Since my parents wanted to disown me without so much of a word, I found myself hating them. There was so much anger and hatred in my heart, it was painful.
I got a job at a new restaurant down the street. The atmosphere was dark and it was some sort of murder mystery restaurant experience.
The premise was cool, I guess, if you were into that kind of spooky stuff, but my boss was practically the devil himself.
He'd make me work overtime and give me the hardest jobs. It was always, "But Isa, I'm only trusting you with this because I know you're capable."
I knew it was a manipulation tactic, that he was just disguising the over work as a compliment, a sign that I was doing a good job, some sort of twisted reward.
What could I say, though? I needed the work and he was my boss.
Customers verbally abused me daily, and he refused to back me up.
"The customer is always right, now go put on a smile." He'd say.
Other co-workers were always bumping and shoving me. I'd dropped my tray and shattered glass multiple times.
There's a scar on my foot from when I stepped in it once.
Eventually, I was able to make enough money to move out into my own place – some moldy, dusty, crusty hole in the wall.
Nowhere else would hire me and I couldn't afford anything else.
I wanted my mommy and my daddy...but they didn't want me anymore…..and I hated them for it.
As much as I longed to sleep in their bed again, to cuddle them and hug them, I wanted nothing to do with them. I didn't want to see their stupid faces or hear their annoying voices. I wanted them out of my life for good!
Despite that, the night before my 21st birthday, I found myself curled up, hugging that plush they'd got me as if it were a lifeline.
Tears streamed down my face. Mommy always said when I turned 21 she'd take me to a bar and drink with me….
I wonder if they even noticed that I'd moved out...did they care that they could no longer reach me? Did they care if I was alive or not? Did they care if I was ok?
I couldn't afford a cellphone with my salary and my rent. I was barely getting by. I hadn't spoken to them in almost two years now.
Mommy? Daddy? Why did you leave me…..?
I don't know when I fell asleep but I was woken up the next morning by a burning, stinky liquid splashing in my face.
"What the?!"
I carefully wiped my eyes and looked up.
Standing there were my mom and dad.
"Mommy? Daddy?" I choked out, near tears.
"Happy 21st birthday, Isa. The days never get easier without you here." My mom said, taking a shot.
"I'm sorry that you don't get to be here to celebrate it with us…my precious daughter." My dad choked out as he took a sip of a beer.
"What do you mean? I'm right he-" Suddenly…..I saw it…..a tombstone…..with my name on it.
My eyes widened.
"Here lies beloved daughter, Isa Bergs. Taken too soon, but she'll blossom no matter where she's at."
I-Is that…..mine?
I fell to my knees and ran my fingers over the dates.
My birthday…..to May 2...the day of the accident.
My hands flew to my face as I gasped in horror.
Wh-What?!
A sharp pang rang through my head and I grasped at my skull as I shut my eyes tight.
The day we came home from the hospital, I could see it….I never…..I never ate the burger…..mom and dad were crying because they ordered it for me and set a plate for me out of habit...but I was already gone…..
My birthday gifts….they weren't left outside my door they were left at my grave.
Maddie's messages and the voice mails they would leave me…..it was just to hear my voice on my voice mail...and to try and connect with me…..
When everyone jumped and looked at me in class…..I had yelled "HELLO" with so much force….they heard my ghost…..but in reality, I was never there.
The guy whose shoulder I tapped…..he knew there was no one sitting behind him….he just thought it was a weird feeling.
My dad never said I was annoying, he was just swatting away an annoying mosquito.
At my graduation, I never sat there, it was just my photo in a frame. They didn't clap to congratulate me, they clapped to support my parents….it was a tribute to me…..because I never got to graduate for real.
The flowers they gave me that day…..they just left them at my tombstone….
My phone...they finally....disconnected it to move on...
I let out a horrified scream.
Suddenly I felt like I was being dragged down. I opened my eyes to see everyone who bullied me after that, my boss, my coworkers, those evil customers….they were grabbing me and pulling me down.
I screamed louder as their faces contorted to something evil….demonic.
"Come with ussssss, you don't belong anymore."
"Now you realized…..you belong to usssss."
"Tsssssk, tsssssk, the illusion shattttteerrreeedd~ Now you will fall through….~"
They whispered sinisterly, their voices overlapping.
I tried to bat and push them away, but it was no use.
I cried out for my parents. They were getting further and further away. I reached my hand out to grab them, hoping….praying that they would grab me and hug me, that this was all just a terrible nightmare.
"I know….wherever you are…..you're okay now. When I heard your voice tell me you were okay, I knew I could be at peace and let you go. I hope one day I'll see you again." My mom cried out, but with her tears, was a big smile.
My eyes widened.
That day at graduation…..she'd heard me say "I'm okay."
The truth is...I was the one who wouldn't let go.
I couldn't let go of the fact that I wasn't alive anymore.
Now I remember.
I knew I'd died. When I felt her hand stroking my head in the hospital…..it wasn't lulling me to sleep....she was comforting me in my final moments. She knew in that moment I was drifting away.
But I didn't want to leave them. I wasn't ready. I wanted to eat my grapes and apple slices and complain later about how I was too hungry because I didn't eat a proper breakfast.
I wanted to go to school that day and come home and ask my mom how her interview went.
I wanted to graduate and go to university and fall in love and get married and introduce my kids to their grandparents.
I wanted...my mom and dad to hug me one more time…..
I hated them...because...I was mad at myself. Mad that I was late that morning, mad that I didn't get one last hug....mad that I was tethering myself to a place I didn't belong anymore.
Suddenly, my body felt so light. My parents were getting closer and closer, and then further and further.
I accepted what happened to me, and accepted that I didn't belong anymore and I was finally free.
May 2. It was just like any other day. Except, this time, it changed multiple lives. One was stuck in time forever, the others moving forward with a hole in their hearts, another succumbed to an early death due to heavy drinking from guilt, and another left a spot open between her bridesmaids for someone that should've been there.
---------------------------------------------------
I sat in my bed, scrolling on my Heavenly appointed phone, looking at all of the updates from my friends. Maddie's daughter was pregnant, she seemed so excited to be a grandmother, even if she was still "too young".
My school closed down, not enough students to go there. The property got sold and they tore the building down, including the memorial to me they'd built. Rude!
Then, I got an alert on my phone and my heart pounded.
I ran to the front door and flung it open.
"Daddy!!!!!" I flung my arms open wide and threw myself into my dad's arms and hugged him tight.
He burst into tears as he held me.
A few days later, my mom joined us too and finally, we were a happy family again.