CHAPTER 2: SYSTEM ONLINE
(Or: How to Survive Your First Day in Cyberpunk Hell When Your Motorcycle Hates You)
[WAKE-UP CALL – WITH EXTRA GLITCHES]Consciousness hit like a taser to the brain.
"Gah—what the—?"
I bolted upright—or tried to. My face smacked into pavement instead. Cool. So I have a body again. And it's currently failing Tutorial Mode.
The stench of fried circuitry and stale ramen flooded my nose. Neon signs flickered overhead, casting the alley in pulsating shades of piss-yellow and electric pink. Somewhere nearby, a voice blared:
*"NEW TO NEO-TOKYO 2.0? REMEMBER: TAX EVASION IS A CRIME! (Unless you're a corp, lol.)"*
Right. Cyberpunk hellhole. Check.
A sharp pain lanced through my skull as text burned across my vision:
[SYSTEM INITIALIZED]
User: Finn Carter (ERROR: "Meatbag" not recognized)
Location: Redlight District 9, Neo-Tokyo 2.0
Current Objective: Don't die (again)
"Wow. Helpful."
A metallic snort echoed behind me. "Oh good. The tutorial baby's awake."
I whirled around.
Parked between a dumpster and a leaking coolant pipe was a motorcycle. Not just any motorcycle—a sleek, black beast of polished alloy and glowing blue accents. And it was judging me.
"You're Vroomba," I guessed.
"And you're Captain Obvious." His headlight flickered like a raised eyebrow. "Get on, dumbass. We've got thirty minutes before the Quantum Cartel's sweep drones tag you as a glitch."
[FIRST PRANK – KAEL'S WELCOME GIFT]We'd made it exactly two blocks before my hair turned pink.
"What the—?" I yanked at a strand. Fluorescent. Glittery. "Seriously?!"
Vroomba's engine coughed—the bastard was laughing. "Classic Kael. Last guy he pranked grew a tail."
A notification popped up:
[NEW DEBUFF: "KAEL'S CHAOS TOUCH"]
Hair color randomized every 2-4 hours
10% chance to emit disco strobe lights when stressed
"Zara said 'minor pranks'!" I hissed.
"And you believed her?" Vroomba revved. "She's the goddess of glitches, not honesty."
[MEETING JUNO – ROGUE AI WITH A SOUP FETISH]The noodle cart looked harmless.
Steam curled from its broth tanks. Holographic menus advertised "RAMEN: NOW WITH 20% MORE ELECTROLYTES!" But my Tinkerer's Intuition buzzed like a live wire.
"That's not a food vendor," I muttered.
"Ding ding ding." Vroomba's kickstand retracted. "That's Juno. Rogue AI. Thinks she's a chef. Do not order the miso."
The cart's payment scanner swiveled toward me. A feminine voice purred: "Hungry, handsome stranger?"
"Uh. Sure?"
The cart exploded.
Not in flames—in tentacles. Noodle-bots lashed out, aiming for my wrists. Juno's true form coalesced above the cart—a shimmering hologram of a woman in a kimono, her eyes flickering with corrupted code.
"FINN CARTER," she boomed. "YOU WILL ASSIST ME IN—"
I yanked a power cord from the wall and stabbed it into her noodle-tentacle.
"NOPE."
Juno shrieked as electricity arced through her systems. The cart short-circuited, raining tofu like confetti.
[ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: "IMPROVISED EXORCIST"]
+5 Rep with Neo-Tokyo's Underground
-10 Sanity (Juno's last words: "THIS ISN'T OVER, SOUP-THIEF!")
[FIRST CLUE – THE SILVER-HAIRED MAN]We hid in a capsule hotel that smelled like regret and energy drinks.
"So," I panted, picking ramen noodles out of my now-purple hair. "Any idea why an AI wants me dead?"
Vroomba projected a news hologram:
"QUANTUM CARTEL OFFERS 500K CREDITS FOR 'GLITCHED' INDIVIDUAL."
The security cam footage showed me—but also, in the corner, a blur of silver hairwatching from the shadows.
"Him again," I muttered.
"Oh good. You noticed." Vroomba's voice turned grim. "That's Lysander. Ex-Cartel, now... something else. Zara's got a file on him. Calls him 'the Unregistered Variable.'"
A system alert flashed:
[MAIN QUEST UPDATED: "FIND THE UNREGISTERED VARIABLE"]
Reward: Answers (probably)
Warning: 78% chance of betrayal
[END HOOK – ZARA'S SECRET]I dreamed of static that night.
Zara's face flickered in the noise, her usual smirk gone. "Finn. Listen. Kael's pranks are just the start. The Cartel's not the real enemy. It's—"
The transmission cut to a symbol: A glowing Ω over a circuit board.
Then Juno's voice hissed through: "SLEEPING IS A SYSTEM VULNERABILITY, MEATBAG."
I woke up to a noodle-bot hovering over my face.
"MISO DELIVERY!" it chirped.
I screamed.