Kinito sat on his throne, chewing on his shirt out of pure frustration and anxiety.
A giant window floated in front of him, and through it, he watched the raid happening in real time.
"I should've invested something in this stupid dungeon," he muttered, still gnawing on his shirt like it owed him money.
[IT'S THE HOST'S FAULT FOR SIMPING TOO MUCH]
How was I supposed to know I'd reincarnate into my own dungeon?
Sigh.
Let's see what those clowns are up to now.
The raid team was wandering through the dungeon.
Five people. Big attitudes.
"This is the weakest dungeon I've ever been in," said the leader, shaking sand out of his shoe like it personally offended him.
"You're right," someone else added. "Feels more like a haunted house attraction than an actual dungeon."
"I'm honestly curious how weak the boss of this pathetic place is," said one of the girls.
There were two of them—one looked like a healer, the other was dressed like a mage. Both were clearly not impressed.
"It's not that weak," Kinito pouted, listening in like a grumpy Twitch streamer reading hate comments.
Crawl.
A crab skittered into the raid team's path.
Kick.
The leader punted it across the room like it was a football.
"Do we seriously have to fight these things?"
"A little weak…" Kinito muttered, now dying of secondhand embarrassment.
[HOST, THE RAID IS GETTING CLOSE TO THE THRONE ROOM.
DO SOMETHING.]
Kinito jumped up and started pacing around his throne, hands buried in his hair.
"What do I do, what do I do?!"
Other isekai protagonists get overpowered cheat skills and a beautiful harem.
I got… a dungeon.
A dungeon that's only survived this long because God was feeling generous that day.
Wait.
I'm reincarnated.
And I'm the dungeon boss.
Which means... I must have some kind of broken SSS-rank skill, right?
A cocky grin slowly spread across his face.
It was exceptionally ugly.
"Alright. Let's teach those little brats a lesson."
Aqua looked at kinito with a confused expression.
*******
The raid party pushed open the throne room doors.
To their utter shock, no one seemed to be inside—
Except for one lone figure sitting proudly on the throne, his face hidden in the shadows cast by the massive stone pillars.
For the first time, the raid members felt... anxious.
"What are you mortals seeking in my dungeon?"
Kinito's voice echoed across the chamber, bouncing off the walls like a dragon's whisper.
The raid leader gripped his sword tightly.
"I have to look cool because I'm the boss," Kinito thought to himself, sweating internally.
"Do you mortals wish for death?" he boomed, rising slowly from the throne.
If we can't beat him, I'll act as bait so the others can escape, the raid leader thought, panic starting to build.
Step.
Kinito descended the stairs from the throne, trying to radiate pure menace.
Step.
Step.
SLIP.
Kinito tripped on the final step and faceplanted directly into the sand with an oof.
He stayed there, unmoving. Too embarrassed to lift his head. All his dramatic buildup had just gone up in smoke.
The squad stared at him, eyes wide.
Not with fear—but with disappointment and unbearable secondhand embarrassment.
"…Pfft."
"Is that weak thing the boss?" the mage girl snorted, bursting into laughter.
Then—
Slash.
Her head flew clean off. A fountain of blood erupted from her neck like a geyser.
"How dare a mortal disrespect my lord?"
Aqua stepped forward, eyes glowing red—burning with rage and a thirst for blood.
Before anyone knew what was happening, heads started flying.
Literally.
One second the raid team was laughing. The next? Blood geysers.
The whole scene looked like a war crime with good lighting.
Kinito was still face-down in the sand, peeking up.
Aqua stood there, drenched in red, glowing like some kind of anime blood goddess.
He smiled like an idiot.
"Totally worth it."
[HOST, THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I AGREE WITH YOU.]
In seconds, the raid team was completely wiped out.
Then—ding!
[ TASK COMPLETED]
[ REWARD: 100 COINS]
Kinito's lip curled into the dumbest grin imaginable.
If he was still playing the game, he'd have already wasted all those coins on another beach skin for Aqua.
He stood up, casually brushing sand off his crusty clothes.
Ahem.
"System, show me how strong Aqua is."
[NAME: AQUA]
[RANK: HERO]
[POWER LEVEL: UPPER GENERAL]
"Upper General, huh? Sounds... high?"
He scratched his head.
"Hey System, show me all the power levels."
[HOST, YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME FOR A YEAR AND YOU STILL DON'T KNOW THE POWER LEVELS.]
Kinito looked away awkwardly.
"I was only playing for Aqua..."
[SIMPING DETECTED: LEVEL 999.]
[STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.]
"Just show me the chart, bro."
A floating chart appeared:
MOB POWER LEVELS:
SOLDIER → UPPER SOLDIER → COMMANDER → UPPER COMMANDER → GENERAL → UPPER GENERAL
He nodded like he understood.
"Okay okay, no wonder Aqua's cracked."
Then he smirked.
"System, what's my power level? I'm her master, I gotta be crazy strong, right?"
[HOST'S LEVEL:
WEAKER THAN SOLDIER]
"...huh?"
"...what do you mean weaker than soldier?"
"...I trained her! I made her! I am her creator!"
[HOST. LISTEN CLOSELY.]
[THE BOSS'S POWER IS BASED ON THE DUNGEON'S LEVEL.]
[YOUR DUNGEON IS LEVEL 1. WHICH MEANS YOU'RE BUILT LIKE A WET PAPER TOWEL.]
Kinito fell to his knees.
"This world is cruel..."
[RELAX. AS THE DUNGEON LEVELS UP, SO DO YOU.]
"Alright, alright. How do I level it up?"
[TASKS MUST BE COMPLETED. THEN SPEND COINS TO UPGRADE.]
"Cool. Gimme the list."
[TASKS TO COMPLETE:]
RUN: 0/5 KM
PUSH-UPS: 0/100
CLEAN THE DUNGEON: 0%
REPAIR THE DUNGEON
"...Repair?" Kinito squinted.
He looked around.
Cracked walls.
Leaky ceiling.
A crab cooking itself under a sunbeam.
"Oh. Yeah. That checks out."
"I could probably finish all this... but I'm broke. No coins left."
He glanced over at the raid team's bodies.
Then back at the system.
A slow, stupid smile stretched across his face.
"...Hey, system. Can I sell their clothes?"