Now they were gathered right in front of Le An's sealed pheromone room: Emerald, the GAC doctor, and Theo. They were speaking in hushed, tired voices about Le An's condition. Last night, after his first injection, Le An had burned up with an inner heat that had nearly driven them insane, leaving them all restless and sleepless.
The GAC doctor rubbed his sleepless eyes behind his glasses, his voice raw. "If he won't be fully sane throughout the process, we can always tell him that it was he himself who requested an alpha mate."
Emerald, whose mind once bristled with rage at such words, couldn't bring himself to argue anymore. Inside him, guilt sat heavy, because he'd agreed to this. But alongside the guilt was a gnawing helplessness, the desperate wish to keep Le An healthy at any cost. "But… Le An told us clearly never to listen to him when he's in heat," Emerald said quietly.
"Then we tell him he insisted. That he begged for a mate and that he had changed his mind about it. And we'll say we believed him," Theo said, thoughtfully tapping his chin. He stood firmly on the doctor's side, the only way to stop Le An from lashing out at them once his heat was over might be to convince him it was his own idea.
Emerald's voice dropped to a bare whisper, more like a confession to himself. "We're going to mess with his mind…"
Le An would never expect them to lie to him, and even if he suspected, he would never say it out loud. He was too kind, too quiet to accuse them. None of them even acknowledged Emerald's muttered words.
Theo turned to the doctor. "So, what do we do now?"
The doctor stared at the sealed door as if he could see through it.
"The injection backfired. Since the active substance went straight into his bloodstream, his body reacted adversely. We'll keep drugging him with pills instead. Mr. Theo, please wake the treasure up and have him swallow them."
"Yes." Theo moved toward the door, the doctor's words echoing behind him. Inside, Le An was still half-awake, the medicine not strong enough yet to knock him out fully. Theo's steps faltered when he spotted Le An's robe, discarded on the floor. And there was Le An on the bed, half-naked, a thin sheet clinging to his hips, his slender back rising and falling with ragged breaths.
"Theo…"
Theo swallowed hard, eyes tracing the delicate lines of that figure under the sheet as he stepped closer, reaching for the pill bottles on the nightstand. "I'm here, Le An."
Le An's glassy eyes filled with tears as he looked up at him.
"Are you… really here?" he asked softly, that innocent voice stabbing straight through Theo's mind. It was the same voice he'd heard last night, speaking so tenderly to someone else in a dream.
"I'm here, Le An," Theo said, taking his hand.
"I feel… so restless…" Le An murmured, shifting uncomfortably on the bed, trying to hide the tension building in his hips.
Theo brushed a hand over his hair, his tone gentle. "The first day is always the worst. It'll pass."
Le An nodded faintly, the taste in his mouth bitter. His gaze drifted to the bottles in Theo's hands, and the special syrup that had been prepared. Obediently, he tried to push himself upright, but the heat cramping in his lower body made him shudder. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Don't, let me help you," Theo said quickly. He slid an arm behind Le An's shoulders, carefully lifting him. Le An's legs barely moved, his limp upper body falling against Theo's shoulder as he turned his face toward the pills.
"These will help relax your muscles," Theo murmured. "When the convulsions start to get worse, you'll feel less pain. Do you want something to help you sleep?"
"No," Le An said immediately. "It's always the worst when I wake up." And they both knew that the more Le An slept, the longer his heat would drag on and be delayed.
"Okay." Theo fed him the pills one by one, holding the water to his lips. Le An's eyes stayed glassy, betraying not a single hint that he understood what they were really doing to him.
When it was done, Theo asked softly, "Would you like more pheromones?"
Le An's cloudy eyes flickered up to meet his, unable to focus for long. "That would be nice, Theo."
Theo's lips curled into a tender smile, the sweetness tinged with something possessive as he looked down at the helpless figure. He released his scent slowly, letting it blanket the trembling body. Le An's arms and legs slackened, his breathing calmed, a tiny grateful smile curling his lips.
"Ha… T-thank you…"
"Always," Theo said, brushing his thumb over Le An's cheek. "We'll monitor your vitals through your watch. We won't interrupt unless you call for us. When it's too much for you to handle… summon us. And… I'll be here whenever you need me, my pheromones, okay?"
Le An's eyes fluttered, struggling to focus through the haze. After a long moment, he forced out a pained smile. "Okay…"
Theo was about to leave when Le An's voice caught him. "Theo…"
Theo turned back, forcing his expression to stay neutral.
"Yes, Le An?"
Le An stared at him, his voice a whisper. "Who made these medicines for me?"
Emerald always prepared his heat medicine. Though the taste was almost the same, Le An's senses told him something was different this time.
Theo's face stiffened for a moment. He wished he hadn't asked. He couldn't tell him the whole truth, but he could offer just enough to quiet him down.
"The GAC doctor prepared them. Emerald assisted with the process, and he said you don't need to worry about it."
Le An's lashes fluttered as he inhaled slowly. The GAC wouldn't even let him have his heat without meddling. He wanted to rage, to protest, but the mountain of papers he'd signed with them loomed in his mind. Protesting now would only give his advocates sleepless nights. He didn't want to trouble anyone more.
"Okay… Ha… it just… tasted different, so I wondered…" he whispered, voice crumbling.
Theo only nodded and stepped out, leaving him alone.
---
The first alpha mate the GAC had ever sent him, Le An's mind drifted back to that night, but not just remembering. He was hallucinating now, again and again. Pressing his hips desperately against the bed for any hint of relief, he saw that alpha's shadowy shape hovering above him. The face was always blurred, out of reach. That alpha had been Le An's first, and, as soon as he'd found out, he'd also been that alpha's last.
Not even realizing he was speaking aloud, Le An whimpered in the empty room. "I'm sorry… I never…"
At the same time, his body twisted in confusion, craving something, anything, but unable to find release. The sheet that once covered him was already discarded; the blankets were damp from sweat and cum from the few fleeting moments he'd managed to bring himself to climax. But now every drop of strength had fled his limbs, he lay there, too weak to even lift an arm, yet his hips still jerked with need.
The friction at his hips became a searing cramp. The tiny shred of shame that lingered crumbled entirely. He cried soundlessly. "Hic… Ugh… Hnnh…"
Whenever his mind began to go blank, the face of that first alpha came back to him. The face he'd been responsible for ending. The guilt, the self-loathing that rotted him from the inside out. And now the hallucination grew stronger, he saw the alpha looming over him, hands forcing him to look up, the phantom weight pressing him down.
"No… Hngnh… please…" he choked out, eyes screwed shut to block out the vision. "Don't do this to me…"
But the hands -cold, rough- kept moving over him, teasing him open from his hips to the base of his spine. "Hng… ah…"
His mind begged him not to give in, but his body… his body kept aching for more. This shouldn't feel good. But it did. It disgusted him.
He was so close to seeing the truth, to realizing it wasn't real, but fear swallowed him whole.
"Hic… no… I'm sorry… Don't, just don't..!"
He cried for an hour, clawing for any touch, any release, but found only agony. He dismissed the Theo he hallucinated over and over, sending him away countless times, yet every time he did, the fear grew worse. Eventually, he whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry… hic… please don't let them send anyone…"
The Theo in his hallucinations would soothe him, brushing his hair back. "Trust me, Le An. You're alone. I'm here."
Le An would shake his head, eyes wide. "I'm alone… right?"
But then another Theo appeared -more solid, more forceful- pinning his chin, forcing some pills into his mouth. "Shh. It's nothing, Le An."
And then that Theo would vanish too.
Sometimes a single flicker of clarity came to him, the cold realization that time, place, and his senses were all tangled and warped strangely. But the moment he touched that truth, it slipped away, buried under a new wave of fever dreams.
He got up, fell over, crawled back to bed, over and over, to prove to himself he was still okay. He bit his lip raw, smothering every sound. "I'm okay… I… ha… don't need… anything…"
But soon the words twisted themselves into something else. "I need someone… please… hold me."
The friction was useless; his fingers slipped between his thighs, trembling, but never brought him to release. His insides felt like they were tearing him apart. Sometimes, he thought about calling Theo for pheromones, but the idea of anyone seeing him like this made him curl up tighter instead.
Eventually, he passed out, and woke to warmth. Some voices, close.
Not yet. Send a beta guard. Yes, for new sheets. No… he can't… he'll pull out the IV and hurt himself… Wake him up… actually, he needs to eat…
"Th-Theo…"
Can he hear us?
"Yes, Le An," Theo said.
Le An's hand reached for his face, nuzzling closer. Was this Theo real? He rubbed his cheek against him, pressed his body closer. He felt so real.
"Le An." Theo's arms lifted him, and only then did Le An realize they were on the floor. He twitched, trying to cover himself, but Theo shushed him. He was real.
"Easy, Le An. I'm here. Shh. You're not naked, it's okay."
Le An wrapped his arms around Theo's neck, burying his face in his scent. He couldn't even speak.
"I'll take you to the bathroom. They'll change your sheets," Theo said, voice steady. Le An's eyes fluttered, his mind still drifting. "Hold me…"
"Okay."
But when Theo's hands brushed his body, Le An flinched, fear burning through the haze. "Don't… touch me like that… no… hngh…"
"Le An, Don't move like that, you'll hurt yourself-"
"Don't touch me now..!" Le An gasped, shoving the hands away. But the arms picked him up anyway, lifting him effortlessly. Through the blurring edges of his vision, he thought he saw it, a thin shadow slipping along the edge of the bed. His eyes fluttered.
A shadow… like, his shadow… Was he here? Le An's skin prickled, the hair at his nape standing on end.