Darkness panted, her mouth hanging open and tongue lolling out as she drooled into a puddle on the floor. Her body shook in the twitches of an orgasm and her nipples stood out begging for attention. The Crusader's pretty blue eyes rolled in her head as she moaned in pleasure. Looking down at her, I pressed my foot just a bit harder into her crotch, drawing a whine from her as she bucked her hips up into my foot harder.
I need a way to deal with her, long term. Especially when I'm not around to administer rewards and punishment. It was something I had been thinking on for a while now—how to keep her from getting comfortable, adjusting and needing more stimulus, or from burning out entirely. Moreover, a way to exploit her nature not just physically, but psychologically—to get deep into her head in a way that a little ryona wouldn't. So whatever I decided on needed to be permanent, physical, visible, and absolutely humiliating for a noble of Lalatina's station.
Once again, I found myself coming back to an idea I'd been toying with for a while, taking inspiration both from real life kink stuff and hentai. Since this world had magic, that meant I could do all sorts of things that just wouldn't be possible otherwise. I had been throwing ideas at Crafter for a while, both for physical items to insert into the body and tattoos, and it was definitely something I could do. I had just been hesitant, because I wasn't sure Darkness was ready to commit.
But then, that's the thing with her. She wants someone to take the choice away from her. Ironically, she would be happiest if I just did it and didn't give her any say. If I absolved her of all guilt or responsibility.
Finally, I decided to pull the mental trigger on it and commit. I sent the build order to my cube. A moment later, it opened up and produced two simple-looking tools. I held one with telekinesis for use later, while I began fiddling with the other. The one in my hand looked a bit like an oversized stamp—being round with a six inch radius and a handle and a single button on the top, since it was meant to be used with the magical neural interface I had for the rest of my toys.
Mentally scrolling through the pre-loaded tattoo designs, I found one I liked and selected it. Next, I went over the spells I'd be loading into it. Being that this was a tattoo made of mithril, and given the size it would be when it was done, it would be able to store a simply ridiculous number of enchantments within it. So, I went for something a bit different.
There were, of course, the standard complement of healing and other welfare and comfort enchantments baked in, along with mana storage so it would provide power for itself as opposed to drawing mana from Darkness. Next was a set of enchantments that I could trigger manually. Enchantments to change her body's sensitivity, to directly stimulate her nerves all over her body to force sensations onto her, to give her a variety of stimuli including shock, heat, cold, vibration, pressure, and more, to directly stimulate both her pleasure and pain responses to skip the middleman so to speak and just give her pain or pleasure on command, to put her to sleep or wake her up whenever I wanted, to force her bodily functions to go off whenever I wanted (or to not trigger).
Then, I got creative. I put together a set of conditional triggers, set to give her certain stimulation when she said, did, or even thought certain things. A series of rewards and punishments to condition her into the perfect submissive slave—if she wasn't already. All of it set to monitor how it was being used and report back what was happening, so I could review things and make sure she wasn't actually hurting herself—because while I wanted to do this for both our fun, I didn't want to do permanent damage.
…I could use this to train her into being a proper Crusader, I mused as I stepped on her a bit harder to keep her in her happy place, blissed out and unaware of what was going on for the moment while I thought and worked. Disable her ability to feel pain the way she likes while she's in combat, then once she's safe and I've given the okay, have it all hit over time or at once. Give her pleasure, or pain, every time she actually hits an enemy with the intent to kill or destroy. Would have to bake in an IFF system to identify all monsters as 'enemy' and allow for manual designation of human targets as enemies, but Crafter says that's easily doable… And while I'm at it, why not a little real mind control for fun, beyond the obvious classical conditioning I'm going for?
There was just one problem with that. With Darkness, I didn't need mind control. She would happily do any degenerate act I ordered her to, protesting all the way, because it was what she wanted.
Then why not something a bit more direct? For instance, be able to induce locked-in syndrome at will and leave her helpless in her own body. Or making her body follow my orders directly, acting outside of her control? That seems right up her alley, really. Going to need some feedback though, some way to tell if something is too much, of if she's really okay with it.
With everything I wanted crammed into the tattoo design, I sent it to the stamp, which signaled that it was ready. I pulled my foot off of Darkness's crotch and she collapsed onto the ground, her body sagging in relief. Picking her up with telekinesis, I moved her over to the bed and dropped her onto her back. "Don't relax yet, Darkness. I haven't even taken your other two virginities yet," I reminded her with a malicious grin, making the blonde's crystal blue gaze roll in her head until her eyes focused on me.
"Nooo~"
"Yes," I countered, moving onto the bed and laying down beside her. Placing the stamp on her lower belly, I left it there for a moment as I pulled her into a hug and attacked her ear, earning a ticklish squeal as she tried to pull away. "What I'm going to do next is going to hurt, a lot. But you'll like the end result, I promise. Are you ready?"
She swallowed thickly and nodded, looking down at her stomach. "What is it?"
"That would spoil the surprise," I chastised. Reaching down, I pressed the button to prime it and a trigger popped out of the bottom of the handle. Pressing it firmly into her belly, I said, "Count to three for me."
Darkness nodded. "One—AH~!"
She squealed, squirming in my grip and thrusting her hips up into the stamp, nearly knocking it out of my hand. Luckily, it worked instantly, so there was no way she could mess up her new tattoo. I levitated it over to the table and looked down at my handiwork. There, above her pubis, was a glowing pink tattoo—a heart surrounded by curving wings, reminiscent of the shape of her womb. And there, curving along the outside and written in the local language, were the words: 'Lalatina Dustiness Ford, property of Michael Stark.' Tapping into my orb, I created an illusion to show her what she looked like.
"What do you think?" Darkness studied the illusion of herself, her body growing progressively redder, and as she did I said, "You're mine forever now. This isn't going to go away. It's a mithril tattoo, enchanted to repair itself and you if you try to dig it out. Anyone who looks will be able to see, and we're going to make sure that your family sees it. If you try to run away, if you get outside of ten miles from me without me approving it, you'll be teleported to my side. If you try to fight me, your body will stop moving like a puppet with its strings cut. Your body is mine to do with as I see fit. I can control your every movement, your every word, with just a thought."
Just to demonstrate that, I flicked a finger at her and sent the mental command to it to move her arm for me. A smack! echoed in the room as Darkness slapped her own face, hard. Then, I made her say, "Thank you, sir! May I have another?"
Immediately after the words left her mouth, she moaned, her fists clenching the sheets beneath her tightly. I reached out and stroked her belly, running my fingers over her new tattoo. "If you obey me, you'll be rewarded. Fail to obey, and you'll be punished—and not in a way you'll enjoy. That extends to your training and fighting, as well. I've devised a little rewards program for you, if you work hard at being a good, upstanding Crusader who kills her enemies instead of just flailing at them with no intention to hit. If you act like a degenerate whore in public, I'll shut off your ability to feel pleasure or pain until you correct the behavior and act like the lady you are. Do you understand?"
Darkness gulped, swallowing her own drool as a deliriously happy smile pulled at her pretty lips. "Y-yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes… master?" she tried again.
"Good girl," I petted her. "Now, for your first reward. More humiliation!"
"N-no~, not, not that!"
I ignored her mewling and brought over the second tool. This one looked like a gun with a U-shape on the end. Roughly grabbing one of her titties, I brought her hard nipple up and put it between the ends of the 'U,' which adjusted down to press against either side of it. A moment later, I pulled the trigger and the gun snapped. Darkness flinched, then a confused look crossed her face.
"Huh?" I pulled the gun away, revealing a thick, unbroken circle of mithril that had been punched straight through her nipple. Dangling from the end was a small bell that tinkled beautifully when I flicked it. "I didn't feel anything?"
"Another enchantment on your tattoo. You'll see in a moment," I said, before doing the second nipple. Then, I adjusted a dial on the side of the gun to change the gauge and size of the ring. Reaching down, I spread her lips and pulled back her hood, exposing her clit. Darkness mewled as I pressed the ends against her flesh, then pulled the trigger with a snap, leaving behind a third ring under her little nub.
Making sure the tattoo had healed her properly, I put the ring gun with the tattoo stamp on the table. Leaning in, I kissed her cheek. "Deep breath, here it comes," I warned. She sucked in a breath and I told the tattoo to give her the exact sensations she would have felt without it shutting them down. Darkness's body went taut, bowing up from the bed as her mouth opened and she screamed silently, and her cunt leaked thick, viscous arousal from between her lips.
After a moment, she collapsed to her back, panting again. "Oh, oooh, master, that," she tried as she trembled weakly.
"Good?" I asked, and she nodded. I patted her thigh, before moving between her legs, my hands moving down to her thick, muscular thighs to spread them apart and leave her drooling pussy exposed to me. Darkness looked up at me, her blue eyes locking onto mine and looking suddenly vulnerable—as though just now realizing how permanent this all was. That I wasn't just playing, or joking.
"Wai—" she fell silent, but from the expression on her face, I could tell she realized immediately what had happened—that I'd ordered her body to stop talking. She started to sit up, only to abort the motion and relax back onto the bed, spreading her legs and reaching down to use her fingers to spread her pussy lips wide.
"I told you, you wouldn't have a choice in this. That I was going to take your virginity, whether you wanted it or not."
And yet, when I checked on her using her tattoo, I found she had immediately stopped fighting against the control the moment I'd taken her control away from her. She was excited and everything I could pick up from her said this was what she wanted. It makes sense though. She was honor bound to try to stop me, but once I showed that I was in control, that freed her from her obligations.
Pressing my cock against her entrance, I rubbed it back and forth, getting it good and wet in her own arousal. I stopped controlling her ability to speak and she began to moan immediately. "Here it comes."
I pressed against her and rocked my hips forward. Darkness shook her head back and forth, but I made her legs wrap around my waist and pull me in, inch by inch, until the head of my cock hit her cervix. There was still a bit left, so I pulled back a little, then pushed forward, forcing myself in the rest of the way and drawing a cry from the blonde's lips.
"There you go. Good girl," I soothed her, petting her thighs, hips, and belly as I gave her control of her body again. "How does it feel?"
"So full~," Darkness moaned.
"It's done. You'll never be able to marry anyone else, Lalatina." Reaching down, I captured her hands with mine, linking our fingers together as I laid myself out on top of her, squishing her large breasts between us and feeling the two warm, hard spots that were her new rings. Holding her hands above her head, I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Now… I'm going to show you how a husband should love his wife."
"N-n-no, you can't," she whimpered.
"Why not, Lalatina?"
Biting her lower lip, she looked away. "Because I might like it too much."
"That's the point," I chuckled. Tapping into her own orb, I had it clean her mouth, then leaned in and kissed her lips. As I did, I slowly pulled out of her tight cunt, her body squeezing me the entire way. She moaned quietly into my mouth and I settled into a slow, easy rhythm, enjoying the blonde's tight, fit and plush body beneath me. Darkness rolled her hips back into me, meeting my every thrust as she kept time, her hands squeezing mine tightly as she kissed back eagerly, desperately almost.
Tapping into her tattoo, I set it to slowly raise her body's sensitivity, about five percent with every thrust. Within moments, she was squirming beneath me and her pussy started to clench and tighten as she grew hotter and wetter. I paid enough attention to make sure she wasn't in pain—or at least, not any kind of pain she wouldn't like—as I plowed into her body. Eventually, her whole body clenched and she let go of my hands to wrap her arms around me in a hug along with her legs as she cried out into my mouth. She shook and shuddered, her pussy clenching tightly.
I fucked her harder, making her more sensitive with every thrust, as I pulled myself up and plowed her through her orgasm, my thrusts coming faster and harder. And then she began to howl for an entirely different reason. When I'd increased her sensitivity, I hadn't shut off her refractory period—and even if Darkness was thirsty as fuck, she still had that little weakness, and she'd never actually been fucked through it before.
She was left entirely over-sensitized, with her sensitivity already several times what it should be, and growing with every stroke. It would have been torture for anyone else. For Darkness, however… I think she saw the face of God as she came again as she squealed, tears leaking from her eyes and her body turning red, her cunt squirting around me as she ate up everything I was doing to her and reveled in it.
Pressing my lips to her ear, I asked, "Are you ready to get knocked up?" Darkness grunted, but that seemed to be the extent of her ability to respond—her brain having checked out. That wasn't a problem however, as her ridiculously sturdy body was still ready to go even if her feeble mind had rolled over and given up. My words must have bypassed her higher reasoning and gone straight to her subconscious, as she clenched down harder around me and began thrusting back harder, clearly urging me to do exactly as I'd promised.
Grabbing her wide hips, I pumped into her deep and hard, before burying myself in her cunt and letting go with a groan as I came hard enough to see spots, feeling like I was pumping a gallon of molten iron into her body as I filled her up. Darkness's tattoo glowed brighter and she howled as one of the conditional triggers went off—directly feeding her body pleasure the moment the tattoo detected my sperm inside her body. Her eyes rolled up in her head as her body milked me for all it was worth.
When I came down, I collapsed on top of her with a sigh, wrapping my arms around the blonde in a hug. Darkness lay there for a few moments, panting quietly as she recovered and her body came down from its mind-breaking level of sensitivity. Eventually, she sobbed quietly and buried her face in my shoulder, and I felt hot tears as she clung tightly to me.
"I really can't get married now. No one else will have me," she murmured, rubbing her face into me.
"No one else would want a disgusting, used up sow like you, no," I confirmed, and I felt her clench around me at the words. I squeezed her harder and kissed the top of her head, petting her back as I slowly began to stroke in and out of her again. "That's okay though. I have a use for you."
"You do?"
"I do. I'll take care of you, Lalatina."
"You will?" she asked, sounding vulnerable and pathetic. "Even though I'm, I'm like this? I'm not like Yunyun. I know… I know you don't really enjoy hurting me."
"No, I don't," I confirmed. "But you do." She nodded. "And someone who would enjoy hurting you the way you want wouldn't give you this. And you like it, don't you?"
"I do~," she whimpered, kissing my shoulder. "I want both! I, I want to be hurt and treated like trash. But now that I've had it, I want to be treated like a wife too! This is what I was afraid would happen! I really can't live without both anymore."
Chuckling, I pulled her head back and kissed her lips. "I promised you I'd take care of all of your needs, didn't I?" I asked, and she nodded. "You're mine, from now on. My mistress." She bit her lip and nodded. "My pet." Another nod as she squeezed a bit harder. "My slave." Her cunt clenched around me and I felt her nails dig into my back as she nodded enthusiastically. "So it's my job to look after you. You don't have to worry about anything, other than what I tell you. Understand?"
"Yes, master," she agreed with a little smile.
"Good. Now, I'm going to make love to you again."
"P-please do!"
I kissed her, my hands roaming over her body and hers over mine as we made love again. Until eventually, the bedroom door opened and Yunyun and Wiz joined us, some time later. When I finished with Darkness, I kissed her lips again. "I think it's time I show you what these are for," I flicked one of her nipple rings.
When she raised an eyebrow, I sent a build order to my cube. Yunyun and Wiz watched from the bed as I got to work.
First, it put a couple of steel rings in the ceiling. Then, it created a length of silk rope. I pulled Darkness to her feet and tied her up, getting her arms behind her back and her tits bound so that the rope squeezed them hard enough to turn them red. I levitated her into the air a bit, bringing her legs up and tying her ankles to her wrists. Then, I had the cube produce another set of ropes—these with latching rings on the ends and a rounded hook on the last one. The latching rings went into the rings on her nipples and clit, while the rounded hook went into the blonde's ass with just a grunt from her.
"Is there anything you need before bed? Bathroom? Water?" I asked, and the shook her head. I sent another build order and produced a gag, which I fitted into her mouth and latched behind her head. Threading the lines through the eyes of the rings in the ceiling, I lifted her up, putting her body weight on them. The blonde's eyes went wide and she squealed into her gag as I settled her head at my head height and tied her off. She was forced to choose between putting all the weight on her nipples and clit, on her ass, or trying to balance between the two like this. With the rings inside her as thick as they were and made of mithril, and her body as sturdy as it was, there was no danger of accidentally pulling them out of her and hurting herself.
Once she was settled and her initial reaction had died down to panting through her nose, I rested my hand on her cheek. "Are you okay?" Darkness nodded. "Does it hurt?" Another nod. "Bad hurt?" A shake of the head. "Good hurt?" A nod. "I'm going to leave you like this overnight. Do you think you can bear it?" An enthusiastic nod.
Patting her cheek, I kissed her forehead. "Alright. I'm going to neglect you for the rest of the night. You can watch while I make love to Yunyun and Wiz. Watch us, Darkness. Watch how much I'd rather be with my younger, prettier, wholesome and not at all degenerate girlfriend and even the cursed lich—a literal living corpse—than you, until you clean your act up and act like a lady all the time. Okay?" She whimpered through the gag and nodded. "If you need anything, well, too bad. I offered. If you make a mess on my floor, I'll make you lick it up. Good night."
As I climbed into bed, Wiz asked, "She's… kind of broken, isn't she?"
"You have no idea."
"Michael~," Yunyun purred, drawing my attention. "I saw the other girls in the village watching. They looked jealous. Can we go back tomorrow and introduce you to them?"
"Sure," I agreed. "Did that make you happy?"
"Mm!"
"Good. Come help me make Wiz squeal, then I'll take good care of you."
"Eep!" Wiz yelped, but began giggling immediately as we double-teamed her.
The entire time, Darkness watched intently, her pussy leaking my sperm and her own arousal down her thighs. Of course, the tattoo kept her at a minimum level of arousal, but that wasn't all. Every time she thought about how beautiful, sexy, or desirable Wiz and Yunyun were, she was rewarded with a thrill of pleasure. When she thought about how much of a degenerate whore she was for watching us, for enjoying being left out, she was rewarded with mixed pleasure and pain. When she tried to pleasure herself by rocking back and forth on the ropes, she was rewarded with more pain. And finally, after the girls fell asleep and I kept an eye on Darkness, when she finally grew tired and wanted to sleep, the tattoo put her into a deep, peaceful slumber—disturbed only by the pleasure coming from the tattoo that slowly cycled up and down as she slept.
The next morning, Darkness was a changed woman when I brought her down off the hook. Submissive and demure, affectionate and shy, and craving touch. I took her into my shower and fucked her ass while pulling on the rings through her nipples, before leaving her in a mess on the floor of the shower and telling her to get cleaned up and come out for training. After that, she was back to her usual self… if a little more eager for attention.
My plans for the day changed shortly after dropping off Wiz and Yuiyui at the shop, and I contacted Yunyun to let her know we could go visit the village that afternoon. Instead, I followed a head of short, purple tinted silver hair and a flash of green heading into the city.
She was quick. Very quick and very agile, but I had a cheat, in that I could just send a magical point of view after her. Watching her move, I studied her body appreciatively. Small, muscular, lithe. Small breasts, tight ass. Her short shorts and what amounted to a sports bra showed off her toned stomach and the curve of her hips.
Very sexy, I mused, watching the sway of her hips and the way her small, perky titties bounced.
She stepped into an alley and I paused as she neared a turn. As soon as she was around it, I turned into the first alley behind her. I was kind of surprised when she simply disappeared from my magical sight. That must be 'Lurk.' I'm going to have to come up with a countermeasure.
"Oi! Why're you following me?! Are you some kind of creep?"
I turned and found she'd slipped behind me somehow, and was standing between me and the mouth of the alley, her arms crossed under her breasts and glaring up at me.
"Just who I was looking for," I sent her a grin.
"Eh? I've never met you."
Snorting quietly, I fished out a gold eris coin from my pocket. Her eyes tracked the coin as I rolled it over my knuckles, moving it up, down, left, and right as I stepped closer, before palming it and holding up my hands to show they were empty. Reaching behind her ear, I returned it from between my fingers and held it out for her to see, before flipping it around so she could see the face of it.
"Neat trick. I'll be going, now!"
"Sure thing, Eris." She froze. "Right after we discuss what you owe me."
Her purple eyes studied my face for a moment. "It's Chris. I'm an adventurer. A thief—"
"Also Eris, the goddess of Luck and Fortune."
"Ha ha ha. Nooo~, that's, that's just silly! Ha ha, why would a goddess be on the mortal plane? They can't come here, you know!"
"Only a goddess or someone who knew their rules would know that. As for how, I imagine it's pretty simple for you to just make a mortal body to sock puppet down here. And why? Not actually sure, but maybe we can help each other. So. What do you say?" I offered her my hand. "I'll make you lunch and we can talk privately."
Looking up at me, she pouted. Taking a deep breath, she let it out in a huge sigh. "I'm busted, huh?"
"Yep," I agreed.
"Fine! Alright, Michael. I guess I do kinda owe you an explanation at least."
"At minimum."
She took my hand and I teleported us back to the manor's kitchen, pulling her through the anti-teleport wards with me. Chris took a seat at the table as I began putting together a couple of sandwiches. "So… I was pretty sure your, uh… Your brain went poof, just a bit."
"It did," I confirmed. "A little while ago I sort of remembered parts of being upstairs. Mostly just the room and seeing you. None of what happened. So, let's start there."
Quietly, she asked, "Don't want to know how you died? How your family are doing?"
"No. And could you tell me if I asked?"
"I could."
I shook my head. "I'm sure they're fine and have moved on without me. You pulled me from a different world than the one you usually get suckers from, didn't you?"
"Hehe!" she giggled, grin going wide. "I love the smart ones. Yep! It's uh, think of it like… Well, you understand the solar system, right?" When I nodded she said, "It's like that, but not. But let's say it is. The closer you are to the center, the more you can see of the whole. We usually get people from around Uranus—"
"There's a joke in there about an asspull."
The girl snickered, but left it be. "If you were from the sun, you'd see everything—a prime Earth with access to the multiverse. You're from Earth. Not quite in the middle, but still on the inside and still a good view. Normally, souls from that far in tend to drift closer to the center, but for whatever reason, yours wanted out. You got close and I snapped you up. That's how you know about this place, and me, and lots of other places. Because for you, you may have seen places like this in dreams, visions, or stories. So you know the general shape of things, even if you don't know the details."
"Yeah, that's about right for everything I've experienced so far. People are generally how I believe they should be."
"Mm!"
"So, let me guess. I'm on a 'get rid of the demon lord' deal?"
"Yup! You're a summoned hero! Your chosen ability was—"
"Matter and knowledge ex nihilo, allowing me to make something from nothing."
"Bingo! If you can imagine it, you can find a way to make it work within this world's framework and create it. It's an upgraded version of a power we last handed out, oh…"
"Before the Crimson Demon clan were created."
She nodded. "Right. The crazy old guy. So. Now that you know why you're here, you're onboard, right?"
Considering her for a moment, I shrugged. "Maybe."
"Maybe?! Come oooon! I need your help!" she whined. "We've gotta kill this guy already."
"On a few conditions. First, you're going to tell me how the system works. Why we need to kill the demon lord or king of whatever. Secondly, I need a personal favor from you. And third… I need to know if anything I've done has broken any sort of divine rules."
Chris sighed. "Alright, fine. Short version: the demon lord just being alive makes monsters stronger. Once we kill him, another one won't be chosen for another hundred or so years, then the cycle will repeat. That's how it's always gone, and I don't know that there's any way to stop it, before you ask. As for rules, no, you haven't broken any." She glared at me, "Even if what you're doing is awful and horrible! Now, what kind of favor?"
"I need a rez."
The thief blinked. "You've got one. Every hero gets a freebie, just in case you mess up."
"Great, then I want to cash it in."
"Huh? But… you're alive."
"Oh, not for me."
"What, your wife or something? A dog?"
I rolled my eyes. "Never married. No, a person. Here. On this world. Have you ever met Wiz?"
Immediately, she winced and made a disgusted face. "Ugh. Yes. But she's a lich!"
"Exactly. I want you to use my rez to bring her back."
Chris shuddered. "I don't think you get it, Michael! Gross things are gross! And that's pretty grody! She's foul! Undead are unclean!"
"Yes, but look at it this way. If you resurrect her, she won't be undead anymore. Just a normal human archwizard."
Chris opened her mouth, only to pause and consider it. After a moment, her mouth clicked shut and she nodded. "Yeah, okay, I can see that. But… you know this is your one rez, right? You won't get any more! Are you sure—"
"Yes," I cut her off. She blinked and I asked, "You were going to ask if I'm sure I want to blow a do-over on bringing back a lich, right? The answer is yes."
Chris sighed. "Fine. Alright. I'll do it. But she has to die first. Die die. Which, in the case of a lich, means destroying her. I'll be waiting 'upstairs' tonight."
I reached out and laid my hand on top of hers, giving it a squeeze. "Thanks Chris. Eris. You know, you're my favorite goddess, right?"
The girl blushed and looked away. "I'm the only goddess you know," she muttered. Quieter, I heard her grumble, "Why is stupid selfless hero crap such a turn-on?"
"So, while I've got you here, mind if I ask a few questions?"
The goddess in human form shrugged. "Sure. Why not? What do you want to know?"
"Why are you down here and how can I help? I'll be glad to repay the favor you're doing me for Wiz any way I can."
Needless to say, that conversation was… enlightening.