has become [Fire Resistance LV2].
I blink.
"I blink. Even my body doesn't want to die as quickly as it should, that's beautiful."
I half chuckle, my throat rasping.
I keep going, and naturally, further on, another massive creature slowly crosses a sea of lava.
"I don't want to know what it is."
I crash to the ground, hiding behind a cracked rock.
"It's official. If I get spotted here, I'm a fucking marshmallow."
I crawl silently, but the rock is hot under my hands.
Another sound, always the same one, eh...
[The skill has reached the required level. The skill [Fire Resistance LV2] has become [Fire Resistance LV3]].
I grit my teeth.
"Yeah, yeah, keep grilling me, we'll see who cracks first, motherfuckers..."
I sit up slowly.
The heat is still there, but I'm coping a little better.
I start walking again.
"I'm not going to die here.
I'm not going to be a Sunday roast for these things.
"Soon I'll be the Queen of the Barbecue!
A nervous laugh escapes me as I move on.
I slump down in a sort of empty mini-grotto in the shade, or rather... in a corner just a little less burning.
I drop my makeshift weapon against the stone. It feels like my skin is still smoking in places.
I stare into the emptiness in front of me.
And for once, I think.
Not just "survive".
Not just "going blind".
I clench my fists.
"How the fuck am I supposed to get stronger?"
Not just struggle, no: be able to slap the shit out of this rotten world.
I swallow, my throat dry.
"System.
Tell me something.
How do I get stronger?"
Silence.
No silence. The system won't help me! Fucking system of...
Then.
[The main possibilities for progress are as follows.]
I squint.
Okay, I should shut up so as not to offend him.
"Wait, since when have you been helping me?"
[As said before, you've become a creature categorised as significant potential.]
I raise an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah? Does that at least get me some cool perks?"
[Here's a list of possibilities:]
[→ Increase physical skills and resistance to extreme conditions]
[→ Develop the use of elemental magic.]
[→ Evolve into higher life forms adapted to the environment.]
[→ Master special techniques through experience and training.]
I blink.
"Huh."
I stare at the floating lines, brain slowly reconnecting its melted neurons.
"Elemental magic... Seriously? Me? A magician?"