Chapter 3: The Green Swamp of Shenanigans – Or, "Captain America, Meet My Portable Pond."
[ SYSTEM MESSAGE: Congratulations! You've earned a Free Normal Draw for meeting Steve Rogers. ]
The days following the Chitauri invasion were a whirlwind of activity. Stark Tower, now rebranded (unofficially, of course, by Adam in his head) as "Avengers Tower," was a hub of rebuilding efforts and strategic meetings. Adam, much to his own surprise, had somehow wormed his way into the periphery. Tony, ever the pragmatist, had been intrigued by Adam's "migraine empathy" incident and the uncanny accuracy of his "warnings." He'd chalked it up to some unregistered mutation, a new breed of telepath, and had grudgingly offered Adam a temporary "consultant" gig. Adam, of course, had immediately tried to change the "STARK" tower letters to "STANK" using some cobbled-together tech he found in Tony's abandoned workshops – a prank that was swiftly foiled by JARVIS, who Adam now suspected had a very dry sense of humor.
"You know, for someone who claims to be from the future, your hacking skills are… rudimentary, at best," JARVIS had quipped, his voice a perfectly calm, polite tone as Adam wrestled with a holographic display.
"Hey, I'm a fan, not a certified network engineer, JARVIS! Give me a break. Besides, 'STANK' has a certain ring to it, don't you think? More relatable. More… aromatic."
Tony, when he found out, had merely raised an eyebrow. "You know, Stiels, if you're trying to impress me, trying to give my billion-dollar skyscraper a bad smell isn't exactly the way to go."
"It's about branding, Tony. It's an artistic statement! A commentary on the transient nature of corporate power!" Adam had countered, deadpan. Tony had just sighed and offered him a ridiculously overpriced smoothie.
Adam had also managed to "accidentally" hack Happy Hogan's phone, setting his ringtone to exclusively play "Baby Shark." Happy's increasingly frustrated attempts to silence his phone during important meetings had become a source of immense amusement for Adam, and a growing headache for everyone else. Tony, to his credit, had only laughed. "Stiels, you're a menace. I like it."
It was during one of these "consultant" meetings, a surprisingly dull affair about post-invasion logistics, that Adam had finally met Captain America. Steve Rogers was exactly as advertised: earnest, honorable, and radiating a powerful aura of "I don't understand half of what you people are talking about."
Adam had found himself instinctively trying to lighten the mood, cracking jokes that landed with varying degrees of success. Steve, bless his patriotic heart, would often just blink at him, a polite but utterly baffled expression on his face.
"So, Cap, what's your favorite meme? No, wait, don't answer that. You probably think 'meme' is short for 'memory of a historical event.' It's fine. We'll get you caught up. First order of business: TikTok dances," Adam had rambled, much to Natasha's quiet amusement and Tony's eye-rolling.
The system had, predictably, chimed in with a notification.
[ SYSTEM MESSAGE: Congratulations! You've earned a Free Normal Draw for meeting Steve Rogers. ]
"Another freebie! This gacha system is basically rewarding me for being socially awkward," Adam muttered under his breath, stepping away from the main meeting table to discreetly check his inventory. He tapped the "Draw" button, a flicker of anticipation running through him.
[ SYSTEM MESSAGE: [Normal Item] Go-Away-Green (Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes) acquired. Recipient: Adam. ]
Adam blinked. "Go-Away-Green? You mean… a portable swamp in a can? From the Weasley twins? The universe truly has a sense of humor. I guess I'm supposed to use this to redecorate someone's office, right? Maybe Fury's? I hear he likes a natural aesthetic."
He imagined the sheer chaos. Picture it: Nick Fury, in the middle of a top-secret briefing, surrounded by an impromptu, bubbling swamp. The possibilities were endless, and gloriously immature.
' This is going to be perfect for a bit of strategic chaos. Who needs a tactical nuke when you have a swamp in a can? Tony's office definitely needs more… wetlands. '
He quickly tucked the small, innocent-looking can into his inventory, which felt less like a physical space and more like a mental concept where things just… were. The thought of unleashing a miniature ecosystem on an unsuspecting Avenger brought a genuine smile to his face.
Later that day, he cornered Steve Rogers near the training room, clipboard in hand, pretending to be utterly serious.
"Captain," Adam began, striking a pose that was probably more 'frustrated substitute teacher' than 'consultant for world-saving operations.' "I've been reviewing your… catch-up list. And I've noticed a severe lack of… efficiency."
Steve, mid-workout, paused, a bead of sweat tracing a path down his temple. "Efficiency, Stiels?"
"Yes, efficiency! All this hand-writing! It's so… eighteenth-century. We're in the twenty-first century now, Cap! We have technology! We have… self-inking quills!" Adam pulled out a rather ornate, old-fashioned quill – not from his system, but something he'd found in a dusty antique shop in the village, purely for this moment – and with a flourish, demonstrated its self-inking capabilities by writing "Efficiency!" on a scrap of paper. "See? No more messy inkwells! No more awkward pauses! Just pure, unadulterated writing bliss!"
Steve stared at the quill, then at Adam, then back at the quill. A faint, almost imperceptible smile touched his lips. "You know, Stiels, I think I can handle a regular pen."
"Ah, but can you handle the future, Cap? Can you handle the sheer, unbridled convenience of a self-inking quill? This is just the beginning! Soon, we'll have flying cars, universal translators, and probably sentient toasters! You need to prepare!" Adam dramatically handed him the quill. "Consider it a gift. From one historical artifact enthusiast to another."
Steve chuckled, a genuine, warm sound. "Thanks, Stiels. I appreciate it." He actually took the quill.
' Mission accomplished. Phase one of Operation: Confuse Captain America with Mundane Future Tech is complete. Next, I introduce him to TikTok. He's going to love the Renegade. Or be utterly terrified. '
The Go-Away-Green was still waiting for its moment. He was thinking of a certain highly decorated, eye-patched director's office. Nick Fury probably hadn't seen a good swamp in years. And Adam was just the man to bring it to him. Maybe with some rubber ducks. The subtle art of chaos was his forte.