Chapter 1: Why Are These People Acting So Weird?
In a cracked courtyard behind a rundown house, Jin Zixuan sat in a plastic chair, eating cold instant noodles like a man on death row.
He looked… calm. Too calm.
Mostly because he wasn't surprised.
He'd transmigrated into a novel — one he'd dropped at chapter 47.
And apparently, he was the real young master of the elite Feng family.
["Of course. Can't even die normally. I'm in a dog-blood plot with a fake young master and a hundred slap scenes incoming. Fantastic."]
Just as he downed the last noodle, the silence broke with the sound of car doors outside.
A convoy of luxury sedans had stopped outside the gates.
From the lead car, Feng Lixue stepped out — graceful, commanding, and carrying the guilt of eighteen years like a purse. Behind her, Feng Yuhan, her husband, looked grim. Four elegant girls followed.
The Feng family.
Real ones.
They had come to take him home.
He didn't get up.
Just poked at the soggy noodles with his chopsticks.
Feng Lixue approached carefully. "Zixuan... we've come to bring you back."
["Took you long enough. Did the original plot need to marinate first?"]
Feng Ruyin froze. "…Did he just—?"
"I heard it too," whispered Feng Mingxia. "But he didn't move his lips…"
Jin Zixuan:"You brought a lot of people."
["What is this, a retrieval mission or an exorcism?"]
Feng Yuhan's eye twitched. Lixue's expression cracked.
The second daughter, Feng Qingxue, stared with wide eyes.
["Let me guess… that one's the 'ice queen with hidden warmth' type. Or the 'secretly obsessed' version. Ew."]
"...He's describing me like a manga character," Qingxue muttered.
Jin Zixuan (out loud):
"Thanks for coming. I guess."
["Though if you think I'm going to cry and hug you, congrats. Your brain's on layaway."]
The Feng family tensed up like a string about to snap.
[Ding!]
[Melon-Eating System 'Ergouzi' activated]
Host! Ready to watch your life explode in real time?
["Good. What's the fake young master up to?"]
[System Notification]:
Feng Liangchen is bribing the maid to frame you for cheating at school. Timeline: 2.3 days. Petty Level: Amateur Hour.
["Weak. If you're gonna villain, at least go full telenovela."]
Feng Yuhan blinked rapidly.
Madam Feng gripped her shawl.
The eldest daughter Feng Zhiwei suddenly muttered, "Cheating at school… didn't he accuse Jin Zixuan of that once before?"
"I thought Zixuan did cheat," said Ruyin.
["Of course you did. Everyone in this script has the IQ of a pothole until the plot tells them to wake up."]
"...He's right," Ruyin whispered, clutching her temples.
Jin Zixuan (out loud):
"Alright. I'll come with you."
["Gotta keep the plot going somehow. Better I see the train wreck from the front row."]
The family collectively flinched again.
[System Notification]:
Su Ningxue, fiancée, arriving tomorrow. Drama Index: 98%. Face Slap Probability: 99.2%.
["Oh hell no. Not the plastic princess. What's she gonna do, accuse me of stealing her lip gloss?"]
"…He knows her catchphrase…" muttered Mingxia.
Jin Zixuan (out loud):
"You all seem… tense?"
["Why are they looking at me like I just slapped Buddha? Chill. I'm just thinking in peace."]
The entire Feng family stared at him in stunned silence.
Not a single one of them realized — he had no idea they could hear it all.