Chapter 1: Lazybones, Shinobi, Paradise!
"My name is Nara Keisuke, 12 years old, a reserve Genin."
Nara Keisuke's natural talent for being a shinobi wasn't ideal. But, in the end, it was enough to let him pass the Konoha Ninja Academy's graduation exam.
"I live in the Kikyo Mountain and Kikyo Castle area in the northwestern part of Konoha Village."
"Considering the daily commute to and from school was too long and tiring, I bought a top-floor corner apartment right next to the Ninja Academy. I only ride my deer back home to visit my parents on weekends and holidays."
In Konoha Year 48, the village was peaceful today.
However, as the situation on the front lines grew increasingly tense, every shinobi knew one thing—the arrival of the Third Great Shinobi War was ultimately inevitable. Perhaps a single spark was all it would take to ignite the flames of war completely.
Sensing the turbulent situation, the upper echelons of Konoha not only urgently recalled the powerful Jōnin who were operating outside the village, but they also used the Chūnin Exams to promote a batch of core Chūnin on the spot. They even "graduated" a considerable number of student Genin from the academy ahead of schedule.
It was only because of this that Nara Keisuke was finally able to secure his position as a ninja.
Facts aside, being a ninja—soaring through the skies and moving through the earth, being both cute and charming—was truly a wonderful thing.
What's more, what Nara Keisuke had gained today wasn't just "a Ninja Academy graduation certificate" and "a Konoha forehead protector," but also a long-overdue "transmigrator's cheat ability"!
[Detected official acquisition of Shinobi status!]
[The <
Formally becoming a shinobi and unexpectedly awakening a golden finger. When two happy events came together, it should have been a dreamlike time of happiness.
But why... why did it turn out like this?
Nara Keisuke gave up on thinking, his tone pausing for a moment as he continued to provide his personal information.
"I study diligently, never skip class or leave early. I go home immediately after school and have never stayed out all night. I sleep at 11 PM and make sure to get a full eight hours of sleep every night."
"Before sleeping, I always take a cup of the Nara's secret medicine, then practice shadow secret arts for two and a half hours. Once I'm in bed, I fall asleep immediately and sleep soundly until dawn, never carrying fatigue or stress into the next day."
"My doctor father—who is also the director of the Nara Pharmaceutical Research Institute—says I'm overly obsessed with the family's inherited Yin Release secret arts. Although my learning progress far exceeds my peers, it has also led to some physical weakness."
"If this continues, it's very likely to affect my future career as a shinobi."
Up to this point, Nara Keisuke's tone remained exceptionally calm and steady.
His talent for being a ninja was indeed "not ideal," but it was far from "hopeless."
On the contrary, thanks to his "innate" powerful spiritual energy and the Nara clan's signature "high-spec brain," Nara Keisuke possessed outstanding aptitude in areas like knowledge acquisition and chakra refining and control.
Even if he were to quit being a shinobi, Nara Keisuke was not without other options.
For example, he could fully apply his talents to the world of scientific research. The number of "scientific answers" he knew that touched upon the very roots of the world was not just one or two... The path of a great shinobi-world scientist had been walked smoothly by countless predecessors.
If worse came to worst, Nara Keisuke could also go home and inherit his family's Nara Pharmaceutical Research Institute, along with several hundred Nara deer, dozens of Nara pharmacies, and a few small mountains. His father had already been clamoring to retire for the past thirteen years!
Damn it, however...
If you didn't truly love it, who would willingly become a shinobi? (Totally true.)
Besides, Nara Keisuke had already figured out a solution to his predicament. As long as he could complete that jutsu, as long as he could—
"Kid, what in the world are you talking about?"
A questioning voice interrupted Nara Keisuke's thoughts. He sighed silently and looked toward the female ninja opposite him.
She had a delicate and fair, melon-seed-shaped face. Her smooth, gorgeous golden hair was tied back in a single ponytail. Beneath slender, willow-leaf eyebrows, her phoenix eyes, tilted up at the corners, held a natural authority. Her upper body was clad in a cream-white, midriff-baring short-sleeved top, revealing the alluring curve of a toned waist with faint traces of abdominal muscles. Her lower body was paired with black ultra-short hot pants, accentuating her long, flawless, and well-proportioned legs. Her entire being radiated a powerful and capable kind of beauty.
But the most eye-catching feature of all had to be the breathtakingly full curve outlined by that cream-white top.
There was likely no one in Konoha who didn't recognize this wealthy and generous blonde young lady. The granddaughter of the First and Second Hokage, the direct disciple of the Third Hokage, and one of the world-renowned Sannin—
Tsunade crossed her arms, glaring like frost at the well-behaved, clean, and handsome black-haired boy before her.
If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she would never have believed that such a magnificent youth would, in the instant she passed by, reveal a dazed, silly smile as if immersed in some kind of indescribable, illusory satisfaction.
He was just like her certain perverted, white-haired teammate who enjoyed peeking into the women's bathhouse—wait a minute!
With the external situation of Konoha growing more tense by the day, no one could say for sure when the war would erupt. Even an idiot of Jiraiya's level should have returned to the village by now, right?
Suddenly, as if remembering something, the coldness on Tsunade's beautiful face receded, replaced by a teasing, half-smiling expression.
Nara Keisuke was mystified by the reaction of this "legendary sucker," and could only continue to answer her question.
"What I mean is, I am a person who has always pursued a quiet life..."
In this shinobi world, so rigidly defined by bloodlines and fatalism, above the mortals were the grinders. Above the grinders were the geniuses. And above the geniuses were the cheaters. And that wasn't even mentioning the true gods above the cheaters, like the "mastermind behind the scenes," the "rabbit goddess," or even the "cheat-giving director old man"!
An ordinary ninja has their limits.
The Nara clan has its limits!
In the shinobi world, powerful beings run rampant, and lives are as worthless as grass. Nara Keisuke just wanted to be an ordinary ninja, earn a little money, and pass his days in peace and tranquility.
As a certain bowl of old chicken soup for the soul goes: The First Pillar came from the Senju, the Second Pillar came from the Uchiha, and I come from the Nara clan; we all have bright futures.
"Shinobi," "Genius," "Reincarnate," "Cheat ability"! Nara Keisuke had already collected all the elements and embarked on his "bright future"!
"A quiet life? Don't be ridiculous! I've already figured out your true identity!"
The smile on Tsunade's face bloomed like a gorgeous peony. The joy of a "reunion with an old friend" made her take a large step forward, creating a swaying, eye-catching wave. She raised a small fist high, and an invisible pressure wave spread out.
"This is Konohagakure! Not a place for you to be pafu-pafu!"
The massively swaying side-to-side waves magnified in his vision. Nara Keisuke's dark pupils contracted and trembled. Two tentacle-like, slender shadows shot out from beneath him, silent like heart-seeking hunters in the dead of night.
[C-Rank Secret Technique: Shadow Gathering Jutsu]
[Jutsu Description: At the user's request, shadow tentacles that stir in the darkness.]
[Jutsu Effect: Materializes one's own shadow into countless fine tentacles, which can then be used to manipulate nearby physical objects. Its uses are as varied and versatile as one's imagination.]
[Jutsu Evaluation: A kunoichi's best friend.]
Nara Keisuke didn't release the Shadow Gathering Jutsu to attack, but merely to control the situation.
"This is my forehead protector!" Nara Keisuke manipulated the shadow tentacles, raising the protector and certificate he had retrieved from the equipment pouch on his lower back high for Tsunade to see. He presented his concrete proof of identity just before her fist could smash into his head.
"And my graduation certificate!"
'An instant, hand-seal-less ninjutsu? It really is the Nara clan's secret shadow technique!'
Tsunade stared at the forehead protector and certificate before her, as well as the shadow tentacles manipulating the two items, feeling nothing but surprise.
'Was that kid telling the truth just now? He really isn't that bastard Jiraiya?'
Tsunade's imposing aura slackened slightly, and the small fist that had been ready for a "critical hit" was lowered a few inches.
Observing this, Nara Keisuke let out a sigh of relief, a layer of fine sweat beading on his forehead.
If he had really taken a punch like that, with his small frame, he'd probably have gone straight to paradise!
Nara Keisuke truly couldn't figure out how he had provoked Tsunade. The two of them had absolutely no prior interaction. He had just been minding his own business, examining his newly awakened cheat ability, when he was inexplicably stopped by her.
Just because you're a rich, golden-haired sucker doesn't mean you can do whatever you want, does it?!
Seeing that Tsunade was not making another move, Nara Keisuke had no choice but to use his final "killer move."
"If I have offended you in any way," Nara Keisuke said as he placed the protector and certificate back into his pouch, then counted out several bills with a denomination of ten thousand ryō and presented them with both hands.
"Please accept my apologies."
You little brat, are you trying to buy me off with money?! This is an insult to me!
Tsunade wanted to reprimand him loudly.
However...
She watched as Nara Keisuke lightly flicked the ten-thousand ryō bills in his hand. The stacked banknotes instantly fanned out like a peacock displaying its feathers, the brilliant light of wealth dazzling the eyes.
Limited Skill - Gold Release: Hand of 100,000 Ryō!
The amount he was offering was simply too much!
"Ahem!"
Tsunade retracted her fist, holding it to her lips as she coughed twice, trying hard to put on a serious and stern expression.
"Kid from the Nara clan, you said you live in Kikyo Castle, right? That's outside the village! It's getting late, and the protection outside the village can't compare to what's inside. Let this young lady escort you home!"
Looking at Tsunade's incredibly "amiable" and brilliant smile, and the 100,000 ryō that had somehow found its way into her hand, Nara Keisuke could only swallow the words of refusal that had reached his lips.
Taking advantage of the moment while Tsunade happily turned to lead the way, Nara Keisuke took a deep breath, cleared his mind of distracting thoughts, and silently called out his golden finger.
'Lazy Shinobi's Path to Paradise!'
A virtual panel that only he could see, emitting a faint fluorescent glow, suddenly popped up in Nara Keisuke's vision.
He had awakened this "Lazy System" today, right after receiving the standard-issue forehead protector that symbolized his status as a Konoha ninja from his academy teacher. He just hadn't had the time to examine it in detail earlier. And then he was arrested on the street by a beautiful but dangerous golden-haired sucker...
What a great humiliation!
Nara Keisuke unworthily glanced at Tsunade's back up ahead, then fixed his gaze on the information log on the virtual panel.
[Detected affliction: Six Paths Sage Art: Curse of Self-Inflicted Karma!]
[A lazy shinobi must eventually go to paradise!]
'Those are two messages that really don't put one at ease...'
'And the [Six Paths Sage Art: Curse of Self-Inflicted Karma]... in the current era, before the Third Great Shinobi War has even started, the only one who could possibly cast a Six Paths level Sage Art is probably that cheat-giving director old man watching the show from the Pure Land, right?'
'What is this?'
'We all have cheats, so they can use theirs, but I can't use mine?'
'To plant a Sage Art curse seal more despicable than frog's piss in my body! Old man, I'll remember you!'
Nara Keisuke steadied his mind and then opened his personal attribute information panel.
Name: Nara Keisuke (Can view own chakra pathway system model)
Ninjutsu: C (Proficiency in the use and mastery of all arts based on chakra and other energy forms)
Taijutsu: E- (Proficiency in the use and mastery of all martial arts and combat skills based on physical fitness)
Strength: E- (The intensity of physical power, primarily affecting wrist, arm, and leg strength, etc.)
Speed: E- (The quickness of physical agility, primarily affecting motor functions, reaction speed, etc.)
Stamina: E- (Physical constitution, cellular activity, can be roughly understood as physical energy)
Wisdom: C- (Thinking IQ, knowledge and experience, can be roughly understood as spiritual energy)
Jutsu Abilities: [Body Replacement Technique] (E-Rank), [Transformation Technique] (E-Rank), [Clone Technique] (E-Rank), [Shadow Imitation Technique] (Secret, D-Rank), [Shadow Gathering Jutsu] (Secret, C-Rank), [Shadow Sewing Technique] (Secret, B-Rank)
Shinobi Secret Scroll: Blank
Overall Evaluation: D-Rank (Genin)
The six shinobi stats, each with a corresponding description, seemed very detailed, professional, and not difficult to understand. If one were to focus on a specific stat, an even more precise numerical value would appear.
After some testing by Nara Keisuke, the exact values corresponding to his six stats were:
Ninjutsu: 486
Taijutsu: 3
Strength: 2
Speed: 3
Stamina: 2
Wisdom: 214
Aside from [Ninjutsu], which represented his mastery of techniques, and [Wisdom], which symbolized his spiritual energy, Nara Keisuke's other stats could only be described with four words—full of future potential.
'The benefits of a quantified panel are obvious, but I just haven't found a way to raise my personal attribute data yet. Research on the six basic shinobi stats can be put on the back burner for now. As for the last three sections...'
'[Jutsu Abilities] records personal ability information.'
'[Overall Evaluation] describes personal strength level.'
'These two are easy to understand. The key is the one in the middle, [Shinobi Secret Scroll]. It's really making me curious...'
Nara Keisuke hadn't had the [Lazy Shinobi's Path to Paradise] for long, and many of its functions required his continued exploration and testing.
But even so, there was still one known function in the system that was of immense help to Nara Keisuke at his current stage!
With a thought from Nara Keisuke, a ripple of light washed over the virtual panel. The six stats, arranged vertically, immediately converged and transformed into a hexagonal chart, and a lifelike human model appeared next to the chart.
Observing it closely, one could see the dense and intricate network of the human chakra pathway system on this miniaturized "Nara Keisuke Human Model," as well as the 361 chakra points distributed throughout this system!
Nara Keisuke was immensely pleased.
'This is the same type of ability as the Hyūga—no!'
'It's the same as the Ōtsutsuki's Byakugan!'
Author's Note:
This book's timeline is based on "Uzumaki Naruto being born in Konoha Year 51." For the basic timeline of Naruto, you can check the related works section.
The content and settings of this book are primarily based on the Naruto manga, supplemented by the anime, movies, and official guidebooks.
(End of Chapter)