The dinner was challenging at first, with a lot of yelling, sarcasm, and a few slapping. But I didn't feel any cold feelings at all, as if Mrs. Meride lit up the fire at the fireplace or that she must have her personal sun for herself. This house has something that my house doesn't have. It feels nostalgic. Even as a kid, I never experienced something like this at the dining table. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will be eighteen. All I think about is my father. I wish he was here with me, but I also—don't want to.
I don't want him to see the mess I have created or the chaos I have faced until now. But it would be nice if we were together as a family, and I miss my mother a lot these days. Everything always brings back to the truth. We can't hide or lie to ourselves over and over again. It would eat us alive. I have no idea what her past was like or why she had to die miserably like that. And for me, I might deserve to face that because I am not a good person. I create karma and have to face it, probably sooner than I thought. I wish for the worst so I can live my life as it should be and cherish it as much as I can while I still have time to breathe or until someone catches me this time. And he won't make a mistake again. Then I'll die; the death takes me away. I'll let him cut my veins. But until that time. I must clear the ugly truth about my mother, Emily, and Mrs. Meride.
"You said you have something to ask. Ask away, my love," Mrs.Meride says, relaxing with her glass of wine, admiring the fireplace, and watching me with genuine care.
"I know it might sound out of the blue, but why my mother ended a relationship with Mrs. Oskar? Mrs. Meride pauses her movement, "Do you know anything?" I ask lightly,
"It's totally out of the blue, heh," she forces herself to chuckle,
"I know that my mother was very close to her—at some point. I stopped going to Oskar's house and came to your house instead, but my mother never told me why."
"Don't tell me you liked Oskar's house more than mine?" she teases,
"Of course not. I loved it here. I always love it here. My mother, too, I can tell. She seemed genuinely delighted and happy around you."
"You miss her, don't you?"
"Very much,"
"Me too—it's been two years, and you will graduate soon," she pauses after looking at my face because she knows that my mother couldn't be there with me on that occasion.
"I've never asked about her before…I kept her in my heart for so long. Perhaps it's time; I want to know more about her." I said,
Mrs. Meride, listen to me as I almost see her tearing up. She smiles and touches my hand. "Genevieve, she was my ultimate best friend, hehe, she is one of my soulmates, and I think she would think the same." She smiles. "Gen—she was the creative one, loved to explore. She was in tune with her feelings. She wouldn't stay for a second when it didn't feel right. Emily brought her creative side to life, the idea of Gen's vision; Emily supported her and made it happen. But there's a thing, there are always many sides to stories because there are many involved. Oskar is a visionary and active family. They are found with someone who is like your mother." She pauses and sips her wine, "but everything needs to end when it doesn't feel right. So she stopped, she ended. There was a rumor," she looks at me, "You might have heard of it," she hesitates,
"I have heard many, Mrs. Meride." I look back into her eyes so she knows this conversion is real.
She sighs, "There was one of the stupid rumors, very stupid, that Jake had an affair with—" she sighs,
"With my mother?" she nods; I am shocked, but "Do you believe it?"
"Of course not," she pauses, "But I do believe that he might be more interested in her than just her vision."
I hold my breath, Mr. Oskar and my mother.
I presume that was real, so my mother ended the relationship with Oskar before Emily found out. So Emily was also fond of me, nice to me because she didn't know because she genuinely liked my mother, but she must have heard this rumor as well, right? People in town, especially people in that timeline, for example, Mrs. Meride.
Then I flinch after feeling Mrs. Meride's touch. "It was a stupid rumor, darling," she says,
I smile, "so she came to you," I say,
"I came to her," she says with her beautiful smile. She had no one to really put her vulnerability on, me as well, heh; it was a rough year for both of us." She says, "We leaned on each other and had fun with it."
"5 years," I say,
"Heh, almost 6 years, darling. You will be 18 tomorrow,"
"You remember," I say,
"Of course, I remember, Zia." She holds both my hands. I know no one would replace you, Mother. Zia, honey, you have always been one of my children. I have always seen you as one since you Gen brought you here."
My tears rise up again,
"Irin sees you as one of her soulmates—Ivan, too, like it or not, hehe." I chuckle along with her. They both obsess with you in a good way." I laugh.
"Thank you, Mrs. Meride," I say,
"No, thank you. You make our family more like family. If you weren't here 5 years ago, Ivan and Irin would have killed each other before they grew up." I smile, "Enough about this—how about him?" she says and glances at Zygmunt, who is conversing seriously with Ivan in the backyard.
"I–" I don't know how to explain in words.
"To be honest, I should trust my gut." I look at her, wondering. "Zygmunt, he seemed to have eyes only you since then, but he was shy, hahaha," I hadn't seen you talk with each other, but—he was always there beside you---always. Very protective more than Ivan, actually,"
"I had no idea," I say, glancing at him through the glass window.
"From outside the perspective. He really loves you, I can say." She pauses, "So I am relieved that you will be in good hands and safe with him." I smile, "I haven't seen you smile like this, darling. You must love him," I nod,
"I'm glad," she smiles, "now I am also relieved that he will not be alone anymore. I'm very glad that he has you by his side, each other side." she leans her back, "Very glad,"