Kazuki Mori had never been to a fancy banquet before.
So naturally, he showed up in the exact opposite of a noble outfit: a half-unbuttoned tunic, muddy boots, and a faint dusting of cookie crumbs around his collar.
"Is this the place?" he asked as he stared at the towering Renga Guildhall, now glowing with golden lanterns and streamers of violet silk.
A small crowd had already gathered, all dressed in clean robes or ceremonial armor. Everyone looked like they belonged in an epic fantasy portrait.
Kazuki looked like he'd wandered in looking for snacks.
"Kazuki-sama!" a voice called out.
He turned. A bubbly waitress ran up, holding a tray of pastries.
"I—I made these in your honor! They're called Mori Muffins!"
Kazuki blinked. "Do they explode?"
She blushed. "…Only sometimes."
Behind him, the doors burst open.
Flare the Philippine eagle soared overhead, releasing a loud, judgmental screech.
Yoru the King Cobra slithered through the crowd like a self-important ribbon.
Kiba the wolf prowled in with quiet menace and glowing eyes.
And…
Smile bounced through the doors with a smug wiggle, landed in the punch bowl, and refused to come out.
One of the nobles fainted. A knight drew his sword. A bard tried to compose a song on the spot and choked on his flute.
"Kazuki Mori has arrived," someone whispered.
"Wasn't he banned from the capital?"
"No, that was lifted. Apparently, the Queen's birthday flowers bloomed early thanks to him."
"He accidentally tamed a divine orchid," said another. "That thing was going to eat half the city."
Kazuki scratched his head. "I just watered it."
At the Head Table
Guildmaster Baron Yugeto stood and raised a glass.
"Tonight, we honor the heroes of Renga!"
Polite applause.
"We honor courage, discipline, and most of all—control."
Kazuki dropped a plate. The sound echoed.
The Baron twitched but continued.
"And so, we begin the Banquet Challenge!"
Waiters emerged with platters of enchanted food.
A glowing sign appeared in the air:
Banquet Challenge: Survive 3 Courses Without Accidentally Triggering a Magical Catastrophe.
Kazuki laughed. "That's weirdly specific."
Everyone stared.
Course One: Elemental Soup
Kazuki poked his bowl with a spoon. The broth shimmered with fire and water essences.
"Looks spicy," he muttered.
Then the spoon melted.
Smile peeked out of the punch bowl.
Yoru hissed a warning.
Too late.
The soup bowl exploded into a mini geyser of steam and lava.
Kazuki blinked, singed but unharmed. The Baron had ducked behind a table.
"…I swear I didn't do anything!" Kazuki yelled.
Flare was now perched on the chandelier, cawing victoriously.
Course Two: Illusion Dumplings
These were supposed to gently reveal your truest desires.
Kazuki bit one.
Suddenly, hundreds of illusory Smile clones filled the hall, all dancing in synchronized wiggles.
One noble shrieked. Another tried to fight one with a ladle.
Kazuki nodded solemnly. "…Yeah, this tracks."
The Baron fainted into a custard tart.
Course Three: The Final Spoon Duel
Just as things were settling down, a young chef from the Azure Guild stood dramatically.
"I challenge Kazuki Mori to the Ancient Spoon Duel! May mana guide the true master of flavor!"
Kazuki stood slowly.
He looked around.
"…Are you serious?"
The chef unsheathed a long silver spoon from a velvet case.
Kazuki reached into his pouch… and pulled out a slightly bent wooden spoon he used to stir oatmeal.
The duel began.
Kazuki dodged instinctively. His spoon deflected mana with a rubbery twang. He tripped, flipped, and accidentally launched his opponent into a cake tower.
He won.
Confetti cannons went off. Smile ate the leftover icing.
--------
Kazuki was declared "Honorary Guild Disaster Prevention Mascot."
The Baron wept quietly into his wine.
Flare stole a roast duck.
Yoru wore a bowtie.
Kiba brooded with an air of superiority.
Smile glowed faintly… then teleported for no reason, taking the tablecloth with him.