What nonsense was this old man spouting now?
After listening to Tsukishiro's words, Hikigaya nearly started questioning his life choices.
Wasn't he just an ordinary student?What did the Food Safety Bureau have to do with him?If he had the ability to handle such matters, he wouldn't be sitting here listening to Tsukishiro prattle on about them.
However, Hikigaya also understood that this old schemer wasn't the type to talk nonsense without a purpose.
Suppressing his irritation, he asked, "Acting Chairman Tsukishiro, I don't quite understand what you're getting at. This doesn't seem like a problem I'm qualified to deal with."
"You don't seem surprised by what Sakayanagi has done," Tsukishiro replied, ignoring Hikigaya's question entirely.
"Well… it does feel like something she'd do," Hikigaya admitted.
Although the Advanced Nurturing High School prohibited students from contacting the outside world, there were far too many loopholes in that rule.
Setting aside the fact that Sakayanagi was the daughter of the former chairman, even if she were just an ordinary student, contacting the outside world wouldn't be a significant challenge.
The school's preventive measures against external contact were nothing more than preinstalled parental controls on the free phones they handed out. In other words, if someone managed to acquire a properly functioning phone, the rule would become meaningless.
Of course, such phones weren't available for sale within the school, nor were they accessible through online shopping.But people often overlooked the numerous employees working in the shopping district.
All it would take was bribing one of them to smuggle a phone in. While ordinary students might find this difficult, Sakayanagi had both wealth and power.
Plenty of people would be willing to take the risk of losing their jobs to curry favor with her.
Damn rich people.
As this thought crossed Hikigaya's mind, his mood soured further. He couldn't resist a sarcastic jab.
"Acting Chairman Tsukishiro, if you're so certain it was Sakayanagi who contacted the Food Safety Bureau, doesn't that mean she's violated school regulations? Why not use that as an excuse and expel her outright?"
"Expelling her wouldn't resolve the current problem, and besides, the report was made anonymously," Tsukishiro replied pragmatically.
"Then what basis do you have for claiming it was Sakayanagi? Maybe you should confirm the facts before dragging me into this?"
"Don't play dumb. You know exactly what I mean."
Tsukishiro shook his head, clearly dissatisfied with Hikigaya's attitude.
"I'm not playing dumb. I've never been particularly smart to begin with," Hikigaya countered bluntly. "Besides, if they want to investigate, let them investigate. The incident happened ages ago. There's no way any of the food or drinks from that karaoke session are still around, so they won't find any evidence."
Even if some remnants had been preserved, unless they were tested on the spot, no one could rule out the possibility of laxatives being added afterward.
Moreover, the private rooms in the karaoke venue didn't have surveillance cameras. There was no way to capture Class C students in the act of tampering with the food.
Even if a record of laxative purchases by a Class C student were discovered, they could easily claim it was for personal use due to constipation.
Ah, I'm even coming up with excuses for that "Dragon Boy."
Hikigaya did not doubt that if a disciplinary hearing were called, Ryuen would play this angle.
Someone like Ichinose, for example, might be overwhelmed and forced to swallow the bitter pill.
But Sakayanagi wasn't someone to be trifled with.
That sly little fox had likely anticipated Ryuen's underhanded tactics and chosen to bypass the Student Council entirely, going straight for a more decisive option.
Reporting the incident to the Food Safety Bureau… this wasn't a move an average student could pull off.
"Hikigaya-kun, the issue now isn't evidence," Tsukishiro said with a tinge of exasperation. This old fox was genuinely troubled by the situation.
"Even if Sakayanagi has no solid evidence, this matter won't just blow over so easily."
"Hmm… I think I get it now," Hikigaya said, contemplating the situation. "In other words, even though our dear Miss Sakayanagi lacks any proof, she's just as good at exploiting her privileges as you are. She can cause trouble for others without playing by the rules, right?"
"Your words are as blunt as ever," Tsukishiro remarked, though he didn't seem offended. He smiled, as if finding Hikigaya's candor amusing.
At its core, that was exactly the issue. If an ordinary person made an anonymous report, the authorities might send someone to check things out, but if they found no violations, the matter would be dropped.
Most cases ended there.
But with Sakayanagi, it was different. Her family's influence ensured that the matter wouldn't be so easily dismissed.
Adding to the issue, several Class B students had indeed fallen ill. Using this as justification, the Food Safety Bureau began investigating the karaoke venue, leaving little room for anyone to object.
Frequent inspections—minor ones every three days, major ones every five—would inevitably cripple the venue's business.
The karaoke establishment might struggle to deal with these investigations, but as a partner of the school, they'd naturally demand that the school take responsibility.
And so, the pressure landed squarely on Tsukishiro—or rather, on Hikigaya.
How utterly tiresome.
"Honestly, I'm curious. Are you, the Acting Chairman, seriously incapable of dealing with a mere Sakayanagi brat?"
The more Hikigaya thought about it, the more irritated he became. He didn't want to get involved in this mess at all.
He'd initially assumed Sakayanagi had simply found some evidence. Who could've guessed she'd complicate matters like this? Truly making trouble out of nothing.
"Even if you can't find a way to pin her down, surely there are other solutions?"
It wasn't so much advice as Hikigaya's way of throwing shade at Tsukishiro.
After all, a teacher's authority over students typically stemmed from their ability to enforce punishments like suspension or expulsion.
But if a student didn't care about such consequences, or had already accepted the likelihood of expulsion, the teacher's authority became meaningless.
That was precisely Sakayanagi's current position. The school wanted to sweep the karaoke incident under the rug, but that meant fulfilling her demands. If they didn't, she'd likely sabotage the exam and ensure her expulsion.
Threats held no power here.
The greatest deterrence of a nuclear weapon lay in its potential use, not its actual deployment.
Tsukishiro shook his head. "I could suppress this matter, but… it wouldn't be worth the cost. You understand what I mean, don't you?"
"Heh."
Hikigaya didn't reply. Instead, he let out a low chuckle.
Oh, he understood all right.
Just like how he hadn't wanted to hire Kiryuuin during the third-year exam, reasoning it wasn't his problem, Tsukishiro didn't want to spend his resources resolving this issue.
He was just a temporary manager of the Advanced Nurturing High School and could be reassigned at any moment.
Why would he dip into his pocket to deal with this?
Which was why Hikigaya, as a "cost-effective" option, had been chosen instead.
The more he thought about it, the more annoyed he became.
"So after all this, you just want me to convince Sakayanagi and Ryuen to reach a compromise?" Hikigaya said, his expression dark. "Setting aside the slim chances of success, why me? There are other people in the Student Council, aren't there? Excluding the third-years, Katsuragi-no—no, Ichinose—could handle it."
Though Katsuragi was a fair individual, as a Class B student, he'd likely want to avoid the appearance of favoritism.
Ichinose had no issues—her reputation alone was enough to earn anyone's trust.Even cunning individuals like Sakayanagi and Ryuuen had to begrudgingly admit this fact.
Tsukishiro narrowed his eyes, his expression a mix of amusement and skepticism."If that's what you think, Hikigaya-kun, I won't object. Letting Ichinose-san give it a try doesn't cost anything, though I do wonder if she can handle it."
"...Forget it," Hikigaya replied after a pause, realizing how implausible it sounded when said aloud.
Ryuuen and Sakayanagi were akin to a tiger and a dragon… no, a more accurate analogy would be a snake and a cat.
Caught between them, Ichinose was, at best, a hamster. No matter how you looked at it, she'd only end up as prey.
"Ha, well then, good luck with that," Tsukishiro said, his grin unfazed and full of feigned politeness. From his confident demeanor, it was clear he knew Hikigaya couldn't refuse him.
"...If there's nothing else, I'll be on my way," Hikigaya muttered reluctantly.
Though he had no desire to take on the task, he had no choice. After all, he'd already accepted Tsukishiro's money—albeit under coercion.
But what was with that smug expression? Did being the acting chairman give Tsukishiro the right to do whatever he pleased? Hikigaya couldn't stand that face any longer.
He stood abruptly, ready to leave before his irritation boiled over. The last time he'd been this annoyed was earlier that morning when Kiriyuin-senpai dared to ask for a White Day gift.
Why were there so many shameless people in this school?
"Ah, by the way…"
Just as he stepped out of the reception room, a sly idea popped into Hikigaya's head.
"Acting Chairman Tsukishiro, I just thought of something interesting," he said, turning back with a smirk designed to irritate.
"Why not let Sakayanagi escalate this incident further? Push it to its absolute limits—make it so chaotic that it flips the school on its head. Who knows? That might even work in your favor."
"In my favor? I'm not sure I understand," Tsukishiro said, tilting his head in mock confusion.
"Your goal in coming to this school is to make Ayanokouji drop out, isn't it? But because of certain constraints, you've been unable to act openly."
Even as he spoke, Hikigaya couldn't help but suppress a laugh.
"If that's the case, why not take advantage of this opportunity? An incident involving food poisoning could justify drastic measures—closing the school temporarily, for example. No one would blame you for prioritizing the students' safety."
Tsukishiro's smile didn't falter, though a hint of hesitation crept into his tone.
"What exactly are you suggesting?"
"You're sharp. I'm sure you've figured it out." Hikigaya smiled knowingly.
"If the school shuts down, the students would have to return home. Without the protection of this environment, someone like Ayanokouji… well, it wouldn't be so easy for him to escape, would it?"
"Interesting idea," Tsukishiro said, shaking his head lightly. "But this school has no precedent for such measures."
"No precedent?" Hikigaya chuckled at the response, "By that logic, if there were a fire, an earthquake, or even a meteor strike, we'd still be required to stay put? Or is food safety just not a priority here?"
"Class B students merely experienced some stomach issues," Tsukishiro replied calmly.
"Oh, 'merely,' you say? That's not something an educator should brush off so lightly."
It took all of Hikigaya's restraint not to call out the blatant lies hidden behind Tsukishiro's polite facade.
A normal chairman might want to downplay the incident to minimize the school's negative exposure. But Tsukishiro was merely a temporary appointee, with his true goal being to retrieve the institution's so-called "masterpiece." In other words, he had little attachment to what happened to the school.
All he cared about was appeasing his superiors.
Still, Hikigaya found it hard to believe that Tsukishiro's motivations were purely professional.
Perhaps the man felt some level of sympathy for Ayanokouji, the experimental product of the White Room. Or maybe Tsukishiro never intended to make Ayanokouji drop out at all, and all his actions were part of a grand deception.
"Society doesn't operate as simply as you make it out to be, Hikigaya-kun," Tsukishiro said with a smile. "As the acting chairman, I can't overturn Advanced Nurturing High's traditions. The teachers would never agree to it."
"...Fine. Forget I said anything," Hikigaya replied, shrugging off the conversation.
In truth, Tsukishiro's excuse lacked credibility. After all, despite opposition from teachers, the class vote exam had been implemented without issue. With a solid rationale like student safety, it was absurd to think they couldn't take action now.
Still, the notion that Tsukishiro might sympathize with Ayanokouji intrigued Hikigaya. Was the man capable of such sentiment?
"You'd be better off not overthinking this," Tsukishiro advised, his smile unchanging, "Just focus on completing the tasks I assign you and graduating from Class A. Everything else is unnecessary, don't you think?"
"If I could, I'd prefer you never assign me anything at all," Hikigaya muttered under his breath before finally leaving the room.
Even as he walked away, he couldn't stop himself from analyzing the hidden meanings behind others' words. It was a bad habit—one that often led to trouble.
Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.
"Ugh, whatever," Hikigaya sighed.
He had more pressing matters to deal with—like how to handle those two nuisances.