That night, I couldn't sleep.
My phone kept buzzing, the notification from Ethan still hanging in the back of my mind. The thought of seeing him, talking to him, made my heart race. I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't help myself. There was something about him, something I couldn't ignore, no matter how hard I tried.
Jason was asleep next to me, his warm body a stark contrast to the storm raging inside me. I turned onto my side, staring at the ceiling, wondering how everything had gotten so messed up.
How had I ended up here, torn between the man I thought I loved and his roommate—the man who had never once let me feel like I was anything less than his equal?
The words from Ethan's message echoed in my mind:
"Maybe we should talk. About everything."
I wanted to text him back. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't stand the tension anymore, that I couldn't fight the way I felt.
But I didn't.
Instead, I lay there, my thoughts racing in every direction, the guilt slowly creeping in. What was I doing? Was this betrayal? Was I really about to throw everything away for a man who had barely spoken a word to me?
But the pull of Ethan's presence was too strong.
I couldn't deny it.
When morning came, I made the decision. I would go.