[Welcome to Wisdom of Qurt]
I selected my character, Mr. Goblin, on the character screen.
Loading...
The screen darkened briefly before flashing to life in Kurtia, a starter town on one of the game's continents.
I opened the Guild Info tab.
[Guild Info]
Level: 50 / 50
Members: 50 / 150
Guild Tasks:Complete
Next, I navigated to the member list. The "Quit" button sat at the bottom-right, but first, I needed to transfer my Vice Leader role to someone else.
Where's Max's name again...?
I scrolled alphabetically—found him. Clicked his profile, selected "Transfer Roles."
[Transfer Complete]
About 30 members were online tonight. Hopefully, they'll raid better without me... find new strategists.
Then, I clicked "Quit."
[Please confirm by typing "QUIT"]
I typed: Q... U... I... T.
[Player "Mr. Goblin" has left the Guild.]
Ting!
Ting!
Ting-ting-ting!!
What the hell? Notifications exploded across my screen.
I opened the chat log. Messages flooded in—all asking why I'd left.
"This guy didn't even ask during the event..." Whatever. Ignore.
Should I visit the farming zone? I missed the place where I'd first met Rin.
I wandered over to the Slime Fields, where newbies hunted for early EXP. Leaning against a tree, I watched two girls attempt their first kill.
Girl 1: Lisa, you can do it! Go kill them!
Lisa (with a cute smile): Yup!
She swung her sword—and hit nothing but air.
Girl 1 (facepalming): Lisa, DON'T close your eyes! Just kill it!
Lisa (panicking): Nooo! They're too cute to die!"
I chuckled under my breath.
Suddenly, both girls whirled toward me, eyes narrowed.
Lisa (pointing): Look! That perverted goblin is laughing at us!"
Girl 1 (brandishing her sword): "Should we attack him?"
They assumed battle stances—one a Swordsman, the other a Healer. A solid combo...
Wait. Why are they targeting me?
...Do they think I'm a monster?
"Arhhh..... the swordsman charges at me while running. Before reaching me, her foot trips on a stone.
Pfft... I need to hold back my laughter, or it'll get worse. Damn, she stares at me with dead eyes. She then gets up and charges at me again.
I just block her sword with one finger and throw her far away.
Shit... that must've hurt—maybe her HP dropped a lot.
The healer is sitting there, panicking. 'Am I going to be raped by a Goblin? Noooo...'
I watch her with confusion. Why doesn't she just run? Should I scare her a little? I get up from my seat and walk over to her.
I look down at her and grab both her hands, pinning them above her head. Maybe this will teach her that this game isn't as easy as they think.
Wait a minute... why is her breathing getting faster? And why are there hearts in her eyes?! I just noticed this scene... something's off.
I quickly stand up and back away... What a perverted Healer!
'You there, don't touch my friend!!' She tries to get up, but her HP is low, and my paralysis skill keeps her from moving.
Now, at this moment, I look like some kind of rapist... I should stop this.
I remove my paralysis skill and let her take an elixir to drink.
'Sorry, I'm actually human—just my character is a Goblin.' I try to explain to them. Luckily, they both understand.
'You two should keep farming. I just want to relax here.' The two of them move closer to me.
'Hello, my name is Kisa, and this is my twin sister, Lisa. Umm... can you give us tips on how to kill slimes?'
I think about it—most people just attack them repeatedly until they find the core inside the slime's body, but that costs a lot of money because slimes slowly damage weapons.
'How about this? You two attack them bare-handed. Come, I'll show you...' I take them to the slimes.
'Here, just wait for a shiny spot on their body—that's their core, reflecting sunlight.'
A shiny spot appears on the slime's body, and I punch that spot, instantly killing it. The two of them clap.
'Thank you, Master!!'
The two of them start farming slimes that day. Not long after, their names appear on the Newbie Rush Event leaderboard for the fastest 50 slime kills in 30 minutes.
Well, that's good for them. Back in my day, Rin killed around 300 in 30 minutes. It really brings back nostalgia, teaching them the way I taught Rin."
"Not long after, their levels reached 10, and the EXP gains became minimal. They stopped hunting slimes. The two of them sat beside me, with me in the middle.
What are they doing now? It's not like people will get jealous or think I'm enslaving them...
'Maaasssterrr...' Lisa suddenly grabs my hand, pressing her two big 'apples' against me. Even though this is a game, it's so realistic that we can hear and feel whatever we touch—even lust can affect us here.
I need to stay cool...
'Why, Lisa? What do you need?'
Then, suddenly, Kisa does the same on my left side.
Shit... shit... shit...
'Master, can we be your apprentices?! Heehee~!' Kisa says excitedly, putting on her best charmless, try-hard persuasion.
But Lisa is different—she seems to be enjoying herself as she touches me. This perverted girl is something else.
I don't have the heart to reject them. At least, maybe with them around, I'll feel motivated to play again.
'O-okay... okay... okay... You can request it, but you know masters can do anything to their apprentices, right?' I try to scare them a little.
But without hesitation, they don't even think about the consequences and don't seem to care. The apprenticeship notification pops up.
Damn these girls... I rub my forehead in frustration and just accept.
Ding!! A world notification appears: 'The World's #1 Strategist, Mr. Goblin, has taken on two apprentices.'
Huh? Since when was there a world announcement? And since when was I #1?! I glance at Lisa and Kisa—they look completely shocked.
'Maaasterrr...! Are you that Rox Guild's Vice Leader?! The undefeated strategist?! The one even the world couldn't beat without your help?! The mastermind behind the guild's success?!'
'We didn't expect this! Your name doesn't even have a guild tag—it's just your name!'
'It's not just you two who are confused—I am too! I only joined that fight because Rin called me. I thought she was just bored—I didn't know they couldn't solve it without me!'
Now, Shin faces a real problem. His name is out there without the guild tag, and the world notification just went out to all 5 million players in the game..."