"Success is when you can slap someone and call it an investment."
— Chen Fan, future tycoon of the cultivation world.
---
"Thirty-seven Spirit Coins for cold noodles?!"
Chen Fan glared at the bill in his hand as the grumpy innkeeper waved him off. "Spirit Stones don't grow on trees!"
Technically, they did. In some sects, Spirit Trees dropped them like fruit. But Chen Fan had neither Spirit Trees, nor Spirit Coins—just a delivery uniform soaked in sweat and the faint scent of failed ambition.
"Just once," he muttered, dragging his feet through Mudstone Alley, "I'd like to deliver something to a regular customer. Not a demonic cult. Not a sect leader. Not a guy who literally bathes in lava."
He paused.
"…okay, the lava guy did tip well."
As he pulled out his battered phone to check the next delivery, the screen blinked violently. Then:
> [Divine System Downloaded.]
[Welcome, Host.]
[Initializing Tutorial Mission: Survive the Next Five Minutes.]
"What the hell—?" Chen Fan dropped the phone. It floated mid-air, glowing like a divine artifact from a sect elder's wet dream.
> [You have been chosen by the Divine Transaction System.]
[Every action earns Spirit Coins. Every coin can be spent for power, items, or upgrades. The richer you are, the stronger you become.]
"…is this a prank? Am I being secretly recorded?"
A shadow loomed behind him.
He turned to find a bald cultivator with a butcher's apron and a cleaver the size of a small horse.
"You Chen Fan?"
"Uh, maybe?"
"You delivered to my wife."
"Okay?"
"She said you smiled at her."
"Oh. Then yes. Yes, I did."
The cultivator raised his cleaver with a growl.
> [System Mission: First Battle. Objective: Don't Die Horribly.]
[Balance: 100 Spirit Coins awarded for imminent death.]
"USE THEM!!" Chen Fan screamed internally.
> [Available Purchases:]
– Temporary Invincibility (5 seconds) – 50 Coins
– Slap of the Heavenly Palm – 75 Coins
– Escape Scroll – 100 Coins
He clicked the first option without hesitation.
A golden bubble enveloped him just as the cleaver came crashing down. Sparks flew. The cultivator blinked, stunned.
> [Invincibility Active. 4… 3… 2…]
"I'm not dying for free!" Chen Fan snarled. "System, buy the Slap!"
A glowing hand materialized and—WHAP!—sent the cultivator flying through three market stalls and a cart of pickled toads.
> [+10 Spirit Coins earned: Public Humiliation Bonus.]
[+5 Bonus: Dramatic Air Time.]
[HIDDEN ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: First Slap.]
Chen Fan stood frozen, panting.
People stared. Some clapped. A kid tossed him a copper coin.
Then a beautiful voice rang from the skies.
> [Divine Entity Summoning: Harem Slot #1 Unlocked.]
A portal opened above him, and from it descended a woman in an icy blue robe, with silver eyes and an aura so cold it froze the pickled toads mid-flight.
She landed gracefully, her gaze scanning Chen Fan like she was judging a broken jade ornament.
"…you're the one who summoned me?" she asked.
"I… think so?"
She sighed. "I am Xian'er, Goddess of Ice and Debt Collection."
Chen Fan blinked. "Debt collection…?"
She pointed to the butcher cultivator, groaning in the rubble. "He owes you pain."
> [Xian'er has joined your party.]
[Passive Skill Activated: Ice Interest. Enemies who owe you pain or money receive triple damage.]
Chen Fan looked down at his glowing phone, then up at the divine ice goddess, then back at the trail of destruction he left.
"…okay," he said. "I have absolutely no idea what's going on."
"But I think I love it."