"Sam. How do you feel about our progress?" My therapist notes something down on her pad.
"I don't know." I say. It's been weird, ever since I got back from Ayat's house that night. I don't remember a thing that happened at her house. All I know is, that I fainted infront of Ayat's doorsteps.
When I got back to our mansion, Mr Faisal had already contacted a personal therapist for me. I won't lie, at first I panicked, I burst out in anger and I completely exploded on everyone. More reasons why Mr Faisal made me consider a few sessions. What's a few anyway, it won't hurt. My anger issues are not being resolved, and it's getting harder each day to explain myself to everyone. How I'm not a bad person, I uhm, just have a lose temper ever since I— ever since my incounter with Jawad. I'm not as tough as I let myself be seen,
I never wanted become a murderer..
I just I don't want to come out as a monster in the end.
"Before we end, is there anything you'd like to discuss?" She asks. She's an elderly woman, around forty or something, her dark brown skin and gorgeous smile that meets with her eyes, is everything an unhealthy person needs. And I feel like I should say what's inside of me.
"I'm so afraid of the end." My voice shakes a bit.
"End of what?" She calmy asks.
"End of my purpose. The end that I've been searching for my whole life. These terrible sensations that make me see how the end is near and— it's not bright." My voice breaks, I'm stuttering.
"I don't want to become someone, I'm not— I don't want to become a brute, a demon, or to hurt anyone." My legs anonymously keeps shaking. "My intentions are never to hurt someone but somehow it always ends up with me hurting someone."
Maybe a cruse my parents left for me.
"Why would you think you're hurting people?"
"Because I did hurt someone— not just a slight sort of hurt but on a seriously deeper level—"
"I'll sink this knife deeper now"
"I just don't want to— end up a monster."
"Hold on, hold on. Can you hear me?"
I see myself Killing everyone around me. I see my hands dripping in blood in my sleep.
I know the end is not bright for me.
"I can't sleep— I'm so tired doc, I simply just want to sleep for some hours. Just a few hours. And it's not even about wanting to sleep anymore— I need to sleep." My forehead furrow as I keep fidgeting with my hands. Anxiety, all I feel go through my body, my veins is anxiety. I haven't slept in days. My eyelids feel heavy and burdened. But I can't sleep.
"Sam, from these past four sessions with you, I can surely confirm you, there's been progress. You're doing great, and with this amount of bravery from you. You will sleep." Doc says.
"Do you really think I'm progressing?" My palms are damp and clammy, maybe even shivering a slight but I try to cover them.
"I'm sure of it Sam." She smiles. "So Sam, How will you celebrate your progress?" She asks.
"I'm not sure." I wipe a little tear that was fonding near my eye.
"You must have some idea." She insists me.
"I want to share it with the one person who looked after me when I collapsed." I say.
"And who might that generous person be?" She asks.
"She's my childhood buddy Ayat." I say. "Though, I think after leaving her in that university— our connection faded."
"It's never to late to rebuild a bond."
"I know— but, it's just really awkward now. She doesn't talk to me eye to eye." I say, It's been a month since I last saw her.
"Meet with her, and don't act formal, be that 13 year old Sam again with her. I'm sure she'll feel more comfortable to open up and talk then."
"You think so?"
"I know so." She smiles. And I smile back.
"Just so you know Sam. Reconnecting with a friend is a big step, and you should be proud of yourself." She says.
My eyes nearly got teary.
"Thanks doc."
. . . .
-A few days later
"Hey, I thought we could go on a ride?" I say, standing infront of a mirror, in Ayat's restaurant.
No, no, that's not right. Again.
"Hey! I was thinking, maybe we'd go on a ride, clear our thoughts?"
Ugh feels too staged.
It's awkward, I haven't seen Ayat for about a month now, she must be thinking how thankless I am. She took care of me and what did I do?—I vanished.
I sigh.
Back than we didn't had much authority to visit regularly, we didn't own cars, we had to go through trains and shit. We had so much work, we had to work for ourselves to get this promotion. Ayat was living in dorms, so we couldn't stay the nights, how were we supposed to stay for a week? We were so young, all three of us. We were working, sweating, to get to where we are today. But now that we're adults and prompted, Ayat has her own house and Ifan has his place, I visit them oftentimes. I own my own car, so whenever I feel like hanging out with them, I drive to them. When Ifan used to live with me, I had no reason to pay a visit here more often, but now that he lives here, In the city, I have my reasons to come more often.
I do like seeing Ayat often.
And I think I'm misusing the word often. I should probably stop saying often.
I've grown to like the city. Where everyone I love is there. Except for Mr Faisal. I take a leap of sigh.
Okay, Let's try again.
"I was thinking, we should go on a ride?" Feels too forward. I smack my lips.
"Have you ever tried riding before?" Oh absolutely not, that sounds sexual.
How can I return the favor—platonically.
"Hey?" With a smirk? "Wanna be my backpack?" Sounds awful.
Ugh what am I supposed to do. I'd be looking like a fool, an idiot infront of her.
Gosh I hate Ifan so much. man literally made me question every piece of reality to ever exist. Asshole.
Yeah I know we're passed all that shifting phase, it's just I like to cuss at him. He's stupid anyway.
He wants to get married, have kids, a house with green money. I mimic him. Where as I'm taking therapy.. and I can't even reconnect with a friend.
But I'm happy for him. He went through hell to get here.
I'll tell his kids, his father's money wasn't always green if that's what he's so afraid of. Just kidding, I won't actually do that to him, he's my brother.
I sit down on a chair. It's all so mentally exhausting, I just want everything to get back to normal, I hate suddan changes. I'm not mad at him, it's that—I'm upset I have to be alone. I hate being alone. It stresses me out—If what doc says is right, let's hypothetically accept it, I may have a tiny bit of abandoning issues, then what?
I don't care.
let's practice again, I stand back up.
"Hey, would you like to go on a ride with me- on my motorcycle of course-"
"Sure" Ayat says, I bump into the table when turning back. "Sorry—" The vase falls down, I try catching it but it makes me hit my foot on the side of the table. Ouch motherfuck-
"You were going to ask me right?" She smiles.
"Yeah if that's not awkward or anything." I say. "Of course It's not. We're friends." She says,
"Yeah." I smile back.
.
.
The wind feels warm yet slight cold touching our skin, We're both wearing helmets, she's sitting behind me. Being my backpack. She's blushing,
I can relate, my heart is something like that right now. Doc said she's proud of my growth. It feels nice knowing you're growing and not falling behind.
We stop at red singal.
"You still owe me a cottage candy." I say, It took her a second to remember.
"buy me one, and when I start my own business, I'll pay you back."
"Oh yes! Let's get it."
We go to the exact same spot where we went seven years ago.
Everything's the same yet so different.
"I remember trying ramen for the first time here." She walks to that old cotton candy stall. The old man is still very much healthy. Honestly—not to sound not manly but seeing him, leaves me in awe.
"One please." She takes out her wallet and pays the man. "It's on the house, take it free" He smiles.
"Looks like you're going to have to pay me back in another way." I wink at the man, and we move.
"Yum!" She takes a bite off of her candy, she bought pink and I got the blue one.
"Yours look more fun" I in a sudden move, take a bite out of her candy learning in a bit, our cheekbones almost touched, when I move back and our eyes met in a hesitate stare, we stayed like that for a moment, her pupils grow startle and tender, and I'm tempted to look down at her sugary lips.
What is wrong with me?
She releases a deep sigh, clearing her throat, awkwardly scoffing, and I get the singal to move all the way back, I take a step backwards.
"It's good?" She smiles— as she licks her lips.
Fuck.
I clear my throat, scoffing. "Yeah" my voice bearly above a whisper.
"So, where do you want to go now?" She says, her eyes sparkle.
"Have you eaten already? I have a thing planned out." A slow, enigmatic smile spread across my face.
"What? I thought we were just walking around." Her eyebrows pulled down in suspicious.
"No, I've booked a table at a sea Food place up in the mall."
"But you hate sea food?"
"I've grown to like them." I smile.
I absolutely hate sea food. Even the smell makes me want to vomit, but she said sea food makes her happy— so that's the only thing I could think of when I thought of returning her favour.
Only because she took care of me when I fell sick.
"No its okay, you should canc-"
I don't let her finish, I grab her hand and made her walk with me to my bike. "Sush sush sush"
I park my heavy-bike in the basement parking lot of the mall. "We're here." After turning off the engin, I shift my weight onto my feet, keeping my knee slightly bent, and I push myself up, standing. "Help me get up." She gives me her hand.
"Bro how is it that you never grew?" I say, examining her.
"Come on Sam, is that suppose to be funny?"
I laugh at my own joke.
"How about you still being single? Women aren't showing interest in you?" She makes a pouty face.
"At least I'm tall."
"Yet single."
"Dude you're the one to speak." I say.
"Well your hair looks like you haven't washed them since 1997." She says.
"Oh yeah? Well you look like a-" My sentence gets cut mid way as she smacks my helmet down. I'm startled, my eyes widens, looking at her. "Bro what was that!?"
She starts laughing. "You were annoying me."
"Me?" She's the one annoying me.
"You started it-"
I don't let her speak, I bump my fist on her helmet gently but enough to startle her.
"Sam!" She scowls. "That's rude."
"You smacked me first." I cross my arms.
"Well you called me short first!"
"I didn't say it directly though."
"As if that made a difference." She says. I give her my hand and pull her up.
"So where is this place?" She walks.
"On the top floor" I say.
"Sam why do you mess with me? Do you have any idea that I can box!" She says in a mock-serious tone. I turn to her. She began to jab and weave, her little arms moving in a fluid motion as she fake boxed in the air. I tilt my head a bit, raising my eyebrows in confusion, and a sudden scoff escaped my lips.
Ayat's eyes sparkled with amusement as she struck a pose, her fists still clenched. "What, you think I'm stupid for boxing the air?" She teasingly says, grinning.
"No, I think you're stupid in general." I chuckle to myself.
"You're just saying that because your ego is hurting" She blows a stain of hair off her face.
"I shouldn't fluid your arrogance but your hand position is the wrong way up." I say, as I walk pass her.
"What do you mean?" She quickly follows me. "I saw it in TV, that's how they do it." We're walking side by side.
"Nope." I keep walking.
"You're just saying that because you know I'm good."
I stop walking, and turned to face her. "Alright, give me your best."
"What?" Her eyes widens.
"Show me what you've got."
She threw a punch, aiming for my stomach. I blocked the punch, then countered with a playful tap on Ayat's nose. "This is your best?" I raise my brow.
"I was just warming up." She rubs her elbow.
"You've got to keep your hands up, your elbows close, and your weight evenly distributed." I say, as I move close to her, I place my hand on her elbow, while I hold her arm with my other hand from beneath. "When you punch, fold it this way." I rotate her arm slightly up.
Ayat giggles and throws a sloppy punch, which I easily dodged. Her dusty brown ponytail bounces with the movement.
"See?" My eyes crinkled at the corners as I smile. "That's how it goes dude." I say, fist bumping her arm.
"Look what you're leaving behind.." she says.
I turn my head back and she dangles my keys in the air.
"I didn't know you were a theif!?" I fake gasp.
"Theif I wouldn't say. stealthy, yes." She raises her head High.
"Okay play time is over, give it back." I mockingly say.
"Its yours, have it." But She tries to make it out of my reach when I try to take it. "Oh Ayat." I sigh, She tries to run away but before she could, I grab her arm, twist it, and spin her around. Her whole body rotates, and her hips swing, clashing against my lower abdomen. Her arm remains pinned behind her back, still in my grip, as her back presses against my chest. My chest heaving, shivers run down my sleeve. And I whisper in her ear.
"I'm sharper— quicker."
I lose my grip, letting her go. But she's just so full of energy today. "Well I'm intellectual." She tries to escape and we clash, our hands intertwining as we engaged in a mock-wrestling match. She laughs. We stumble and spun, our footsteps echoing off the surrounding cars. Ayat squeals, giggles and I manage to grab Ayat's wrists with my single hand, holding her at bay and I pin her against a nearby car, I release her wrists, her back clashes onto the steel, and I press my free hand against the car at her side, blocking her escape route. her hands press against my shoulders, and the tip of our noses nearly touched. Our eyes locked and a sudden whiff of air makes me feel different..
For a moment we both stared at each other.
How come I never noticed— her eyes.. are so beautiful.
She quickly, nervously pushes me, laughing. "Okay boss you won." She creases her hair.
Is it only me or did we both felt a weird sensation? I blink and join her laughter.
"Let's go now." All of a sudden, she isn't looking at me. I want to ask her If she's okay but I shouldn't invade.
"Ayat." I call her generously.
"Yeah?" She takes a step forward.
"It's so good to have you back buddy." I say, caressing her head. She simply nods.
"I know I was a bit weird, formal perhaps, when we went grocery shopping, but that is only because I didn't know how to act after three year of no contact." I say.
"I know." She smiles, but a spread of sadness appears in her eyes. "When are you going back?"
"I don't know, in a day or two." I say.
"I'm hungry, let's go, come on now." She avoids what I said and pulls my arm to make me hurry. "Jesus Ayat." I laugh.
"I'll order" Ayat says, while we take our seats at a table near corner. This sea food place is in the top floor of our central city mall. Its new around here, which is why I had to pay a visit. It has huge glass windows, showing the sea view down.
I like this place, but the smell is killing me.
"Are you sure you want to eat here?" She asks for the billionth time again.
"Yes sweetheart, I'm sure." I pour her some water. She clearly doesn't like it when I call her that. But I like it, it Fits her. Besides I remember her loving those heart shaped hard candies which I named her after.
"What can I get you?" She asks gently.
"Let's order together."
"You reserved the seats, so let me I'll order." She says,
"Okay, what are you getting?" I ask.
"I'll have some Shrimp Scampi Linguine pasta with a side of Crab cakes."
Shrimp scampi- what? How does she even pronounce that! am I— that uneducated? Or dumb?
"What do you want, hurry." Why is she in a rush.
"I don't know." I stroke my arm.
She passes me the menu. "Here, look for yourself."
I try to read what the dishes are called, but technically I can't even read here now because they're too difficult. The only thing I can read is grilled—octopus!? What the? who on earth eats an octopus?! If I'm not wrong, octopus have like fiveteen legs! Ah uh I know because Ursula from the little mermaid have— God no! It's her? I can't eat her! she is hot though, but that doesn't mean I can eat her! That's obnoxious!
There's also lobster, and as phoebe buffay has said, everyone finds their lobster. Maybe I can be someone's lobster someday. plus I don't want to sound stupid and that's the only thing I can actually pronounce.
"Get me a Lobster please." I'm so nervous, I got it wrong—right? Right?!
"Sam are you sure you'll eat a whole Lobster when you can't even look at a fish?"
Will you be my lobster?
"Yeah I will."
"That's it?" She says. I nod.
"I don't like I'm making you order." I say,
"Sam I like ordering, I like talking!"
"Here, this is my card." I hand it to her.
"It's on me."
I give her a fake laugh. "You really think, I'd let you pay?"
"Well you booked the table, it's only fair, I pay for our meal."
"You're not paying Ayat, I stand up and gave cashier my card."
"Sam?!" She follows me.
"Whatever this young lady orders, bill it from this card."
"Oh God Sam." She frowns.
"By all mean, you just sit still, enjoy your food sweetheart." I poke her nose. She rolls her eyes and placed our order.
But on a second note— what even is a Lobster? I haven't seen a cooked one before. We get back to our table.
"So, have you been here before?" Ayat starts small talk.
"Nope, never have."
"Then how come you were sure I'd like this place?" She scrunches up her nose.
"Because you like sea food." I smile.
"Anyway, less about the food, more about you. How have you been?" She asks me. After Victor called for someone who got shot, I had to leave. I don't know how many days it's been since I last visited. I brought a specific kind of brownies for Ifan yesterday, that are only available there.
"I've been fine." I force a smile. "Ayat"
"Yes?"
"When I was at your place, did I say something— weird or unreal?" I fidget with my fingers, my cheeks flush with discomfort.
She took a minute to answer. "None that can I recall." She smiles.
"Look, I'm sorry— I shouldn't have burdened you."
"Sam we're over that, I liked being there for you. Don't feel embarrassed." She puts her hand on mine.
"Alright then." I say, sarcasticly.
"Sam."
"Yeah"
"You asked me about my ex, can I ask about yours?" She divides her focus half way out the window.
"I never really had any serious relationships, but one." I release a little sigh.
"You really want know? What'd you do with that knowledge." I nervously laugh.
"Isn't this dinner about you returning my favour?" She folds her arm.
"Pffft, I guess I'll have to answer." I say,
She gives me her full attention.
"I dated a girl for six to seven months." I say, she's looking at me with constant attention. "What happend then?"
"I— uhm caught her cheating."
"What? Oh-"
This is awkward.
"It's okay though, I got over it, it's not like that was the worst thing that ever happened to me."
"Still— It's hard, I'm sorry" She gives me a 'just to be nice' smile.
"I caught her, in my house— with another man" I say, iching my neck.
"In your house?" Her eyes widens.
"Yeah, I was out the whole day," For a mission. "And when I came back—" I sigh. She was sleeping with fucking Victor.
"I don't think she ever felt bad for it." I say.
"That's horrible Sam, you deserve better."
"I don't know." I click my tongue.
"I'm serious."
"You deserve better, too." I say back, she's been through a bad relation herself, I get how she must feel, which is why she's being sentimental with me.
"Do you believe in the one? She asks.
"I never really think about scenarios like these."
"Right.." I can see she's disappointed.
"But I do believe, Someone solid, correct person must be out there waiting for you."
"Where?" She asks.
"Somewhere"
"Could that someone be in a sea food place right now?" She laughs.
"I don't know, all I know is you deserve better."
"Do I deserve you?"
Silent spreads around us.
What the..
WHAT?!
"Wait—" I blink twice.
She rushes her words. "I thought I said that in my head, I'm sorry." She pardons. But that won't change how I'm— How I'm stunned.
Did she just said, does she deserves me? She deserves more than me! One hundred percent more than me, why would she say that?
I don't— I don't think, she could be interested romanticly in me?
This is awfully awkward.
I have never really ever thought of her as a proper woman, let along in a romantic sort.
It was always, either Ifan's sister, or maniac Ayat, who was always mean to me.
"What I meant was, Do I deserve you giving me advice." She changes the subject as quick as she could. Every time I feel like I should say something, it just becomes really awkward. She switched her context in little to no time. Or am I getting deep into it and she really didn't mean it that way?
I wish I didn't hear her say that,
Because she's a completely different person to me now—
It's like I broke out of a bubble—
Don't get me wrong, I'm fluttered as one must be, but— everything feels different now. She doesn't look her same way but instead I only see a very gorgeous woman. with her turtle neck dark brown tee, and her hair in a messy ponytail.
Why haven't I ever looked at her? In her eyes?— Now that I see where I want to drown.
But Its sinful— I can't look at her with this intention, she's Ifan's sister, we grew up together, I respect Ifan, he'd think I was always keeping a bad eye on her,
Which is so not true.
"Our order's ready." She stands up, to bring it to our table. Because I'm stunned— too stiff to understand anything.
This awkward atmosphere has got to go.
"My pasta and your lobster." She presents our food- and OH MY LORD- is that what they call a lobster!?
It's goddammit alive!
I flinch at my food, making Ayat and the couple sitting behind us, startled and confused.
"Aahh ughh-" And— I catch them staring at me making weirdly scared noises. "Aahh uhh Yum!" I turn my voice into feeling delightness.
She sits down, and I stare at my food because there's no way people eat that shit for real. It looks disturbing. Ayat starts to eat in a very rich manner. And here I am, a dumbhead, I don't even know what these Utensils are called, I'm being cliche, aren't I? Damnnit.
"It's good, Is it not?" She asks. She's being casual now- Maybe she didn't mean what she said earlier after all. Maybe I'm overthinking, everything's good, normal. Don't worry Sam. Everything's cool cool cool cool cool.
"Yeah it's- something." I can pretty much puke at anytime now.
"Sam you look green." Ayat's confused, trust me, me too. I'm turning green because I feel sick to the stomach.
"You don't have to eat it." She says.
"But we paid for it." I say.
"Parcel it, we'll give it to someone who may be in need for some food."
She's generous.
"You are an incredible human." I smile.
"Sam—why are you doing this?"
"I'm doing what?" Am I giving some wrong signal or what?
"Nevermind, add deserts, too." She leans back.
"Well met." I smile. "Anything else?" I ask.
"Yes, I want us to walk for a while after we finish."
"sure thing boss." My voice bearly came out.
The wind feels so nice, I didn't eat anything, whatsoever.
But desserts were enough to fill me up, it feels nice walking around in mid October.
"I think I should be staight up with you." She breaks our one hour walk of silence.
"About?" I may know about what.
"I like you Sam." She stops walking.
Ah
Goddammit my caution essence!
I feel the urge to clear up whatever that is going inside her head. I think I owe her that much.
"Look Ayat, you're a very lovable person, but I am.. uh not looking for— anyone. I just got out of a terrible relationship." I say calmly.
"Yeah, I get it." She gives me a very strange but nice smile,
Damn,
She really is mature than us.
"I feel terrible."
"Don't feel that way, I don't." She smacks her lips. "Besides, I'm processing, being rejected by Sam Yilmaz wasn't on my bingo card for this year." She softy laughs.
I'm impressed. I really am.
But bingo is my thing-
Plus, What even is a bingo card?
Weird city people talk.
"Bro, look at me!? Who can ever reject you, I mean look at you." I praise her by acting like a paparazi fan girl photographer. I don't want things to get awkward between us. We're finally where we wanted to be, all three of us. I can't ruin it now. Besides I will be visiting more often now for Ifan.
She giggles and scrunches up her nose.
"I'll have to agree with you on that one." She flips her hair, she raised herself to be silly and smart, secure and confident.
She probably thinks I'm such a jerk, and I'll let her think that, I'm in too deep to turn back now, so I'd rather have her think I'm a jerk than to force my shit upon her.
I'm not romenticly into her.
I have to figure out what Jawad meant by 'we' what he's after, if it's me, who he wants to kill? Is it the same person who planted a blast in my father's car and burned my mother alive, if so- why leave me out? Why not kill me when he had tha chance to after attacking my mother- why let me live for this long and come for me now? I have so much shit to deal with, I can't let her be a weakness, a threat. And now that I think about it- it was a wrong move to bring her here in the first place. I can't risk it.
"I'm worried about you Sam, ever since you came home that night-"
I know she is- but I can't tell her what happened, in order to not get her involved, I have to keep everything away from her.
"Ayat, can we please not go there." I hate not being nice to her.
"Yeah, I'm sorry"
"No, no, I'm sorry.. It's that uhm- when you ask me something— I'm naturally intimated to answer. You're a sweetheart, makes me want to spill everything out. But some words are better off without saying. Better not said." Better hidden.
"I understand."
"Just so we're clear- everything's good between us right?" I ask in hitched.
"Yeah of course, no hard feelings." She fist bumps my elbow.
"So.. what's new." I say.
"I'm planning on giving Ifan a human size bear for Christmas." She laughs and snorts at her own idea.
"why a bear?" I laugh.
"Because, It reminds me of him—" Ayat's sentence gets interpreted when a man passing by knocked into her— My hands immediately clenched into a fist.
In a moment of second I could see how Ayat got reminded of uncle— She flinched as if that man would hit her, and it pains my heart. Because even though we survived that house, part of that stuck to us forever.
"Watch where you're going?! are you fucking blind or what!?" I push that man away, I even took a step further with the intention of punching that jaw of his, but Ayat got in-between. "Sam just let it go please." Her eyes roved between us, My hand was clenched to his collars. I let it go, But just because she was getting nervous otherwise my blood is fucking boiling. She pulls me aside and that man child leaves in a hurry, scared.
"Sam, you're shivering?"
I never wanted her to notice how anger makes me want to throw up. "It's okay sweetheart, really." I cup her cheek. But I can't. I don't know what triggers me more. Me not being able to protect her or her seeing the awful human I am inside. This is exactly why I don't want to get involved with her. I'm a disaster. She cares about people.. and I ruin them.
A thousand reasons not to get near her.
On our way back home, I kept shivering in disgust, I should've punched him, I can't contam my emotions, when I do I usually don't sleep for days after, I need it to get out of my system.
A sudden break comes up and my bike gets a bit bumpy, She clashes onto me, and spreads her arms around my waist-
A wisp of butterflies in my stomach cooled down my anger, my cheeks tend to be blushing under my helmet. But why?
What.
Is.
Happening—
To me?
I'm blushing to Ayat's touch?
For the record— I'm getting shy over Ayat's touch?!
Her– touch?!
Thank God I'm wearing a helmet, It's a cover for sure. "Are you okay back there?" I ask. The wind is too loud to hear what she's saying. "I'm alright!" her hand placemmet get closer to my lower abdomen unintentionally. I gulp Hard,
Can she listen to my heartbeat? because I certainly can.
I drop her at her house safely.
"I had fun." She says, standing outside of her house door.
"I'm glad."
I don't think we should meet like this again.
Not before finding the culprit.
"Goodnight." She goes inside, closing the door behind her.
What a long day, I sigh.
. . . .
"Ifan" I open his apartment's door- when I see the lock was already tear apart- My heart rate dropped.
"Ifan!?" I enter inside, I call him again, this time my voice gets a bit more impulsive.
"Ifan!!?"
I ring his mobile.
Beep
Beep
Beep
"Hello?" This isn't his voice- it's firm, cold and nonchalant.
It's victor— My moblie slips out of my hand.
"Ifan's— hello? Sam?"
My moblie stayed on the ground— on speaker.
I burst through the main gate, after a three hour drive which turned into one and half hour with the speed I came in.
I stormed, banged the door close behind me, as I enter in his office.
"Where IS HE!?" I shout as loud as I had the power to. "Don't worr-" Before Victor could even complete his sentence, I grasp his collars in a fist too tight.
"Who the fuck gave you the power to touch him!? WHO?" I push him back harshly and hard.
"He's not here."
"What?"
"I said he is not here, what makes you think that he is?"
"You answered his call, How?" I'm still clenching his shirt. He calmly removes my hand and runs a hand through his shirt.
"While you were on bed rest, we got suspicious of someone keeping an eye on Ifan, tracing his calls, and as he's already no part of us anymore, we met and I switched his sim card, I was about to destory it when you called. Though I would say I was confused seeing your name, I thought you two would've discussed it by now, I guess not."
What?
I'm penting so hard.
When did all of this happend?
"You got suspicious of who?"
"It can either be Erdoğans, Erçel, or the hand of police."
"Police!?"
"Yes, we assumed as he lives in the city now, they may have gotten a lead on him."
"I thought police couldn't do anything to Faisal?"
"Without proof, they can't— with evidence to prove, they can."
"How did police got suspicious of Ifan?"
"We don't know, which is why Faisal asked me for Ifan's apartment's camera access, for his safety, even though he isn't a member of us, Mr Faisal care about his protection because of you, he likes you more than any of us, which makes me hate you."
They got to Ifan its a matter of time before they reach to Ayat, God knows what more information they have on us.
"So we need to be more careful now." I say, out of breath.
"Yes."
"Oh- okay."
"Before jumping to conclusions, make sure to ask first, you just wasted your petrol." He strictly says.
"Hand me 60 bucks, I'll pay you back." I rub my hands, looking everywhere but at him.
"You never do." He's so serious, all the time.
"Oh for fuck's sake Victor, just give me, promise I'll give it back to you."
He with literal no expression hands me 50 cash.
"I said 60, can you not hear? Do you want ear wax or something? Fucking crackhead." I admit, I treat him awfully, it's fun.
"Fucking children." He walks away.
"You're not so old yourself." I yell behind him, Ugh what a dick.
Should I call Ifan?
Why wouldn't he tell me all of this before, I'm upset with him now, he's excluding me out of his life, I won't lie I'm awfully sad about it.
more than before.
But on a serious note though—
How did police get a hutch on Ifan being in the underworld-
Something's not right..
Someone is selling us..
I already had a lot on my plate, I must well add this on the list, too.
Damnit.