My eyes shoot open as I feel my legs totter backwards. What's he saying?
His left hand slinks past my back steadying my posture as his right hand goes under my chin. "Let me rephrase that again. Four of Clubs want your voice and I need my band alive once again."
"Wouldn't the name become pointless then? Four of Clubs represents the four of you."
Why did I even say that as if I'm almost convinced that I've become a member of their band.
His thumb strokes my chin in an irregular way. I brush him off. The blazing heat in his eyes start to raise my temperature and my head wants to go against the flow.
"I already have sought out that little problem with a marvelous solution, partner. What Four of Clubs right now needs, is a new face and name," he answers in a serious tone.
"I already screwed up today Damien! Besides, I don't think your team requires someone like me. I didn't even plan to study music in the first place!" As the words make their immediate escape I realise I shouldn't have said that. He didn't need to know that. No-one does.
"Hey! Can you at least.."
"I think I have no more business here with you. I might take some time off. This stupid assignment already ate a lot of my energy."
••••
The next day Prof. Robert calls me to the office room after class. Damien's been eyeing me since this morning after I arrived. Nevertheless he's sitting with his buddies and didn't try to seize the seat next to me. He didn't talk to me either. It shouldn't give me a headache right?
When I enter the office I see him talking to someone over phone. "He's here right now," he says to the person he's talking with. It's as if he's talking about me.
"This is a typical start. I talked to Chris too. He just didn't want to be in his team. Why would he? He already has his team."
After pausing for a minute while listening to the other person's opinion he continues again, "He'll be. Our hands are tied. Besides they're up to no good Mr. Shaw. Yeah yeah I understand."
He hangs up and realising I'm still standing he gestures me to sit.
"Saint you might expect me to deliver you a pleasant intro as always but I'll have to disappoint you this once."
Professor Robert never looked this serious before. "You have my unwavering attention professor."
He gives me a subtle nod then shifts in his chair uncomfortably, as if prepared to give me whatever handful he has to give me.
"By now you're already aware that Damien's got a taste of success through his first song 'Swordsplay'. But he was still in high school back then, before he came to our academy. In first year—you must have heard of this probably—his second song "Can you stay, love?' wasn't much of a hit."
I maintain a poker face. Tbh I didn't even know he existed before I met him that day. Few days ago I finally watched the official video of Swordsplay—I didn't even recognise him at first. Dang! I couldn't ever recognise him even if we met before. Wigs, makeup, and costumes make a huge difference. I also didn't listen to this song.
"Four of Clubs didn't win Infinite Serenade last year," he says.
Infinite Serenade is the ultimate competition held every year for music heads. Those who can get their names on the winner's list wins a once in a lifetime opportunity—to take part in the next bigger competition. If they win they get to dedicate their full time and passion on the very thing they worship—music. A chance to become a professional. In short, it's a small step towards the voracious cut-throat world of fame and prestige.
He scans my facial expression which urges him to continue.
He goes on, "Perhaps he was going through some personal turmoil. We all felt like he wasn't fully into that song. Like his presence was very faint in the song's essence. After that his group became disheartened and decided to take some time off. He even told us he'd not participate in this year's beginning." He sighs as his eyes struggle to hide the mutual disappointment he felt like Damien himself.
"I know he's not confident enough to do that alone again. But when I heard your voice after he combined his guitar with it, I was convinced for a moment that Damien the fierce Frost is back again."
"Wait what did you..? Professor, I couldn't sing that day. What are you saying?" I ask feeling conflicted.
He laughs gently. "Damien played that voice recording you sent to him."
What?! How embarassing... I almost forgot about it. I feel sweats under my palms as professor leans towards me. "I trust you with him, Saint. Be his guide and help him win the competition for our sake."
"But why me? Surely it's not only about my voice, is it?"
"Because... Damien's at ease when he's with you Saint. He himself said so. I've noticed that boy in first year and I'm noticing both of you this year. This old pair of experienced eyes cannot betray me last minute, can they?" He says humbly looking like he won't let me leave with convincing me.
What the hell does he mean by noticing the two of us? We're in the same class. Aren't we allowed to even talk? It's not like I was dying to befriend him. But... atleast... Damien's done something good by playing that recording in class while I was away. My prestige is still hanging there.
"Alright professor, if you're sure. Cause I'm not sure of anything let alone leading his team to victory," I say irresolutely still holding my breath.
"If I say I'm certain in keeping my decision—that is my faith in you, will you promise to not let us down?"
I swallow my drying out saliva and nod maintaining a positive face somehow. I've said yes and there's no way to turning back now. If I let him down...if I let Damien down... My reputation before it even flourishes, will go down in drain.
I couldn't find Damien after I came out of his office. It's quite late. Did he go home already? Lucky him cause he's gonna meet his friend less enemy of a partner again.
••••
The door was unlocked. When I'm already inside and heading towards the living room cause no one apparently heard me at the door, I spot a pillow on the floor along with several other items and on the couch, Kate on top of Damien... They're laughing loudly and by the look of it...seems like they were having a pillow fight. A pillow is under Damien's arm and he shoves it against her. Seeing me they both jolt apart.
"S-Saint! We didn't hear you," Kate excuses herself. "Someone forgot to lock the door. This sneaky rascal gets on my nerves everytime!" She hits him with the pillow again.
This is the second time I feel like I'm the third wheel. The way they were laughing...were they going to make love afterwards..? Ugh! What kind of thoughts am I even having!
"I..err... I'll take my leave."
"Oi! Wait." Damien comes after me when I'm already near the door.
I don't pay heed to him.
"You already ditched me that day. Are you going to do that again?" He turns me to face him.
"Why don't we talk another time? You seemed occupied..no, you are probably."
"Aren't you the one assuming things now?"
"Doesn't matter," I quickly wear my shoes.
He stops me. "Why did you come then?"
His question stuns me but I find his voice parly hoarse. "I...uh...had to thank you about..."
He raises his hand in dismissal. "No need. I did it for my own benefit."
The way he says it with an unbothered shrug—as if he's caught off guard...even I'm surprised that I finally said it. I turn back ready to leave. "I should be excused now as I've said what I've come for."
His expression turns sour. "Aren't you upset that I said I did it for myself? That I simply need a new member and you fit the position well. And I also asked professor Robert to help me with it."
A small half sneer slips out on its own. "Nobody does something good without having their own motives. I should be aware of it by now."
His eyebrows crinkle in dismay. "Have you always been this cynical?"
"Why don't you tell me? After all you claim me as your partner."
I'm always couple of feet away, walking, when he yells from behind. "Heyy!"
When I don't reply he goes again, "What can I do to stop you from leaving?"
"Nothing," I answer.
"I don't like this silent feud between us."
The agitation in his voice makes me stop in my tracks. "You're playing a dangerous game here."
"Just say it! What do I have to do to make things go as they were?"
Why does he even care? The fact that he's reading through my facade troubles me. You won't know what's gonna hit you, Damien. "Break up with your girlfriend," I state.
The next ten seconds of silence felt like forever. But then he bursts out laughing. I turn back with an irritated face. He stops for a second before continuing with his clownish laughter again.
"See you tomorrow, partner." He adds, "I have a lot of explaining to do and today I feel so drained."
So he won't break up with his girlfriend huh? That's why he laughed right? Cause he doesn't give a damn.
••••
I toss and turn while plugging my earphones. Damien's guitar does have its charms no matter how much of a douchebag he is. His tunes...does hold a subtle slice of peace. What did professor Robert mean earlier when he said Damien was going through some personal turmoil? That he wasn't into his own song. Why?
The next day:
What explaining do you possibly have to do musclehead? It isn't like he owes me something. Whatever he does is his business. Suddenly my mind which often prefers to stay neutral prepares to launch an attack. I catch Chris striding at my way. He pulls the stool next to me. There's no way he'll leave me today. I take out a book and place it in front of my face.
He presses it down. "I have something to talk to you, Saint."
"I'm not deaf Chris. Now that you're here already, I see no reason why you should keep your mouth shut."
His jaws twitch as he presses his lips harder. "I talked to Henrietta."
I quickly take out my bottle of water and sip some. Does he know everything? Even Damien coming to my rescue?
"She apologized for she lied to me and liking me. But all she wanted is your attention. She had her eyes on you since the beginning of this year."
"That's it?" I ask hiding my anxiety.
"Yeah. But...I want to apologise too, Saint. Bros before hoes right?"
So he doesn't know it. That girl is really something huh. "Don't sweat it. I'm glad you understand now." I accept his apology and wait for the class to end.
First class is over. Damien's not here. Will he even come today?
As Mrs. George crosses the door after the class ends she comes face to face with Damien.
"So the rookie rockstar's now sneaking into the class. Twice this week," she snickers with a fond glimmer in her eyes. "I know you don't like attending classes kid. All you crave is your guitar. But you can sometimes you know try to be attentive."
Damien smiles lowering his head. "I don't just crave my guitar all the time ma'am. In fact I'm trying to be attentive lately. Even I'm surprised."