i saw only blinding lights my eyes felt like they were burning
i felt like being lifted by the gods i couldn't understand why i am here
my body started crying i couldn't control it
is this the afterlife but i didn't die why i am here?
i tried to recall my memories
last night was like every other night
after working at my shit job i got screamed at by my boss i should do extra hours for no payment
i just left i didn't care for this job anyway
this job was just modern slavery only working to make the rich richer
after i got home i just played some videogames but it did not make any fun anymore after that i just watched some videos
i asked some friends to hangout or to do something but like last time no reply
i just wanted to talk to someone
my family?
no they wouldn't understand i don't need someone to tell me its alright
i need someone that could understand me
its not that i don't like my parents or my family i mean they are nice but sometimes i just think if i didn't knew them i wouldn't try to have contact with them they are just to different from me
i try to have some contact with them but i can see we rarely talk anymore
and my friend well are those guys even my friends after we all left school we had no contact anymore likely only school friends that you have only because you don't want to be all alone in school or for group projects
its just i don't want to die but does it matter they was no person i could always rely on someone who would call me his real friend
someone who would chose me in a room full of people but maybe in my life there was never such person
i tried to stop crying i wanted to wipe my tears but my body was to weak i could only watch as the white god lifted me
"Its a boy"
"heal her she is losing to much blood we are losing her"
"it wouldn't matter we only have enough time for her or the baby and the baby has a much higher chance"
i heard them this was not my end this was my new beginning
i could only only see some shapes two large persons one holding me and the other desperately trying to help a lying person
after this little time my eyes could see better and i saw a woman trying to survive the one guy helping her but the one holding me already looking like shes dead
"give me him" the woman already at deaths door talking in whispers
the person holding me gave me to her
i looked her in the eyes
this was the first person i saw in this time here
i saw the tears in her eyes she didn't have much time left she looked so weak and drained and like she should be already dead
was this my fault i didn't want to be here
but even after that she hold me like i was the most precious thing
was this true mother love
"Enzan please i know we are horrible for letting you alone but we know you can do it i sorry we may not be there for you but i know you can do it"
"life is gonna be tough but you're gonna find comrades friends or new family who are gonna help you and please not everyone is gonna be nice especially girls please just find someone that loves you as much as you love her"
even though i knew her for only some little minutes but i cared more about her than anything else this was my chance to have a real family and i already lost it
my little baby body couldn't hold it anymore it started crying as much it could do the doctor who didn't even wanted to try help my mother was shocked that she lived for so long and even talked most people would be already dead only a strong shinobi could live for so long
he took me from my dead mothers arms i just wanted to be with her