The map updated on its own.
That's usually a problem.
Especially when the region it added doesn't technically exist.And yet… somehow still has an active Pokémon League.
I'm starting to think I didn't fix reality—I just gave it creative mode.
A New Challenger Appears (Uninvited)
The day started normally. Amber was recalibrating the vending machine to give out held items based on mood rings. Chadlax was trying to figure out how many Leftovers he could eat before he became a physical paradox. Karen was teaching the glitches how to hover slightly menacingly.
Then my PokéGear vibrated.
NEW REGION DETECTED:Region: N O N E S U C HDifficulty Rating: [???]League Status: ACTIVEChampion: [DATA NOT FOUND]
"Amber," I said slowly, "we've got an unauthorized update."
She rolled her eyes. "Please tell me it's not another test build of Kalos."
"No. Worse. It's a region that isn't even coded into the PokéEarth index. It has no cities, no towns, no wild encounters… but a full League."
Chadlax raised a hand. "I once dreamed of a place like that. It was just a hallway, and everyone there was a Mimikyu wearing my face."
Karen looked mildly intrigued. "Did you win?"
"No," he said. "They gave me a TM for screaming."
Welcome to Region Nonesuch
We stepped into the teleport gate and immediately regretted it.
The air shimmered like corrupted VHS tape. The ground was made of checkerboard tiles that flickered between sprite generations. The sky was… menu UI?
A sign greeted us:
WELCOME TO NONESUCH – NOW RECOGNIZED BY 0/18 GOVERNING BODIES!PLEASE ENJOY OUR 100% DIGITAL LEAGUE.NO CITIES. NO GYMS. JUST BOSS RUSH.
Amber's face lit up like a hacker at a forgotten server.
"This place is like an e-sports league designed by a fever dream!"
Karen stared around. "There are no people. Just... ghosts of mechanics that never got finalized."
And then the "Guide" arrived.
It was a hologram shaped like Professor Oak.
Only... wrong.
He was flickering, speaking in two languages at once, and had a rival's theme playing in reverse.
"WELCOME, PLAYER. INITIATE CHALLENGE.DEFEAT CHAMPION TO EARN NONESUCH BADGE:[COHERENCE.EXE]"
Battle 1: The Like-Fueled Influencer Gym
We didn't enter a building—we stepped into a comment section.
Literally.
Floating posts surrounded us like psychic terrain.
Our opponent? A trainer named #L1KEQUEEN, whose Pokémon only powered up when people "liked" their attacks mid-battle.
She sent out an Alolan Raichu named "Gl0wUp."
We sent out Chadlax.
Gl0wUp used Hashtag Surf.It went viral.Power doubled. Chadlax was hit with "cancel culture" damage.
Chadlax responded with Unfazed Punch.It ignored all stat buffs and hit through algorithm barriers.
"Only real ones stay tanky!" he yelled, then body-slammed the terrain.
We won. The comment section clapped in slow, sarcastic emojis. We received XP and a Digital Sticker of Approval.
Amber tried to paste it on my PokéDex. It triggered an ad.
Karen erased it with a single blink.
Battle 2: The Soft-Lock Cult
Next up: a psychic maze full of trainers who called themselves the "Children of the Save."
Their gimmick? They used ghost-type Pokémon who could trap you in infinite battle loops unless you knew the Konami code.
The leader, a spectral woman in a Gen III overworld sprite, introduced herself as ELOOP.
"I am the boss of recursion. The mistress of states. The breaker of B buttons."
She sent out a Shedinja that glowed like a cursed CRT monitor.
Midnight Daddy stepped forward.
Midnight Daddy used Fade Out.He removed himself from memory.The Shedinja couldn't target him.
Then he reappeared inside the battle menuand clicked "Delete Save."
The entire maze rebooted.
We woke up outside the arena with a new badge made of binary and the distinct feeling that we'd just mildly insulted the very concept of "choices."
The Champion Approaches
As we progressed, the terrain degraded. Trees became sprite boxes. The ground became untextured debug planes.
We reached the final platform.
The Champion waited.
They wore a cloak made of trainer sprites from every gen. Their face glitched randomly. Sometimes Oak. Sometimes Blue. Sometimes… me?
"Welcome," the Champion said. "I am NullPlayer01. I exist to test the one who rewrote the story."
They snapped their fingers. Their team appeared behind them:
A Level 150 MissingNo.
A Shiny Mewtwo with all HMs at once.
A "Pokémon Egg" that could attack.
A Pikablu. Yes, really.
A corrupted Wurmple with Judgment.
And…
…a shadowed Umbreon.
Not Midnight Daddy.
But… a prototype.
Midnight Daddy vs. Proto-Umbreon
The two circled each other in silence.
Amber whispered, "That's… a beta version. The one with broken stat scaling."
Karen nodded. "Midnight Daddy's scrapped twin."
The two Umbreons stared.
Then the proto glitched.
Used DarkDivide – a move that halves the opponent's concept.
Midnight Daddy staggered. He flickered.
I felt something leave him. His presence dimmed.
Until he stood tall.
"I'm not just data anymore."
He roared.
Midnight Daddy used SaveBind.Effect: Rewrites battlefield to remember him. Always.
The platform warped.
Proto-Umbreon collapsed, shaking, whispering corrupted code:
"You... chose to exist?"
Midnight Daddy nodded. "I did."
Battle over.
Reward: The Badge of Coherence
The Champion applauded.
"You win, Save File God. You cohered."
I was handed a badge that looked like a logic gate wrapped in a Pokéball.
The Champion faded.
Region Nonesuch deleted itself.
We were back on the normal map.
Back at Base
Amber checked the PokéGear.
"The region's gone."
Karen added, "But the badge remains."
Midnight Daddy simply sat beside me.
He didn't speak.
But he looked whole.
For the first time.
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