Outside the Palace Gates, the golden gates loomed tall and dramatic, their intricate designs glinting in the sunlight. A squad of royal guards flanked Kai from the sides, hoping to escort him out of the palace. However, with a single raise of the prince's hand, all of the guards had stepped back immediately, their movements swift and obedient.
Following after, the palace gates were swung open, and Kai and Sir Cuddlebottom rode their horses out of the palace, the sound of hooves echoing through the air. Cuddlebottom, looking puzzled, turned to Kai and asked, "Why did you stop the guards? Won't they be following us on our journey?"
Kai's response was casual, his tone confident. "Nope, there will be no need for guards," he said. "I asked Father for discretion. And besides, what part of 'MILF pilgrimage' screams subtle when I bring a cavalry?" He chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
Cuddlebottom's confusion deepened. "But sire, the forest-- how will we survive the journey with no guards?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. Kai's response was reassuring. "Don't worry, I have you and my prince's luck. We're going to be fine."
Cuddlebottom groaned, his face expressive. He was seated gracefully on a black stallion, dressed in a three-piece riding suit that accentuated his slender frame. "I assume I get hazard pay for risking my life and safety for your highness?" he asked, his voice dry.
Kai nodded solemnly, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "You'll get a lot of young girls that you like that the palace can't offer." Cuddlebottom's response was a low, husky laugh. "Tempting," he said, his eyes glinting with interest.
With Kai gallantly straddling a majestic white horse named Ododolo, which means "Innocence Lost," he flicked the reins and pointed ahead, his voice ringing out across the landscape. "Now we march into seduction, glory, and marriage that no one has ever seen in this kingdom!" The words hung in the air, and the atmosphere seemed to shift in response.
Birds chirped in harmony with the prince's declaration, their melodies intertwining with the rustling of leaves and the soft clip-clop of the horses' hooves. Flowers bloomed, their vibrant colors adding a splash of vibrancy to the scene. It was a good day to begin a questionable quest, the kind that would be remembered for years to come.
However, not two hours into their journey, the landscape shifted, and the trees grew taller and closer together, casting deep shadows that seemed to writhe on the ground. The air grew thick with the scent of damp earth and decaying leaves. They arrived at the forest, a place notorious for its wild animals and bandits who were just as deadly.
As Kai and Cuddlebottom rode through the oddly quiet forest, the silence was oppressive, punctuated only by the soft sounds of their horses' hooves on the forest floor. Suddenly, the leaves rustled beside them, and a group of bedraggled bandits leapt from the bushes, their swords and masks a testament to their dubious profession. However, their poor posture detracted from their intimidating appearance.
"Halt, travelers!" the lead bandit yelled, his voice gruff and commanding. "Hand over your gold, your valuables, and the delicious old man!" The man said, his eyes fixed on Cuddlebottom with an unseemly gleam in his eye, his tongue darting out to lick his lips.
Cuddlebottom's eyebrow arched in response, his face a picture of incredulity. "Excuse me?" he said, his voice dripping with disdain, his tone a perfect blend of amusement and annoyance. The bandits, seemingly unaware of the danger they were in, stood their ground, their eyes fixed on their potential prey.
Kai dismounted from his horse with a fluid motion, his movements almost ethereal. As he stepped forward, he drew out a rose from his pocket, its delicate petals unfolding like a tender gesture. Cuddlebottom's eyes widened in alarm, and he reached out to stop Kai. "Your high... I mean, young master, you can't go near them," he said, his voice laced with concern.
But Kai was undeterred, his gaze fixed on the bandits ahead. "Stand back, old man," he said, his voice calm and authoritative. "I've trained for this." With the rose held delicately in his hand, he walked forward, his steps measured and deliberate.
The bandits watched him approach, their faces twisted in laughter. One of them muttered under his breath, "He brought a flower to a sword fight?" The words were barely audible, but Kai's ears picked up the sound. He twirled the rose, its stem rotating between his fingers like a tiny dance.
"This flower is sharper than your wits," Kai said, his voice low and even. "You shouldn't underestimate it." The bandits laughed again, their jeers and catcalls filling the air. One of them stepped forward, his face twisted in a sneer. "Oh really?" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "How about you shove it up your ass? Huh?"
Kai's expression didn't change, his eyes never leaving the bandits. "Hmm, do you think so?" he said, his voice a gentle murmur. He had stopped walking, his figure poised in front of the six or so bandits, with the leader standing prominently at the forefront. The air was heavy with tension, the silence between them thick and palpable.
"Sorry, but I think this is much better," Kai said, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. With a swift motion, he threw the flower into the air, and it burst into a cloud of petals, releasing a dense smoke that enveloped the bandits. The air was suddenly filled with the sound of coughing and choking, as the bandits stumbled about, their eyes streaming from the irritant.
Their vision obscured, the bandits stumbled about, desperate to escape the cloud. Panic set in, and they turned to flee, their movements chaotic and uncoordinated. One of them, in his haste, tripped over his own sword and fell face-first into a nearby mud pit, his cry of dismay muffled by the sound of his own spluttering.
As the smoke began to spread, Kai swiftly retreated to his horse, mounting with ease as he turned to Cuddlebottom. "Let's take a different route," he said, his voice calm and collected. Cuddlebottom couldn't help but laugh hysterically as they rode off, his voice echoing through the forest.
"BEHOLD! PRINCE KAI'S ROYAL PACKAGE—AVERAGE YET MIGHTY!" he exclaimed, his words dripping with sarcasm and admiration. "Bravo, sire. You have just traumatized the criminal class with a rose." Kai's response was nonchalant, as he brushed the dirt off his shoulders with a gloved hand. "A true prince must sparkle under pressure, you know," he said, his voice smooth as silk.
Cuddlebottom's laughter continued to ring out, a stark contrast to the bandits' panicked cries, which were slowly fading into the distance. As they rode on, the forest seemed to grow quieter, the trees watching with silent approval as the prince and his butler disappeared into the trees.