Fuck, I don't wanna work.
Is there no way to become some elite asshole without lifting a finger? Other than getting reborn, obviously.
What if I got TS'd into a silver-haired, big-titted beauty and fucked up the streaming world?
"Oh, shit, I pulled an SSR!"
This black-haired chick with huge tits looks like my sister.
"Streaming's not something any dumbass can do."
Just thinking about slaving over some beef broth makes me wanna pass out. Anything I do would probably get my ass a new "Controversy" tab on NamuWiki. Maybe I should just say fuck it and become an actor in showbiz?
But could a fucking loser like me, even with a Cha Eun-woo face, actually make it as an actor?
Ugh, fuck that.
No goddamn way.
Still, being born hot as fuck would be nice, right? I'd probably score a big-titted girlfriend who'd fuck me just for my face, so I could ditch the fleshlight.
That feels like wasting a pretty face, though. Anything more than that sounds like a fucking hassle.
"Shin Jang-seok's touch-dreeeam~ It'll fuck everything up~. 'Got three pulls in a 10-roll, fuck, I don't need this shit…'"
Done writing.
The key is dopamine.
Dopamine you can milk without leaving a shitty 10-pyeong two-room dump. You can live a fun life with this kind of low-effort fuckery—as long as you're cool with most of your urges getting fucked over.
At least I can jerk off, right? Cheers to that shit~.
"Trash normalization, motherfucker!"
I haul out the piled-up garbage, clean my shithole of a room, and whip up some food to shove in my face.
I don't work.
Back in the day, a '90s-born hikikomori like me would've been ashamed or had to deal with society's bullshit glares. But now, tons of young fuckers just chill without working.
The problem's this shitty world that doesn't make you wanna try.
Don't get me wrong, though.
I'm not gonna whine about the obvious bullshit that gold-spoon bastards start life on easy mode while we're fucked, diving into some depressing life-hating crap.
I'm just saying, getting shit on for doing nothing and chilling isn't fair, is it? The real issue is this fucked-up world that kills any urge to try.
We need to normalize this abnormal bullshit.
"Isn't there a world where just being born with a dick is enough to make it?"
That's the only thing I've done right—being born with XY chromosomes and splitting cells like a champ.
"Our Jang-seok-kun's got XY chromosomes! Holy shit, that's amazing! Big sis will suck your cock as a reward♡"
…Hmph.
To live in a world where I'd hear that kinda shit, just flipping chastity norms wouldn't cut it, would it? Maybe a full fucking reboot's what we need.
Not like my life's depressing or anything.
Being a bit of a hikikomori doesn't make you a sad sack anymore—that's just normal shit now.
"Here's to another day, Rei."
The key is dopamine. And…
In my closet, I've got what every fucker probably has: a torso fleshlight—a fuck-toy molded like a woman's body, no arms or legs.
I stroke it.
I lovingly rub the ass that's taken my horny-ass urges over and over.
It's got a sailor outfit on, panties pulled to the side just a bit.
"Hey, how 'bout you wake the fuck up and get some wireless connection powers?"
"…"
No fucking response. This goddamn fleshlight is dead as shit. Well, it was never alive to begin with, so what the hell did I expect?
Of course it's not gonna talk back…
I toss the fleshlight on the bed, ready to pound it doggy-style like always, when…
*Ding-dong* ♬
"What the fuck?!"
Who the hell is it?!
"Shin Jang-seok. Open the fucking door."
It's my sister's voice.
Talk about shitty timing. I'm horny as fuck, fleshlight out, ready to go to town on it, and *now* my fucking sister shows up…
She didn't even say she was coming, damn it!
My sister's basically the assassin my parents sent to fuck up my life.
I'm structurally fucked, always groveling to her and Mom and Dad. The cold, hard truth is my useless, horny-ass life—jerking off all day—is only possible 'cause someone else is out there working their ass off to pay for it.
"Fuck me. This is some bullshit game."
If I'd been born some oil-money rich fuck, I wouldn't be dealing with this crap!
"Open the door, you lazy shit. I know you're in there."
This fucked-up world hates seeing anyone happy, so it throws random-ass misery at you like this.
*Creak.*
"Sis, what the fuck's up?"