«Okay. Now, one more time. What's gotten into you? - Sitting on the edge of the bed and buttoning up the buttons, I questioned the hellcat.
«It's a period, what's not to understand, - Vessira mumbled from under the blanket, wildly embarrassed. We have such a period, when hormones take over and it lasts about half a takeda. And I liked you, and you admitted that you liked my company, and you've been teasing me for a long time, and... and... and... so I couldn't help myself.
«Mm-hmm.
«I guess you could say it's a species trait.
«Wow, a speciality. So you love... K-ha..." - I didn't have time to say it, as a light elbow hit my stomach, and a red, but at the same time angry Wes looked out from under the blanket.
«No, we don't. We get very attached to our life partners. When one spouse dies, the other spouse doesn't want to build a new relationship.
«What?!
«Shit, you are smart, intelligent, one of the best on the stream, and sometimes you are so dumb, - she resented, - Well, are all these hints so difficult to understand? We have high moral values, by the way. That's why I was looking at you at first, and what I saw, I... loved. And then I played. And you're good, too, always complimenting me and paying attention to me. In case you haven't noticed, you're the only one who gives me compliments like that. At first I thought that since you were giving them to other girls in our group, it means that you're with one of them, but I was the one who got the most attention. So I decided to take a chance. And, by the way, licking a partner is a way of recognising them as equals. And if a young Cathar makes this gesture to another, it's a direct offer of intimacy.
«I'm sorry, I didn't know that," I said. But I could see why some of the older guys would start smiling and even winking.
«Mm-hmm. Really... we have a bit of a problem with that.
«М?
«I... don't need much to enjoy myself. Unlike a man. That's why sometimes Cathars have more than one girl. And I was very afraid I wouldn't be able to satisfy you. As a woman. And with you complimenting other girls, I thought..." she was embarrassed and wrapped herself in the blanket.
«Mm-hmm," I could see where the fear was coming from. And I thought... - What's the big deal? Is telling a girl she's beautiful a bad thing?
«It's usually said to one's(!) girlfriend," they looked out of the blanket, "No one does that but you. Nobody does it at all. The girls and I had a conversation about it once. But we agreed it was just your behaviour.
«So you were jealous of me?
«That too, but I can understand that, because, as I said earlier, we don't need much, and we're quick to... well, it's... well, you know. So I could understand if you were looking for someone else. But from the look on your face, you didn't know that....
I didn't answer, just gave her a "how would I know that?!" look.
«That... did I make it?
«М?
«Well... satisfy. You," and that look, like she was facing a universal problem. No, if you look at it from a different angle, it's a really big problem, but...
«It worked, - I smile, remembering how quickly enough I rolled her, and then simply took pity and did not continue. Well... Weight survived one approach, yes, but she was not enough for the second one. But this disadvantage was made up for by her looks and cuteness, from which you can just sit and melt.
«Yeah? I got a suspicious look in my eye.
«Yeah.
«You sure? - They didn't believe me.
«I'm sure.
«Are you sure?
«The weight...
The stare got even more intense.
«Weight, relax, it's fine. In fact, it's great for a first time.
«Mm-hmm.
«But just so you know, I'm not very good with girls!
«I've already realised that," she nodded seriously.
«I can't talk about left field topics, just what I have.
«I know that too," she nodded.
«And I'm always missing somewhere.
«Are you talking to me? - I was looked up to.
«Ahem. Pretty much. And I'm not talking about my manners. Which aren't much," I turn to the katara and duck.
«Tell me about it. I still remember the first time we met, when you called me beautiful in front of everyone. And Cathars are not exactly the standard of beauty. And anyway, where has it ever been seen - to speak so freely such words to an essentially unknown... creature?! - Vessira either resented or admired.
«That's what I mean. Do you need it?
«I do! - immediately responds confidently, and, grabbing the neck, pulls on the bed, kissing.
«You're a quick learner.
«I'm more interested in where you learnt? - and he looks at me like I'm being interrogated.
«Well... Well... There was an experience. In the past, - I'm trying to avoid answering, - it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter anymore.
«Are you sure?
«Absolutely. So what now?
«Nothing," she lies on my stomach and, undoing a couple of buttons, runs a clawed finger along the contours of the pigmented spots on my chest. Wes's claws are very sharp, he sharpens them on purpose, and they can also extend. My back felt it perfectly, but thanks to the Force. - I just couldn't control myself. I didn't want to. I really liked you, though. If you were here more often, you'd know how much I've been bugging the girls about you.
«Yeah. They didn't say anything.
«They weren't silent, but you weren't listening," I was accusingly poked.
«I nodded, remembering how I'd been dragged out of practice a couple of times. At times like that, the only thing I wanted to do was to be killed.
«I bet you would," I snorted softly against my chest.
«Weight.
«М? - big, big pupil eyes looked up at me. That's another one of her specialities - copying the Cat from Shrek. Literally.
«Oh, I can't resist scratching this little cutie behind the ear.
«Mr-r-r.
«Still, that was a very rash thing you did.
«Why? - Morgue-morgue. And then I realised.
«You clever little devil, you've thought of everything! You've thought me through, and you've prepared yourself," she smiled slyly in return. - Who the hell do you think you are?
«Your pussy, mr-r-r," she said mischievously, licking my lips and rumbling, "Who just decided to take matters into her own hands.
«Hmm, I agree. I totally agree. But! It's still not fair. To be so blatant and out of line... Even I don't do that. When I'm supposed to!
«Would you go first?
«Given my busy schedule, more likely no than yes, I'm working it out in my head. And then I got scared. To exchange training for women at my age? There's something wrong with me. Where's the nearest counsellor around here?
«That's right. And where are your hormones when you need them? I've learnt to walk from the hip, but you won't let me! I didn't get a single hint. What kind of a man are you?
«A very busy half-breed togrut," I snickered, flicking her nose lightly and returning my hand to her head to scratch it. Ka-a-a-a-if. - So busy that I'm just happy to crawl into bed, let alone think about girls.
«Yeah, Shade, you can't push yourself too hard.
«You have to, Wes. You just have to," I tell her, and I console myself. Oh, my God, Shade, it's come to this.
«Why?!
«I'm not going to give up anything that I think is mine," I hug the damn thing tighter, "But you have to have Power to be able to do that. And I certainly don't consider myself one of those....
«Yeah, you tell me," the katara snorted.
«You haven't seen my mother. There's a giant chasm between us that I'd like to bridge. You know, like an obsession that's in my head and won't go away.
«You're a fool. Yes, yes, and you don't deny it," she said, "You've got a lot of nerve.
«What's the matter? Insolence is the second happiness.
«Yours is the first.
«Mmm, you know best.
«Yes, I do!
And then the bell rang.
«Looks like it's time for class.- This coming from the temple's most persistent rule breaker.
«What rules?! - I was truly surprised.
«Back in Padawan Kesh... Oh, that's right, you stood out there too, ignoring the rules and staying at home schooling, - she smiled, - So, everywhere in the temples there is a set of rules - how, when and what to do, and what not to do. And even though you're considered the worst offender, it's only because you haven't committed any really serious offences. You act differently than the others. You're more intelligent, aren't you?
«Oh, my mum taught me the basics and boundaries.
«That makes sense. By the way, what you and I have done is forbidden and will be allowed only when we become wanderers," she said thoughtfully. - Well, that is, after a few taqedas.
«Yeah. I'll have to read it at my leisure.
«Pha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha..." she burst into hysterical laughter.
«Weight?
«Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...
«Weight!
«Oh... I'm fine. It's just that the guys in the band were wondering: did you purposely set out to break the whole list of rules? Turns out you didn't even remember them.
«At least I feel alive and free, - I spread my hands apart, - No, I realise that not knowing the rules doesn't exempt you from responsibility, but I know the approximate boundaries.
«Hee.
«All right, let's go. It's definitely worth a read, though.
She rises to her knees, finally putting my confusion to rest. She's a katara, but she's a half-breed. Soft, short, silky fur covered almost her entire body, and it was so short and soft that if you didn't look closely, you couldn't tell it from her skin. The only thing that gave it away was the coloured pigments that added colour.
And what a shape she had, m-m-m-m... A slim waist, delicate hands that literally made you cry, and that "mr-r-r-r" of hers, ugh! I couldn't resist, I put my hands on the waist of this cunning devil, and she doesn't mind, on the contrary, she intercepts my hand and raises it higher. And a playful look of vertical pupils gave away the intentions of the mistress without any empathy.
«Is it okay that this is Ramira's room, too?
«I have an arrangement," she whispered, leaning in close to my chest, "and carte blanche.
«Everything is clear with you.
«Why? You still have to manage to catch you in your room, and with Ramira to agree much easier than with Gris ... - sincerely resented this sly mozhka. - Female solidarity and discernment, it is such.
«And where is Rami herself? - In response, she just looked at me like... well, it's clear who. - Oh, right. That settles it.
«Shh. Can we be late? - she shot her eyes up to my face.
«Hm... I don't know, there's a class at the... umm... Mm-mm!
***
We were reprimanded for truancy and sent to meditate for six hours straight. For fun, we agreed to try to get in touch. We were surprised when we did! As I was sitting there meditating, thinking about Wes, I started to hear her voice. To my surprise, it was not a common language, but most likely her native tongue. And what's more surprising, I understood it. Roughly the same thing happened on my end, only....
«Shade, I don't understand. I can hear the Togrutian clearly, but there's a lot of harsher words in it now and then. And strangely enough, those words are much harder for me to understand. What language is that? - Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a twist. So my mind can't decide which language is my mother tongue? Interesting.
«It's the language of one people. It's dead because no one speaks it here. No one speaks it at all.
«How do you know it?
«That's the problem, I have no idea. I'm not supposed to know him, but he's with me.
«That's weird. That's weird.
«Tell me about it. It's like the Powers are playing a joke. Hey, did I hear you speak Cathar?
«Yes. I've read about this kind of communication. In it, each person speaks only their own language. But the weird thing is, you're speaking two different languages at the same time, which you shouldn't be.
«Let's leave it at that, shall we?
«Okay. (chuckles) What do you want to ask me?
«Why do I have to ask you?
«Shade, I've come to know you too well. And besides, I can feel your emotions," I froze, "Oh, I didn't know you hid your feelings so much," my concentration was slipping and I snapped out of my trance. I turned to Wes, who was sitting three metres away, and raised an eyebrow questioningly, "But now I know I was right," I said, and something clicked inside me.
«You... Okay, wait. You made us late on purpose so they'd send us to meditation. Didn't you? - she smiled, "Why are you so cunning?!
«Well, I'm a kitty cat. And cats are sneaky," they stretched out with a cheeky grin.
«All right. But how do you have telepathy? Even I can't do that, and Mum tried to teach me.
«Dad taught," she shrugged, "He's a tracker, running the security for the colony I come from. And you're very good at hiding your feelings, Shade. Deep in your heart. Whether they're good or bad. If I've touched something I shouldn't, I'm sorry. I just wanted to see them. You even hid them in bed..." she whispered softly, "But you read mine like a book.
«Heh. What did you see?
«Kindness. Caring. A desire to embrace. Protect. - she blushed and averted her eyes. - And you're not afraid of death. Not at all. Like a death row inmate who's already resigned to it. - Her gaze changed to a thoughtful one, as if I were being seen from a new angle. - And there's a lot of anger and resentment in you. But I couldn't make out what it was," she tilted her head as if asking. I took a deep breath and exhaled it.
«Death... I have a special attitude to it, let's say. Believe me, it's not scary to die, it's scary to live. I... I know what I'm talking about," I said, looking down at the floor.
«I'm sorry.
«It's okay. You were right to try to see what I'm hiding. You can and should see what's in my soul.
«Anger? - Nod, I'm angry at the world, Wes.
«Hmm?
«It knows no pity. The weak will become fodder for the strong, or become stronger themselves. But often he doesn't give that opportunity. That feeling when you want to live, when you want to be free, when you want to see the look in your child's eyes. But you realise you're not going to have that. You only have a few taqedas left, and you're going to die. The pain of death torments you, you wait for the day of death no longer as an end, but as a release from pain. Moreover, you know the saying: you can't breathe before you die? - she shook her head negatively, "Well, now you know it. Its meaning is that in a short period of time you'll try to do everything at once, but in the end you won't succeed. But you try anyway. In my case... You try to give someone joy, a moment in which he will be truly happy. Then he'll realise that life has bright colours, that there's good in the world... Even if it's not much..." I pull myself back and look into Wes's intense eyes.
«Are you... Are you dying?! - Vessira whispered in horror.
«What? No! Not at all! - I shake up sharply, looking into her worried green eyes. - It's just... I know the feeling. I know the feeling. I've had experience with it... And what's more, it's like I've lived that person's life. I saw the world through his eyes in those last moments of his life. And I'll probably never be able to get rid of it. But I'm fine. Honestly. It's just a lot of realisation and rethinking, that's all.
«You're okay, aren't you?
«Yeah, Wes. It's... My little secret that even my mum doesn't know about.
«I get it," Vessira nodded seriously.
«Other than that, everything's fine. - After giving me a hard stare, they believed me after all. She sat there for a moment, her mind spinning with all sorts of emotions, and then she got up, came over and sat down beside me, wrapping her arm around my waist.
«Look, Shade... I'm sorry I'm being snarky here, it's just that I was a little afraid. Not many people decide to commit to the Cathars, and you... You've treated me so many times like... like I was someone you cared about, like I was already yours. You've paid me strange, albeit strange, favours. And every time it was just for kicks! - She raised her voice at the last words, and I felt a little ashamed. Just a little," Shade, you're really not going to leave me, are you?
«What do you mean? - I didn't understand, shifting abruptly. The gears in my head whipped into a sharp wedge as I tried to make a chain.
«In two taqedas we leave the temple. For two years we will be in the field with personal masters. I've already found the one I want to share my life with and I've even seen his feelings, but... I still worry if he wants to. I realise... How stupid it sounds. And how it looks. But I can't help it. I just-- I can't believe it.
«Don't worry," I brush her fringes away from her eyes with my free hand. A pair of green eyes stare right into mine. - We'll always be in touch," I whisper in her ear, letting myself scratch her ear. She smiled, and after a moment's thought, I added: - So I'll always know who to call to satisfy my carnal desires.
«BANG!
«FUCK!!! - Wes exploded, giving me one good punch in the side, after which she threw a barrage, but on my shoulder, - You... You... You... Ill-mannered, rude, rude, arrogant, insolent....
«Phe-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he, - I grabbed her by the waist and fell on top of her, - Well, that's it, that's it, you can't make jokes.
«You can't! - Oh, and we're all dishevelled... And angry. I'm smiling like a fool.
«I should make jokes like that more often, you look so funny... In fact, maybe I really should get another kitty? - I'm pulling the tiger's tail for nothing, but I can't help it.
«Oh, yeah? I'm going to get you.
***
Meanwhile, outside the door:
«... So you say they want to give him to Master Irbis?
«Yes. What do you think?
«I don't understand why him? He follows the code as if it were law," the Togruta shook her head, "and what's more, he's not even a fighter. My son will be a hunter like me, what will Irbis teach him? How to talk teeth to his prey before he cuts off their head?
«You exaggerate. I don't think it's such a bad idea.
«Why not?
«Shade is very hot. Irbis is the opposite, calm as a monk. I think he might be able to cool him down a bit.
«Maybe you're right," the Togruta thought.
Meanwhile, the two old friends stopped in front of the entrance to one of the meditation rooms. From behind the door came a loud noise, the clattering of furniture, girls' screams and someone's laughter.
«What the-
At that moment, the door opened, and a ragged half-breed Togrut flew out. Burning eyes, dishevelled hair, crumpled shirt....
«Mum?! - he was surprised to see the woman in front of him. But then, as if sensing something, he walked away sharply, taking both the Togruta and her friend with him. As soon as this happened, a special meditation chair flew out of the door, - Hello, Master! - He said quickly, and then, in the same breath: "Mum, you asked me to introduce you. This is Vessira, my girlfriend. I have to go, I'll talk to you later! - he shouted the last words on the run. The half-blood katara appeared from the door. All dishevelled and very, very angry. Not paying any attention to the Master of the Temple and her guest, the girl rushed after the boy who was having fun.
«I'LL KILL YOU! - she shouted throughout the corridor.
When the teenagers disappeared around the corner, the first to come to her senses was the temple mistress.
«So, any more questions as to why Irbis? - asked the Sith to her friend. The Togruta herself stood smiling at that moment. - Aala?
«Here we go. It was the Force, the Force, I even started to worry about him. I thought to interfere, to find someone, but no, it was not necessary, - said the Togruta and turned to Sita, - What are you saying?
«I'm saying that you owe me now.
«No. I've cancelled one of your two debts.
«And you still haven't woken up your conscience, - Master Tsikuna sighed, - What do I have to do to make you write off the second one?
«Don't worry, I'll think of something, - assured her friend, - So, will you introduce me to your invisible man? Because as far as I know, he's been complaining to you about Shade on a regular basis.
«If only he did... And anyway, who should be complaining to who? He and your son have been playing a game since he got here: Who can find who, and then they work together to sort out their opponent's mistakes. You have no idea how annoying it is when you're walking down the corridor and a blurry shadow pops out of nowhere and disappears right under your nose. I'm amazed at how they've learnt to avert their gaze or hide themselves in the Force. Good thing they can't become invisible themselves!
«K-ha, k-ha, k-ha... Pah-ha-ha-ha....
«It's funny to you, but I get complaints all the time.
«So why don't you do something about it? You're the Master of the Temple!
«And it's okay to find them, but scold or not scold yours, it's all the same. But let Bagi learn, he hasn't met any worthy opponents in these walls yet, he's completely relaxed. He'll teach others later, so let him. I haven't seen him like this in a long time.
«What about the other teachers?
«Come on. We'll discuss it over a cup of soya. Maybe they'll be cold by then.
---
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