Chapter 60 – HongSam's Confession (2)
Translator: – – Editor: – –
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
"Tiring!?" Seo Kwang grumbled at his mother's playful words.
"Make yourself at home. Feel free to read whatever you want," she said.
Seo Kwang took Juho to a place in the innermost part of the store. It was quite far from the register, so they didn't have to worry about their conversation being overheard.
"What would you like to drink? We have good bread too. Whatever you want, you can have it for free."
Though Juho turned her down respectfully, she brought out drinks and a generous amount of bread.
"Thank you."
"Of course! There's a lot more."
"Yes, ma'am."
While Seo Kwang left for a moment, Juho looked around the store. There were all kinds of books, from nursery rhymes to self-help to literature. Among all the books, nursery rhymes were the most common, especially the ones from overseas. All written in their original language, there were enough to fill an entire wall.
"Those are our store's main products. Our store is well known among nursery rhyme collectors," Seo Kwang said with a laptop in his hand. A customer was behind him.
"Hello," Seo Kwang's mother welcomed the customer with a bright smile. He ordered a drink and picked out a book for himself. He seemed to be a regular.
"Having distinguishing qualities is essential for neighborhood bookstores. Although, I can't really read them because they're in English."
"That's unfortunate."
"Sure is. I'm sure you understand what it feels like to wait desperately for a translated copy of a book from your favorite author."
"Maybe, maybe not," Juho answered with a smile.
Then, Seo Kwang clapped as if he'd remembered something, "You speak English right? So annoying!"
"Why don't you learn?"
"It's a lot easier said than done."
"That is true."
Learning a language was not easy. James had told Juho once about his struggle with teaching foreign students. Whether teaching or learning, putting in the effort was necessary for both parties. Language was a delicate tool.
"What's with the laptop?"
"I thought it'd be better to show you."
Ads by Pubfuture
He turned the laptop on and went into a familiar looking blog. 'HongSam's World of Books,' it was Seo Kwang's blog.
"You really are HongSam."
Juho came to that realization once again as he watched Seo Kwang managing the blog. It was the moment when the corporate worker HongSam became the high school student Seo Kwang in his mind.
"You're a good writer," he said sincerely. Seo Kwang might have been a better writer when it came to book reviews.
"That's flattering. Well, I'm pretty confident when it comes to reviewing books even though I kind of struggle with original stories."
"Like what Mr. Moon pointed out."
Mr. Moon had often pointed out Seo Kwang's plot development. He had to find it difficult to come up with a story of his own.
'Maybe it's because he has so many books in his head,' Juho speculated light-heartedly.
"Look at this."
After glancing over to the register, he set his laptop in front of Juho. He didn't want his parents to know. Juho looked at the screen with a faint smile. There was an email written in spotty grammar.
"A foreigner?"
"Yep."
"Is this your first love?"
"Hey, speak quieter," Seo Kwang said with his index on his mouth.
"Good times," Juho smiled without even realizing.
The email was from a person with the nickname "Ginger." 'HongSam and Ginger... that's a curious combination,' he thought as he read the email. In summary, the point of the email was:
"I'd like to meet you in person." Juho asked as he looked away from the screen, "How did "Ginger" find out about your blog?"
"So..." he said quietly even though his mother was busy dealing with a customer. "I think she's a foreigner who's been studying Korean. She probably found my blog while looking for a Korean novel. It would have been a good resource for her since it's a blog that focuses on book reviews. So, she visited frequently."
"Your reviews are written colloquially. That makes sense."
"I got a message from her one day, and it turns out that she has a similar taste in books, so we started talking over email, mostly about books and Korea."
As proof, his inbox was full of emails he had exchanged with Ginger. Seo Kwang was full of life when he talked about her, and Juho listened quietly.
"She's twenty-five years old and lives in the UK. She watches a lot of K-dramas and listens to a lot of K-Pop, so she started studying Korean. That's when she fell in love with Korean novels."
'A love that they overcame the time difference,' Juho thought.
"Have you seen her face?" he asked.
"Nope."
"Phone number?"
"Don't know."
Ads by Pubfuture
"What if she's a dangerous person?" he asked as he looked through the emails.
"I'm trusting she's not."
Their relationship had evolved from discussing common interests to something more. From Juho's point of view, she didn't seem to be lying either. She had never asked for money and she had taken the initiative to ask to meet. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to expect the unexpected.
"And she's into you?"
"Yep."
Juho clicked the next email. Ginger's affection had become very apparent at the very end of it.
"She is into you."
It was possible for a person to fall in love with a person who they had never met. Communication was what made that possible. Instead of verbally, the two had been talking to one another through emails. They had introduced themselves to one another and told one another about themselves, things they liked and disliked, things they found fun or boring, good days, bad days... They knew about each other's current life.
"Yep," he answered quietly.
"So, what's the issue?" Juho asked.
Issue. At that word, Seo Kwang's expression suddenly grew darker, and Juho had an idea. They had feelings for each other, yet Seo Kwang couldn't answer her email willingly. It hadn't been his doubt or the distance between the two.
"Is it age?"
Seo Kwang dropped his head, writhing in pain.
"Why did I do that? I shouldn't have cared so much about sounding convincing. I shouldn't have faked my age. Now, I have to lie to someone I consider to be my destiny. I have to trick her," he said with his head buried in his arms.
Juho read the email again. 'I'll be visiting Korea this month. I'd like to meet you then.'
"How old does she think you are?"
"... the same age."
Twenty-five. Seo Kwang had added eight years to his age, but Juho suggested a simple solution, "Just be honest."
"Sigh. It's not that simple," he added. "Imagine if I'd said 'Actually, I'm seventeen.' It'd be over."
Seventeen. He was young, an underage, at that. He wasn't even old enough to buy alcohol. There was no way to know how Ginger would respond, so it made sense that Seo Kwang was struggling so much.
"So, are you planning to keep lying to her?"
"... I don't want to do that either."
"Of course," he answered. "Then, I guess you just gotta be honest."
"Ughhh," Seo Kwang grumbled.
Juho thought about the significance of Seo Kwang revealing his actual age. According to her emails, Ginger seemed to be polite and someone who acted with common sense. He had predicted that a twenty-five year old Ginger would not consider a seventeen year old Seo Kwang as a romantic partner.
"You know that, right?"
Ever Wondered What Happened To Pushing Daisies? Find Out
His 45 Year Penny Saving Habit Finally Paid Off!
"..."
Seo Kwang knew, and that's why he had been hesitating. The two had been communicating and sharing each other's lives. Unfortunately, Seo Kwang was neither twenty-five nor a corporate worker.
"It was so nice..." Seo Kwang said.
"Waiting for her replies had been the most heart-fluttering moments of the past seventeen years."
Juho stared at him intently.
"Man, some lover you are."
"Please don't make fun of me," he answered sadly as he thought of Ginger. "I don't want to lie to her, but I don't want to tell her the truth either."
Juho didn't feel that criticizing would be necessary. There was no use in crying over spilled milk. In all this, Seo Kwang was probably the person who was hurting the most.
"You still have to write back to her, right?"
Seo Kwang nodded sadly. He really didn't want to trick her and he had been constantly fighting with the thoughts in his mind. Otherwise, he'd simply walk away from the situation and he'd justify himself as he did. For that reason, he needed someone to question him so that he could come up with an honest answer.
"How do you want to do this?" Juho asked. There was a brief moment of silence, and he sipped on his drink as he waited for an answer. It was grapefruit-ade, sweet, and slightly tart. The surface of the cup was covered with droplets of water that flowed down the cup pulled by their own weight.
Finally, Seo Kwang responded, "I'm not going to trick her."
"And then?" he asked.
"I'll see her. I'm done hiding behind my nickname."
"OK. Now, it comes down to how you're going to write your reply," Juho said as he savored his drink.
"Ahhh!" Seo Kwang cried. The fear seemed to revisit him as he came closer to the core of the issue.
"Why don't we write something sincere, like when you're reviewing a book?" Juho suggested in order to prevent him from backing out.
"I'm a timid loser at heart."
"Don't you think that will work somehow?"
With first loves, being snazzy had no value whatsoever. Apparently, next to alcohol, it was the second scariest thing to be drunk on. Juho rooted for his friend's first love that was both sweet and slightly tart.
With his hands on the keyboard, Seo Kwang asked Juho as he hesitated, "Can you help?"
"You're asking now?"
"You're the best thing that happened to me."
"Why don't you tell that to your love?"
"You speak English," Seo Kwang said with his lips clenched.
"I do."
"Help me translate, will you?"
With all the work she had put in writing back to him in Korean, he must have wanted to reciprocate her efforts. There was no reason to say no.
"Alright, anytime," Juho accepted willingly.
He had never translated before, but he wasn't worried. He had been keeping himself busy, getting familiar with his language acquisition device. It should be just as useful for translations.
"Here goes nothing," Seo Kwang said. He wrote to be as honestly as possible.
'Maybe the person who really looks like an author here is Seo Kwang,' Juho thought in passing.Chapter 61 – HongSam's Confession (3)
Translator: – – Editor: – –
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
"Let me go get a drink of water."
"Again? You've gone several times already. Calm down."
"No, I feel like my voice is going to crack. I can't let that happen when we're meeting for the first time."
"If you don't want to go to the bathroom in the middle of a conversation, wait."
"I guess so. I'm going to go to the bathroom really quickly then."
Juho was trying to calm Seo Kwang down. They were waiting for Ginger in front of a large bookstore in GwangHwaMun. After sending her an honest email, she had written back the following day. Unlike previously, it had been written in English that time. Juho translated it. Though she sounded flustered, she was understanding. Seo Kwang wrote that she didn't have to see him if she didn't feel comfortable doing so, but she didn't cancel their plans.
"How do you think this will go?"
"I'm not sure," Juho answered calmly.
"I'm sure this is the end," Seo Kwang said.
"Maybe of the feelings?" Juho answered as he looked at him intently.
Seo Kwang ruffled his hair and looked up, "I'm going to make the most of it while it lasts."
With that, he focused on keeping his spirits up. He tried to concentrate on being an average teenager who looked forward to meeting a girl, and Juho didn't say anything else.
Without getting any explanation, the club members looked at him weird.
"Did you finally lose your mind?" Sun Hwa said.
"I do feel like I'm getting close. This is a beautiful world we're living in."
Sun Hwa was at loss for words. Instead, she tapped Juho on the arm.
"Don't ask me," he said.
"Don't you write anything like 'I won't let a drop of water touch your hand,'"Mr. Moon said after reading Seo Kwang's composition.
Unlike Juho, who was chuckling, Seo Kwang answered with a bright smile, "Yes, Mr. M!"
He was a brave fellow, that one.
"Do I need anything else? Should I have a book in my hand or something?"
"No, you're fine the way you are."
Ads by Pubfuture
"Yeah? What about my hair? Should I go put on some wax?"
"No, you're fine."
He must have asked those things at least several hundred times. Seo Kwang had been frantically fixing his hair and making himself look tidier. Meanwhile, Juho patted his tense, rigid back.
"You're doing fine. Just be yourself," he said.
"That's the hardest thing for me at the moment," he answered as he wiped his sweaty palm on his pants. "I don't think I've been this nervous about meeting someone. It wouldn't be this bad even if I was meeting God Himself."
"That's not nice."
"I don't have a religion, but I feel like now would be a good time to find one," he said, and Juho prayed that he wouldn't make a mistake in front of Ginger.
"How's my breath? I brushed my teeth three times. You want a whiff?"
"Yo, get that away from me," Juho said as he pushed Seo Kwang away.
"Try taking a deep breath. You're going to be exhausted before you even see her."
"I'm fine. Unusually fine. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, but how is that I don't even feel tired?"
'Probably because you're excited,' Juho murmured internally.
It seemed like Juho would have to have the same conversation with his friend a couple hundred more times before Ginger arrived. He looked around as time approached. She had said that she'd be wearing a green cardigan, but he didn't see anyone with one of those yet.
"Isn't it fascinating?" Seo Kwang said with a calmer voice.
"What is?"
"That I fell in love with someone I haven't even met? Writing is amazing. It transfers emotions just as they are. It's different from speaking."
Juho nodded quietly.
Writing really was amazing. It made a bookworm fall in love with a girl. Being as tactful a student as he was, Seo Kwang wrote to her with awkward English and attitude.
"I'm going to apologize when I see her. This time, in person."
"I'm sure she'll forgive you."
"Then, I'll confess. I'll tell her that I still like her. Not as the twenty-five year old HongSam, but as the seventeen year old Seo Kwang," he said with determination and added, "I'm sure she'll say no, but at least it'll be in person."
Juho thought of her emails. There had been forgiveness in her reply. She hadn't cancelled their plans and she had said that she understood him. Then, she had said jokingly at the end, 'I guess now you need to address me formally.'
As a person who had a deep interest in Korean culture, she must have understood the significance in speaking with formality. There would be a distance between them as noona and dongsaeng – older 'sister' and younger 'brother.' Things would never go back to the way they were when they would talk to each other as people of the same age.
Seo Kwang and Juho both understood that as soon as they saw that sentence in the email. After all, Seo Kwang had tact. Yet, he insisted on coming out to meet her. To be rejected once again. To confess to her one more time.
"I'll buy you fried chicken. Let me know when you're done," Juho said quietly.
Seo Kwang's face puckered for the first time.
"No, thanks. I have a feeling I'd be haunted by bad memories if I have fried chicken again. I love fried chicken too much. While you're at it, buy me pizza instead."
Ads by Pubfuture
Juho nodded, although he was slightly confused. 'If that's what you want.'
"Alright. Whatever it is, I'll let you eat to your heart's content. Good luck!" he said.
At that moment, Seo Kwang saw a foreigner with brown hair walking toward him, wearing a green cardigan. 'It has to be her,' he thought as if he knew the face of his love. It was Ginger.
"I'm going to have myself the bestest day in my life," he said as he took a step forward.
He was still nervous on the inside. Leaving his anxiety behind, Seo Kwang walked toward her. Juho watched them having a conversation from the distance. Seo Kwang was making exaggerated movements.
"First love."
He let out a faint smile at the sound of those bittersweet words and thought about the excitement on Seo Kwang's face. Then, he took a small notebook out from his pocket. In there, were a mother with her two children.
'Love. She must have experienced it at some point in her life. There had to be a time when she had met her love for the first time.' He felt the woman's gloomy, aggressive appearance mellowing out a little bit.
It was a busy day at the publishing company. People worked while being surrounded by books. They read pages and pages of drafts while keeping in touch with the authors and deciding on the designs for the book covers. Amid the bustle of business, Nam Kyung was writing an email to the people who had shown interest in adapting Juho's book into a movie.
It wasn't uncommon for authors to turn down a movie adaptation offer. Every author had a reason for not wanting their book to be made into a movie. Juho was the same way. He'd made the decision because he'd had an opinion as an author.
As an editor, Nam Kyung's job at that point was to respect the author's opinion.
He looked through the inbox and the countless offers he had turned down. There were names of renowned studios and directors among them.
Sang Young Ju.
His hand suddenly stopped as he scrolled down the list. He had heard of that name from a movie preview show that aired every Sunday. In that week's episode, they had introduced the directors.
Nam Kyung had paid little attention, even as the TV showed a climactic scene of one of Sang Young's movies. He had never heard of his name or his movies before that.
However, although he'd never drawn millions of people to the audience or been invited to a film festival, his movies were simply gorgeous.
'Why isn't he known yet?' It was Nam Kyung's first question when he saw one of his movies.
'It has to be time. It's a matter of time before he spreads his wings as an director,' he thought.
It was unfortunate that he had turned down such a talented director. He hadn't realized it when he had written to the director, but the regret finally caught up to him.
"Maybe I should try bringing it up to Juho again," he said and reached into his pocket to find his phone, but it was empty. 'Where did I put my phone?' he thought, looking through his messy desk. Because of that, he had completely missed out on the conversation between his coworkers.
"There's a strange person outside."
"A strange person?"
"I'm not sure, but apparently he's just sitting still in front of the building."
"Should we call the police?"
"I'm sure that security will take care of him."
"I'm going to learn English," Seo Kwang said as he shoved a slice of pizza into his mouth. He was completely incomprehensible, but Juho was able to understand somehow.
His 45 Year Penny Saving Habit Finally Paid Off!
Ever Wondered What Happened To Pushing Daisies? Find Out
"Why?" Juho asked as he sipped on his Coke.
"I've made a promise."
"What promise?" he asked as he chewed fiercely. The world might not have been such a beautiful place after all.
"That I'm really going to go visit her the year I turn twenty-five."
"So, you two decided to stay friends?"
"Yeah! Friends! Friendzoned!" he said angrily as he chugged his Cola. He almost looked like he was drinking. "When I met her, she greeted me in Korean." She had done so informally. "So, I greeted her back." As agreed, he addressed her with formality. They had both been sincere in their promises.
He poked the cheese that had stretched out from the pizza and said, "So that's why I'm going to learn English and let her know how I feel."
"What?"
"'Hi,'" he said with a mischievous smile. Like Ginger had done, he was planning on saying hello to her in her native tongue when he eventually turned twenty-five years old.
"That's not exactly formal."
"I know."
"OK, then."
There was no promise that he would actually be able to get in touch with her when he turned twenty-five. His heart might have changed by then. She might be seeing someone by then. Still, he had decided that he was going to learn English and visit her. There was nothing Juho could do but root for his friend.
"Where did you learn English?"
"I'm self-taught," he answered with a shrug.
"You can do that?"
"I'm sure it depends on the person."
"You're so annoying."
"Haha!"
For a while, Juho had to withstand criticism from Seo Kwang.
"One day, I'm going to surpass you," he said with unexplainable determination. He must have been drunk from his Coke.
"You said you gave her a book, right? Which book was it?" Juho changed the subject as he brought his cup to his mouth.
"'The Trace of a Bird.'"
Juho almost spat out his drink.
"Why?" he asked as he barely swallowed the drink in his mouth.
"Well, it's a good book. And..."
"And?"
"She's a fan... of Yun Woo..." he mumbled as if complaining.
"Do you want more food?" Juho asked. He felt sorry for him for some reason.
"You know what? I'll take you up on that offer. Tonight, I'm going to EAT. I'll pitch in, so let's eat together."
After ordering another round of pizza along with various sides, they ended up going home with boxes of leftovers. Of course, Juho paid for everything.
Seo Kwang's first love came to its bittersweet end as he walked around the park to help with digestion. The following day, he immediately submitted his application to a contest.