Faced with the audacious shamelessness of this useless senpai, the faint warmth that Hikigaya had felt earlier instantly evaporated.
He swatted Kiryuuin Fuuka's hand away and replied irritably, "Senpai, do you even know what White Day is?"
"Isn't it just a day when men give gifts to women?"
"It's not!"
Hikigaya felt his blood pressure rise at her self-righteous tone. Could she not paint all men as walking ATMs?
Though he couldn't speak for everyone else, he—Hikigaya Hachiman—would never stoop to such a low!
"Listen carefully, Senpai. On White Day, the gifts given are returns. Only the girls who gave chocolate on Valentine's Day are entitled to receive something in return. There's no such thing as a free gift-giving day."
"Oh, I see now," Kiryuuin said, nodding slightly, as if genuinely learning this for the first time.
"Besides," Hikigaya added sharply, "you didn't even give me any chocolate on Valentine's Day."
"Didn't I?" Kiryuuin tilted her head thoughtfully.
"You didn't."
"Why? Were you hoping for my chocolate?" Kiryuuin's lips curled into an amused smirk. "You are a greedy man. Haven't you received enough already?"
"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm thankful you didn't. It saved me the expense," Hikigaya deadpanned.
Kiryuuin wagged her finger in mock disapproval. "Tsk tsk, Hachiman. Saying something like that to a cute girl? That's a deduction in charm points."
"Sure, sure. Thanks for the advice," Hikigaya replied with exaggerated politeness, too tired to point out her self-proclaimed "cuteness." Admittedly, she was cute on the outside, but personality mattered far more.
"Tsk, tsk. Your attitude toward girls is becoming increasingly casual," Kiryuuin said, rubbing her chin as if reminiscing. "Is it because all kinds of girls are showing interest in you now? Are you becoming a smooth operator? Hah, the next step is becoming a full-blown player."
"…Senpai, you're unusually talkative today."
"Am I? I'm just feeling a little sentimental, that's all," Kiryuuin said nonchalantly, entirely unaware—or uncaring—of the mood.
"By the way, that girl just now was Ichinose Honami, wasn't she? The one you turned down?"
"…"
See? She's doing this on purpose.
"Don't you think it's you who's out of line, Senpai? Why even bring that up?" Hikigaya rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. Talking to Kiryuuin was always mentally exhausting.
"What's the big deal?" Kiryuuin said, shrugging as if imparting sage wisdom. "You dumped her, not the other way around. These things happen. You'll get used to it. Besides, weren't you two just chatting happily earlier? That means everything's fine now."
…That was considered "happily chatting"?
Hikigaya wisely chose to ignore her nonsensical commentary, but Kiryuuin was relentless. She sighed dramatically. "That girl's pretty amazing, though. Not only did she handle rejection with ease, but she even shaved her head during a test because of someone she liked. You're quite the heartless man, Hachiman."
"…Please stop making things up. Those two events are entirely unrelated."
Annoyed, Hikigaya decided to steer the conversation elsewhere. "I'm curious, Senpai. You don't exactly have close friends, so how do you know all this?"
"Because it's all over the second-years. It's impossible not to know."
"I see…" Hikigaya clicked his tongue in frustration. Did this school have no respect for privacy? Though he had to admit he might've gone a bit overboard this time.
If he'd known the final dodgeball match would end in a loss, he might have reconsidered pushing so hard. A 7-0 outcome was too attention-grabbing… This was all Kōenji's fault!
Still, arguing with that guy was pointless, so Hikigaya decided to let it go.
"Anyway," Kiryuuin said, clapping a hand on Hikigaya's shoulder, "if even the girl doesn't mind, you, as a man, should stop trying to avoid it."
"I'm not avoiding anything," Hikigaya muttered, looking away.
"Heh. You know the truth yourself," Kiryuuin teased, her tone a mix of mocking and genuine concern. "Either way, just treat her normally next time, okay? Not every situation will have someone stepping in to save you."
"Our chances of running into each other aren't that high," Hikigaya countered.
"This is the part where you just say, 'Got it,' you arrogant kouhai," Kiryuuin said, flicking his forehead with a playful grin.
"All right, enough talk. Since you wanted a Valentine's Day gift so badly, how about I treat you to a parfait?"
"…Now?" Hikigaya blinked, caught off guard.
"Why not? Setting a future date is too much trouble," Kiryuuin said matter-of-factly.
"Fine… but you're paying, right?" He figured it was best to confirm. Kiryuuin was notorious for blowing through her points as soon as she got them.
"It's already mid-month. How's your wallet holding up, Senpai?"
"Don't worry about it. I can afford two parfaits. Besides, I'm used to surviving on grass for the rest of the month. No big deal," she said, puffing her chest out with pride.
Why on earth was that something to brag about?
"After hearing that, do you think I'd still have the nerve to accept?" Hikigaya sighed.
Not that he minded treating her while he was out running errands, but something about her reasoning felt unfair. He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being tricked somehow…
"So," he said, changing the subject, "the second-years haven't started their exams yet, have they? Do you get individual rewards, like we do for the first-years?"
"Apparently, but the details are vague," Kiryuuin replied, tapping her chin in thought. "From what I hear, the effort-to-reward ratio isn't worth it. I can't say I'm interested."
Typical Kiryuuin, always the lone wolf.
As she spoke, her gaze sharpened, studying Hikigaya with a knowing smirk.
"Kouhai, you're up to something, aren't you?"
Hikigaya remained unfazed. "Care to elaborate?"
"Oh? You're not even going to deny that you have ulterior motives?" Kiryuin's lips curved into a sly smile.
"But honestly, this isn't even a trick question. The recent incident involving Nagumo has spread throughout the entire school, and it just so happens to be closely tied to you. A bit of simple reasoning is enough to figure out what you're aiming for."
"Yeah, you got it right."
The reason Hikigaya brought up the rewards for the special exam was to lure Kiryuin into action, hoping to have her contribute to the class.
If Class 2-B managed to defeat Class 2-A in this exam, Nagumo—being the absent leader—would undoubtedly bear the brunt of the blame, further shaking his already precarious position.
However, this all hinged on Kiryuin's willingness to cooperate.
If she refused, relying on Tōyama alone... While he wasn't incompetent, it wasn't exactly a safe bet.
"Haha, I have to admit, I'm impressed you managed to corner Nagumo like this. He's always the one forcing others into suspension or even expulsion. Now it's his turn to experience the taste of defeat." Kiryuin's schadenfreude was as unrestrained as her laughter.
She was one of the few students in the second year who didn't owe anything to Nagumo and had no reason to tolerate his overbearing behavior. She also cared little for class rankings or alliances, so she had no qualms about seeing that smug face of his fall.
Unfortunately, this didn't mean she'd agree to Hikigaya's proposal.
"While I'd love to see Nagumo suffer, as I said earlier, this exam is just too much of a hassle. I really can't be bothered."
"Hmmm…"
At that moment, Hikigaya imagined three potential options floating before him.
Beg Kiryuin-senpai: "Please, for the sake of defeating the evil Nagumo, lend me your strength!"
Use reverse psychology: "Well, I guess even with Nagumo out of the picture, Kiryuin-senpai still doesn't dare to step up. You always act like you're the strongest, but maybe it's all just for show. How disappointing~"
Make an offer: "Fine, senpai. Let's skip the small talk. Name your price."
Somehow, none of these options felt particularly reliable.
The first and second were essentially pleading or goading her, but Kiryuin wasn't someone who would respond predictably to such tactics. Otherwise, Hikigaya wouldn't have mentally labeled her as troublesome senpai.
The third option, while the most practical, posed a different issue.
Why should Hikigaya, a first-year student, spend money to hire a fellow second-year Class 2-B student for the benefit of Class 2-B?
It just didn't make any sense.
He wasn't about to be a sucker for something so ridiculous.
"Well, if that's how it is, let's just forget it."
"Oh? Giving up so soon?" Kiryuin seemed mildly surprised.
"Can't be helped." Hikigaya shrugged helplessly. "I was looking forward to seeing the cool and capable Kiryuin-senpai in action, but if you're not interested, I won't force it."
"Cool and capable, huh…"
For some reason, Kiryuin's crimson eyes fixed on Hikigaya with a peculiar intensity. She didn't say a word for a moment, simply observing him.
Finally, she spoke in a soft, almost teasing tone.
"Tell me, Hikigaya-kun. Are you trying to confess to me right now?"
"...Eh?"
"Mhm, no need to explain yourself."
Kiryuin ignored Hikigaya's dumbfounded expression entirely. Folding her arms, she began nodding to herself and muttering under her breath.
"No wonder you rejected Ichinose. Turns out you've fallen for me instead… Sigh, what a sinful woman I am. But I can't help it; I'm just so breathtakingly beautiful."
"Senpai… Are you going to finish that parfait or not?"
After nearly an hour of conversation, Hikigaya came to a profound realization:
Taking Kiryuin seriously was a losing game.
After finishing the parfait at the café and dropping off a Valentine's return gift with Matsunaga to pass on to Haruno, Hikigaya parted ways with Kiryuin and headed back to his dorm.
He originally planned to accept Kiryuin's invitation to hit the gym, but a phone call interrupted his plans.
"Damn that Tsukishiro. It's Sunday! Couldn't this wait until Monday?" Hikigaya grumbled as he changed into his school uniform.
The school's rules prohibited students from entering the campus without wearing their uniforms, forcing him to make an unnecessary round trip.
"Honestly, what kind of school has so many pointless rules?"
Not long after, Hikigaya arrived at the teaching building, where Tsukishiro was already waiting in the reception room.
"Thank you for coming all this way. Please, take a seat, Hikigaya-kun."
"…As expected of the acting director. Even on a day off, you're still working," Hikigaya remarked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
The sight of Tsukishiro's ever-smiling face instantly put him in a foul mood.
"Well, apologies for calling you on a weekend," Tsukishiro said with an unbothered smile. "It's just that an urgent matter came up. By the way, today's White Day, isn't it? I hope I didn't interrupt a date with a lovely young lady."
"Cut the crap. What do you want?" Hikigaya's expression was sour.
"First, let me congratulate you. Your performance in the special exam was nothing short of extraordinary."
Tsukishiro gave a small clap.
"Your results exceeded all the teachers' expectations—even mine. But considering you were the one orchestrating things, it's not entirely surprising."
"…Are you saying there's something wrong with the results?" Hikigaya asked, his brows furrowed.
"Not at all. I just wanted to offer my congratulations."
Tsukishiro's words nearly made Hikigaya choke. Before he could respond, Tsukishiro continued, "The real problem lies with the outcomes of Classes 1-B and 1-C. You've probably heard about the conflict between them—each side is accusing the other."
"So? Can't the student council hold a hearing?" Hikigaya asked impatiently.
"Even without Nagumo, I can preside over the matter. No big deal."
However, Hikigaya's confidence quickly faded as Tsukishiro delivered his next words with a sly smile.
"Excellent. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Over the past few days, Sakayanagi has already contacted the Food Safety Bureau, accusing the school's KTV lounge of selling unsafe food that made her classmates ill. Hikigaya-kun, since you volunteered, I'll leave this matter in your capable hands."
"…Wait, what?"