The next day, I was jolted awake by Yan Shi's scream—my eardrums nearly shattered. She stood right beside me, pointing at my face and asking, "Little Zhang Cheng, what happened to your face? Why's it all swollen like a pig's head? And didn't you tell me last night you weren't coming back? Not only did you come back, but you also turned into Zhu Bajie!"
I grumbled, "Can't you see I'm still sleepy?" Yan Shi smirked and said, "Nope." She pulled up a chair, rested her chin on her hand, and just sat there staring at me. Then she started giggling, saying, "You weren't much of a looker to begin with, but now that you've turned into a pig-head, you're even uglier." She patted my shoulder reassuringly, "Don't worry, though. No matter how ugly you get, I won't abandon you."
I never expected this crazy woman to comfort me, so I ignored her and turned my head away. Yan Shi let out an "Oh?" and asked, "What, are you mad?" I muttered, "I still want to sleep. Stop bothering me." She sighed and said, "Fine, since you're now a pig-head, I'll let you off the hook for morning jogs today. But you have to tell me the truth—how'd your face get like this?"
I knew that once Yan Shi latched onto a question, she wouldn't let go until she got an answer. So I lied, "Well, last night was my classmate's birthday, right? Got into a fight at the club."
Yan Shi "Ohh"-ed and asked, "Did you win or lose?" I said, "Probably won?" She scoffed, "What do you mean, 'probably'? How can you not know if you won or lost?" Then she asked, "How bad was the other guy hurt?" I replied, "I stabbed a beer bottle into his stomach."
Yan Shi nodded approvingly. "Not bad. At least you didn't embarrass the Zhang family."
After that, she went for her morning jog, but before leaving, she reminded me, "Sleep a little longer if you want, but get up soon. We're having a guest over today—a young married woman. Every man's dream."
Thanks to Yan Shi's antics, I couldn't fall back asleep. Shortly after she left, I got up to use the bathroom. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I nearly jumped—overnight, my face had swollen into a full-blown pig's head. I quickly took the anti-inflammatory painkillers the doctor had prescribed.
When Yan Shi returned from her jog, she brought back a bunch of groceries. She said she was going to cook for the guest and that after lunch, they'd go shopping, so I'd have to take the bus back to school myself. I agreed—honestly, I didn't like Yan Shi dropping me off at school anyway. With her stunning looks, she drew way too much attention.
Later, Yan Shi declared herself the "head chef" and ordered me to assist her. Around 11 AM, the guest arrived.
She seemed about the same age as Yan Shi but was already married. Yan Shi introduced her as her college bestie, Wu Wu. At first, I didn't catch the name, but Yan Shi explained, "The surname 'Wu' as in martial arts, and the given name 'Wu' as in dance." Only then did it click—Wu Wu. Honestly, the name sounded ridiculous to me.
Wu Wu was quite pretty, with a great figure. When she saw my face, she stared curiously and asked Yan Shi, "What happened to your brother?"
Yan Shi casually replied, "He was flirting with a married woman and got beaten up when he got caught." I quickly defended myself, "Don't listen to her! I'm not like that!"
Wu Wu chuckled and said, "I get it. Yan Shi loves teasing people—the closer she is to someone, the more she messes with them. The fact that she teases you like this means she's fond of you." I felt like this young married woman truly understood me, so I immediately put down what I was doing and poured her a glass of water.
Later, Yan Shi called me into the kitchen to help, but Wu Wu cut in, "I'm the guest here. You expect me to sit alone in the living room while you cook? Handle it yourself—I want your cousin to keep me company."
Now, I have this problem—whenever I'm around a gorgeous woman, I get nervous. Sitting across from Wu Wu, I had no idea how to keep the conversation going. The atmosphere turned awkward, so I just pushed the plate of sunflower seeds toward her and said, "Have some."
Wu Wu grabbed a handful, nibbled on a few, and then asked where I went to school. I told her, "City Vocational College."
Eventually, the topic shifted to Yan Shi. Wu Wu lowered her voice and asked, "Does Yan Shi have a boyfriend?" I said, "She's never brought one home. Whether she's seeing someone outside, I wouldn't know." Wu Wu sighed, "Guess she's still single." Then she added, "I actually tried setting her up on a blind date—even scheduled a time—but she stood the guy up." She nudged me, "You should talk to her. She's not getting any younger—it's about time she settled down."
I nodded along, but internally, I knew I had zero influence over Yan Shi. There was no way she'd listen to me.
When Yan Shi finished cooking, she called us to the table. After we started eating, she asked smugly, "So, how's the food?" Wu Wu nodded, "Not bad. Your cooking's improved." Yan Shi grinned, "Of course! I've been taking lessons lately. They say if a woman wants to win a man's heart, she first has to win his stomach."
Wu Wu rolled her eyes. "Oh please, there's no man in your life to win over." Yan Shi pointed at me. "What do you mean? Isn't our Zhang Cheng a man?" Wu Wu shrugged. "You know what I mean—a boyfriend."
Yan Shi huffed. "Like I'd have trouble finding one? Do you know how many men I turn down for dinner every day?"
Wu Wu gave her a look. "Yeah, yeah, we get it. You're amazing." Yan Shi smirked. "Xiao Wu, you just got married too early."
She then cheerfully said, "Alright, eat up. After this, Xiao Wu and I are going shopping. If there's anything you want, just say the word—I'll buy it for you."
I shook my head. "Don't need anything."
Yan Shi added, "You're heading back to school by yourself this afternoon, right?" I nodded. "Yeah." Then I buried myself in my food.
But before I could even finish one bowl, I felt a soft, delicate foot gently rest on top of mine.