They walked.
They walked a long-ass way. Down a dirty slope, through some bushes, past a couple of dead birds that probably died from boredom. That's when they saw it.
A tree. But not just any tree. It had a dude nailed to it.
Well, not really a dude. Just some wooden dummy with a fake-ass beard, long wig, arms out like he was getting crucified, and a white sheet wrapped around him like a toga. Under it, there was a cracked stone slab that said:
SECT WALL
Below that, someone had scribbled with charcoal:
train here or die
She looked at it.
she looked at him.
yo, she said. is that a person nailed to a tree
he rubbed his neck, eyes darting like a scared squirrel. no it's uh... it's inspiration
inspiration?? bro this looks like you tortured someone and hung them up for decoration. is this what you do to your enemies?
he shook his head fast. or your disciples? she added.
he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. no it's not that serious... i just thought it was cool.
cool. right. real sectmaster behavior, she muttered.
so where's the rest of it? where the sect at?
he pointed to the side.
there was one wooden training dummy in the middle of a muddy circle. it had arms sticking out, legs made of broomsticks, and a smiley face drawn with marker. on its chest, in shaky handwriting:
Don Yen
Wing Chun Master
ip man style
she stared.
wing what?
he didn't answer.
who's don yen? what's ip man? she blinked. is that like a sect name?
he mumbled. it's... from a movie
a movie.
so these are fake moves?
he swallowed air like it hurt. n-not fake. just... inspired. i call it... movie-style martial arts.
right.
she looked at the dummy again. it looked like it would fall over if she sneezed too hard. the arms weren't even level.
what are they doing, she asked. the dummies. are they meditating or what?
we're on the martial wall, he said like that explained anything. so i give you stuff to practice here.
he handed her a small book. thin, wobbly paper, handwritten with chicken-scratch ink. she opened the cover.
THE MAKE-UP BIBLE vol 1
yo, she said. what the hell is this?
inside were some janky verses:
job 13:13
shut up let me talk
glamourians 5:20
he who uses contour shall confuse the enemy
foundation = heavenly shield
lipstick = pact of blood
she stared at him.
you wrote this?
he snatched it back with both hands like it was radioactive.
w-wrong book! sorry!! that was my personal one!!
he fumbled and dropped it in the dirt, then pulled out another one and shoved it at her like a nervous shopkeeper.
she opened it.
WING CHUN TECHNIQUES: UNCOMPLETED VISION
inside were stick figures.
moves included:
machine gun punch
wind balanced kick
elbow of hidden sadness
floating palm of no return
one note said:
step 1: punch fast
step 2: punch faster
step 3: become blur
enemies cannot dodge blur
she closed the book slowly.
you made this up, didn't you.
he nodded like a guilty dog.
she looked at him again.
he couldn't meet her eyes. still red in the face. probably sweating bullets under that robe. this dude was really shy. not pretending shy. real deal no-eye-contact-lives-in-a-shack shy.
she sighed.
what kind of sect did i get recruited into
he mumbled, wanna see your room
she shrugged. sure
he ran back to the wooden house like a mouse hearing thunder again.
she followed slowly, flipping through the book while walking. none of the moves made sense. one said jump kick while saying cool line" and another said dodge by pretending to fall.
but she was smiling a little.
at least he was trying.
and honestly?
he was hot. like stupidly hot. like 'i could forgive the fake bible if he smiled at me once' kind of hot.
while he was inside building a bed from scrap wood, she just stood there looking at his back. the way his robe moved. his arms. his whole body just... screamed hidden potential.
he's dumb, she thought. and he's a coward. but he's mine now.
if i can get him to fall for me... maybe i'll be the sect wife. or at least get him to put a baby in me and run off with the bloodline.
she grinned to herself and sat down by the training dummy.
he was inside hammering pieces together.
he was a shy loser. no followers. no strength. no glory.
but he had hands that could build. he had eyes that wouldn't meet hers.
he was real.
and weirdly, that was kinda cute.