There are three main problems with planning a heist on another planet. The first is transportation.
Walking several hundred kilometers in bulky environment suits is slow, boring, and gives your enemies ample time to detect you, kill you, and use your helmets as decorative serving bowls.
Minerva: I have accounted for this. Scans indicate the Madakaros utilize a network of high-speed magnetic levitation trains for transport between outposts.
There is a service junction approximately five kilometers from our current position.
"So we're hopping a train?" Quynh Nhu asked, her eyes lighting up. "A space-train robbery? My resume for 'Cosmic Troublemaker' is getting better and better."
"We are not robbing it," Lin Ming corrected patiently. "We are borrowing it. Very politely. Without anyone noticing."
This brought them to the second problem: bulky environment suits. They were cumbersome, noisy, and screamed 'Hey, look at us, we're aliens who can't breathe your air!'
Lin Ming had a solution for this. Ever since his breakthrough to Foundation Establishment, his body's need for oxygen had drastically decreased. His cells were primarily fueled by his own internal cycle of Fairy Qi.
He could hold his breath for hours. As long as he didn't do any strenuous running, he could survive just fine in the thin Martian atmosphere. He took off his helmet. The air was cold and sharp, but breathable. Ish.
Pham Tuan, with his stone-like physiology, could also manage for long periods. But Quynh Nhu was a different story.
"Nope. Not happening," she declared, clutching her helmet. "My face is a finely tuned instrument of sarcasm and good looks.
It is not designed for near-vacuum conditions. Besides, how am I supposed to drink my emergency milk tea in this wasteland?" She brandished a sealed thermos pouch she'd somehow smuggled aboard.
Lin Ming sighed. He walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, channeling a tiny, continuous stream of his life-affirming Fairy Qi into her body.
It was a minuscule amount, just enough to supplement her breathing and protect her from the harsh environment.
Quynh Nhu's eyes went wide. A warm, pleasant tingle spread through her body. "Whoa. What was that? I feel... tingly. And I don't need to breathe as much." She experimentally took off her helmet. "Hey! It works! You're like a walking life-support-and-tingle-generator machine."
[New Skill Discovered: Shared Life Support (Fairy Qi)!]
[Description: The Host can share his potent life force with others. Side effects may include pleasant tingles, unexplained feelings of warmth towards the Host, and a sudden urge to compliment his hair.]
[System Comment: The 'Tingle-Generator' is an excellent title. Let's add that to the list.]
With two out of three problems solved, they set off. Traveling in low gravity was an experience. Every step was an over-enthusiastic bound. Pham Tuan, still not used to it, misjudged a small leap over a rock and ended up sailing a good fifty feet before face-planting spectacularly in the red dust.
They reached the maglev train junction, a stark, metallic structure built into the side of the canyon. And there, they encountered the third problem with planning a heist on another planet: guards.
Two Madakaros warriors stood watch. They weren't Berserkers; they were disciplined, professional soldiers in sleek black armor, holding nasty-looking plasma rifles.
"Okay, boss," Quynh Nhu whispered, hiding with the others behind a large rock formation. "What's the plan? Do I 'Noodle' them? Or do you do your spooky rock-bending thing?"
Lin Ming looked at the two guards. They were chatting, bored. A perfect opportunity for some point farming.
"Neither," he said with a grin. "I'm going to try diplomacy."
Before Quynh Nhu could ask what brand of insanity he was now peddling, Lin Ming stepped out from behind the rock, calmly dusting off his jumpsuit. The two guards immediately snapped to attention, raising their rifles.
"Halt! Identify yourself!" one of them barked in the harsh Madakaros tongue. Lin Ming, thanks to Su Quyen's data chip, understood him perfectly.
Lin Ming put his hands up in a universal gesture of peace. Then, he pointed at a spot just behind the guards, his eyes wide with fake shock. "Oh my goodness! Is that Lord Maka-Jed's prized three-headed space-gopher? I heard it escaped this morning!"
The two guards froze. Their brain processors, designed for combat and discipline, short-circuited when faced with sheer, unadulterated nonsense.
Guard 1 turned to Guard 2. "Did you hear anything about a... space-gopher?"
Guard 2 just shrugged its three-eyed shrug. "The Lord Commander has many strange pets. It's possible."
They both, simultaneously, made the fatal mistake of turning around to look.
The moment their backs were turned, Lin Ming moved. He was a whisper in the thin air. Two swift, precise chops to the back of their necks. Both guards crumpled to the ground, unconscious, without making a sound.
[Victory by Unbelievable Stupidity!]
[The Host has successfully weaponized utter nonsense. Sun Tzu would be proud. Or very confused.]
[+600 Battle Will Points for a flawless, non-lethal takedown.]
Quynh Nhu and Pham Tuan emerged from behind the rock, staring.
"A three-headed space-gopher?" Quynh Nhu repeated, her voice full of awe. "That was your plan? That's what you went with?"
"You can't argue with results," Lin Ming said cheerfully, dragging the guards out of sight.
They approached the waiting train. It was a sleek, windowless magnetic shuttle, humming silently on its track.
Minerva: The train is automated. I can access its systems, but I'll need a physical connection point to override its destination protocols.
Lin Ming found the access panel. It was, of course, locked with a high-tech alien locking mechanism. Pham Tuan stepped forward. "Allow me."
"Wait, Tuan, don't just—" Lin Ming started.
Too late. Pham Tuan, forgetting he was in low gravity, put way too much force into his punch. Instead of just breaking the lock, his diamond-hard fist went clean through the access panel and halfway through the bulkhead of the train car, creating a large, jagged, and very noticeable hole.
He pulled his arm out sheepishly. "...Oops."
They all stared at the hole.
Minerva: The physical connection point is now... very accessible. However, the train's structural integrity has been compromised by 8%. And we now have a fifteen-minute window before a maintenance drone is automatically dispatched to investigate the 'spontaneous ventilation event'.
"Get in!" Lin Ming hissed.
They piled into the train. Minerva quickly took control, overriding the destination. The doors slid shut, and with a smooth, silent surge of acceleration, the space-train shot off into the Martian landscape.
Lin Ming looked at his team. Quynh Nhu was happily munching on her snacks, occasionally glancing at him with a tingly, curious expression. Pham Tuan was staring apologetically at his fist. He was piloting a stolen, damaged train on an enemy planet after having incapacitated two guards by lying about a mythical space-rodent.
[SYSTEM MISSION UPDATE: Mars Train Adventure!]
[Objective: Reach the Command Outpost without further breaking your ride.]
[Bonus Objective: Try not to attract the attention of any maintenance drones.]
[Comment: Things are proceeding with the expected amount of grace and competence. Which is to say, none at all.]