It All Started With a Squirrel.
Not even an impressive squirrel.
Just your standard twitchy little fur-tube with anxiety issues.
Kito had been watching it from a tree in the gorilla outdoor pen, mimicking its movements, inching closer branch by branch until—
> Snap.
Crack.
Fling.
Kito didn't fall.
He launched.
One minute he was spying on a squirrel. The next minute he was outside the fence, armpit-deep in a decorative bush and blinking like a stunned cat.
No alarms.
No zookeepers.
No one saw.
Which, of course, meant:
> "Well. I'm free now. I guess I'm doing crimes." – Kito, internally
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Hour 1 – Suburban Reconnaissance
Kito trotted barefoot across a bike path, into the open arms of suburbia. Shirtless, leaf-covered, and entirely unbothered, he crossed into a quiet neighborhood like a rogue Sims character.
A jogger passed him.
Paused.
Stared.
Kito stared back, bent at the knees, and picked a leaf out of his hair like nothing was weird.
> "Are you okay?"
Kito replied by just staring at the jogger.
The jogger ran faster.
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Hour 2 – Lawnmower Warfare
Kito discovered sprinklers. He fought them like they were small water demons sent by the gods. He lost.
He also tried to ride a Roomba someone had thrown out near the curb.
It obviously didn't move, it was broken.
He declared it unworthy of his presence.
Later, he found a riding lawnmower.
He didn't know it was a lawnmower. But it had a seat and pedals, and that was good enough.
It roared to life.
> "I have invented the land beast! And i shall use it to take over the world!" he howled, before steering directly into someone's recycling bin.
It was the loudest explosion ever in the neighborhood, actually it was the only explosion ever in the neighborhood.
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Hour 3 – The Pool
He found a backyard pool.
There were floaties. He bit them.
There were kids. They screamed.
There were parents. They screamed louder.
Someone tried to hit him with a noodle. He took it as a duel.
> "YOUR FOAMY SWORD IS WEAK!" – Kito yelled mid-tackle
He left on his own after drinking pool water and immediately regretting it.
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Hour 4 – The Pizza Delivery Heist
Kito saw a man drop off pizza at a doorstep.
Waited until he walked away.
Then crept forward like a jungle cat.
Took one box.
Not the whole stack. Just one. Like a polite thief.
He sat on the curb, legs folded, shoving pepperoni slices into his mouth and throwing crusts at squirrels in revenge.
> "That's for making me get launched out of a tree," he muttered. He knows it's not the same squirrel, but it probably knows the squirrel he's talking about.
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Hour 5 – The Cursed Pants
Someone left laundry out to dry.
Big mistake.
Kito tried pants for the first time. They were too tight, definitely for a 12-year-old, and split immediately down the middle.
He wore them anyway.
He also wore a unicorn hoodie he found on a porch chair.
This is when people started calling the police.
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Hour 6 – Kito Becomes a Local Legend
By now, social media was on fire, the neighborhood's Facebook group has had hundreds of posts about him within the past hour, the most attractive the group as seen in years.
> "There's a shirtless jungle boy stealing pizza in my neighborhood."
>"He just licked my Ring camera and ran."
>"WHY DID I JUST SEE A DIRTY, HALF NAKED KID MOON THE GARBAGE TRUCK!?"
Kito danced on a mailbox.
He peed in a birdbath.
He accidentally set a car on fire, screamed, than ran away.
People peeked through their blinds like a horror movie.
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Hour 7 – The Capture
Eventually, the zoo staff showed up. Along with animal control, two police cruisers, and a woman named Rhonda who apparently thought she could "calm him with crystals."
Kito tried to flee across someone's trampoline.
He bounced once.
Lost balance.
Landed face-first in a decorative koi pond.
> "I died doing what I loved," he muttered to the fish.
They caught him wrapped in the unicorn hoodie, soaked, shoeless, and still holding a soggy slice of pizza.
He didn't resist.
He just asked:
> "Can I keep the hoodie?"
>"Absolutely not!" said the zookeeper, exhausted.
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Aftermath
The neighborhood now has a local legend: "The Naked Wild Arson."
Kito is grounded. Somehow. Even though he's a gorilla boy. What are they going to do? Take away his phone?
The zookeepers installed three new locks. Not knowing Kito didn't use the door.
The zoo had to pay for the car he destroyed, and the other extensive damage he caused.
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Kito's Post-Escape Review:
> "Freedom's overrated. But the pizza was good. It was worth it."
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