My name's Ryan Hawkins.
And I live in a cramped apartment that probably smells like expired dreams and microwave noodles.
My life?
Simple.
School. Home. School again.
Then boom—existential dread.
---
Whenever I get bored, I do what every sane person does:
I count my hair.
> "One, two, three… uh, is that a white hair?"
Pause. Panic.
> "Never mind. I don't understand my life."
---
When I get hungry?
I sprint to the refrigerator like it owes me rent.
Fling the door open—ready to conquer.
Boom.
Sauce. Ketchup. Mustard.
A single slice of cucumber in the corner, judging me silently like:
> "Bro… this is it? Seriously?"
And I whisper back:
> "Oh my god—pttttt!"
---
Sigh.
Cue dramatic music.
Time to go to the market.
I walk into the supermarket like I'm in a movie.
That's when I see it.
A crab.
Crawling at the edge of the seafood section like it knew its fate.
I crouch down, pick it up, and say:
> "Oh baby, why are you running? You're too pretty to be scared."
The seafood guy just stares at me like I need holy water.
Our eyes meet.
> "Oh! I'm sorry. Hehe…"
And I casually walk away like I didn't just flirt with a crab in public.
---
I swear I'm normal.
Probably.
Maybe.
Okay—no.
But who is these days?
---
Anyway, things were fine…
Until one message changed everything.
---
It was just an ordinary afternoon.
I was sipping 3-in-1 coffee that tasted like broken promises.
Scrolling through social media like a zombie with WiFi.
Watching short videos on FlirtTok—for research purposes, of course.
Then it happened.
Someone sent me a photo.
> "OWWWW?!"
I jumped. Nearly spilled my coffee.
Dropped my phone like it was radioactive.
Thought it was a girl.
Turns out—it was a plate of fried chicken. With ketchup.
Delicious betrayal.
My brain glitched.
My stomach howled.
My hope crumbled.
Still, I kept scrolling.
Watched cat videos.
Laughed at memes like:
> "POV: You have no money and no one loves you."
Cringed.
Cried.
Drank more betrayal-flavored coffee.
---
Then it came.
The message.
> Ping!
"Hey baby... I'm your Sugar Mommy 💋. Willing to give you $25,000 monthly allowance 💸. Message me on KG 😘."
My soul paused.
I blinked three times.
Whispered to myself:
> "No way. Is this real life? Is this… destiny?"
I read it again.
Imagined myself rich.
Wearing designer clothes.
Eating Jollibee with my pinky finger raised.
Then she said:
> "But before I send the money, send ₱1,500 first to activate the conversion fee."
My brain said:
> "Wait… this feels scammy."
But my wallet said:
> "₱25,000. DO IT."
So I did it.
I sent the ₱1,500.
...
She blocked me.
...
I stared at my phone.
My coffee was cold.
My dreams shattered like a budget plate in a telenovela.
> "No more allowance…"
> "No more chicken…"
> "No more GRAVY?!"
---
I cried.
Ugly cry.
The kind with thunder sounds and dramatic lightning in the background.
> "WHYYYYY?!"
My stomach rumbled.
My pride withered.
Everything hurt.
---
That night, I had a dream.
I wore a black suit.
Dark shades.
A suitcase full of fake IDs and burner SIM cards.
I walked into a glowing, top-secret building.
> PHILIPPINE ANTI-SCAMMER HQ.
A general approached and declared:
> "Recruit! Welcome to the High-Ranking Scammer Division."
"Your mission: SCAM THE SCAMMERS."
"Our motto: 'For the scammed—WE STRIKE BACK.'"
I saluted.
Everyone clapped.
Even the crab guy from the market was there, wiping a tear.
---
Then I woke up.
Eyes wide open.
Fan spinning.
The world—quiet.
I whispered to myself:
> "Get ready…"
Walked to the window.
Looked out like a low-budget anime protagonist.
A soft breeze drifted in.
A tricycle honked.
---
And just like that…
My villain origin story began.
🌟 Enjoyed Ryan's tragic comedy spiral?
Smash that ❤ Add to Library to join his scam-fueled journey!
Leave a comment if you've ever been tempted by ₱25k and a random "KG" message 👀
Chapter 1 drops soon — and it only gets crazier from here.
✍️ Written by: KenydayRain
📚 Scammers Saga: First Scam, First Serve