My clap brought on a stricture, obliging me to have a bougie passed
every other day to stretch the pipe often, and causing me to piss clots
of gruelly blood, about an hour afterwards. I dared not fuck, but once
frigged, and it brought on the inflammatory stage again. At length I
got better, but with a gleet which wetted the tail of my shirt through
daily; doctors advised me to get a change of air, I went to my aunt's
place in H..tf..dshire where I took cold baths, and did all I could to
get myself well,--I was forbidden to touch a woman until permitted by
the doctor.
Touch women I did not, think of them I did eternally, and deplored the
time that I was wasting. I used to look at my female cousins, and long
for them; my aunt whose flabby, brown-haired, thick-lipped furrow I
glanced at in my boyhood I used to think about and should not have
hesitated in getting a pleasure up it, had no other cunt been ready for
I eyed the farm-women (coarse, strong, healthy bitches) with lust
that made them look beauties in my longing eyes, I was boiling over
with spunk, at the closet one day my turds were hard, and hurt me; the
irritation affected my ballocks, my prick stiffened rigidly, I could
not piss for it, the tip looked dry, as if gleet had ceased, I merely
touched the top (not frigged), and out shot my sperm as I sat on the
privy seat. What a relief! but what a loss of pleasure not to have
injected into some dear little cunt nicked in some smooth white bum! My
prick seemed quite well, and I wanted to go into the fields to get hold
of some girl doing field-work, or any woman, old or young, who had a
cunt available; so I went to town to see my medical man about it. He
pointed out to me how needful it was to restrain myself, I followed his
advice, in two weeks was much better, and had determined to go to town
to see him again about it, when I got well without him.
Some years before I had seen a farm-girl whose name was Pender, a fine
lass with a merry face, and lightish brown hair; she must then I suppose
have been about seventeen years old. From ogling and laughing, I got to
kissing, with that she was pleased enough, and often I think put herself
in my way to get it; a pinch on the bum she did not resent. Thinking all
safe, I one day poked her near to her notch, and she only saying, "Adun
now sir, do," my hand went up her petticoats, I struggled with her, and
we both fell on the grass near a barn, when my fingers touched her cunt.
She set up a yell, my fingers were stained with her monthlies (not the
only time that has occured in my life), she sat for a minute crying,
then walked away, leaving me in fear lest she should tell my aunt.
She never did, but avoided me, and would not look me in the face. When
older, I only thought of her when there, or when my memory ran back on
the quims I had touched in my then short career.
Having now nothing to do, but to read, and idle about, I was wandering
in the farm, fields, stable, cow-houses, everywhere, and soon knew all
the faces on the estate. Among them was Pender, still so named, she
having then been married about a year to a man bearing her own maiden
name, and was then about twenty-three years old; a tall, strapping
woman, with a bum as big as a washing-tub; brown she was from working in
the sun, but fucking regularly as I supposed had cleared her complexion,
she was a good, comely country-woman. Our eyes met, both at the instant
thought of the day when I got my fingers red up her petticoats; she
curtsied, and blushed, I laughed with a baudy look I expect, and said,
"Well you still here."
I spoke to her again on other days, her husband worked on the farm, and
she was dairy-woman. Whenever I saw her my prick stood, and I avoided
her, for fear of an erection increasing my gleet.
There was hay-making,--lolling about with a book I went to look on, it
was at one or two fields off from a large rick-yard which was near
to the farm buildings. There was a half-made hay-stack with a ladder
against it, up which without any object I went idly, and laying down
went on reading. It became cloudy, the headman calling out said, "We'll
have rain, cut off all on yer, and get the hay up into cocks, yes
you,--you,--yes you too" (I did not know who he was talking to.) Men and
women crossed the rick-yard, and went off in the distance, Pender was
one, and was well ahead, when he called out, "You had better get the
dairy-work done though." She turned, and coming slowly back stood still
a moment, then comfortably squatted, and pissed.
I laying half buried in the hay was not visible to her, but seeing her
piddling, raised myself, and looked.
As she finished she gave her clothes that usual hitch against her cunt,
looked up, and saw me, turned round quickly, went away from the yard,
and then as if she had forgotten, turned round with her head hanging
down, and came through the rick-yard. I slipped from the stack, and met
her at the foot of it,--we were surrounded with stacks.
Her face was red. "A comfortable piddle you had," said I stopping her.
"Adun sir," said she. "A kiss, for old acquaintance," snatching one. "I
am married," said she. "Don't care, so much the merrier, it's not so
wet as it was, when I felt it some years ago?" "Oh I lawk don't, I'm
married."
We had moved a little, were by the hay-stack then making, a heap of hay
had fallen as they had lifted it from cart to the stack. I closed with
her, kissing and hugging, gave her a push, and we both tumbled into
a sitting position together on the heap, she half laughing, half
resisting; then kissing her, suggesting pleasure, pulling out my prick,
seeing a thick pair of legs in dark stockings, big thighs, a belly, some
brown hair at the bottom of it, I felt cool flesh, a wet warm split, and
was on her, up her, and spent in her.
I came to myself with a tingling aching sensation inside my prick, the
stiffness, and spending had hurt the urethra which had been split by the
bougie. I had a notion that blood must be coming, and still stiff pulled
it out of her; the little lingering sperm on the tip looked all right,
she had not spent, for I don't think I could have shoved more than once
before I had emitted my semen. I threw myself on her to put into her
again, but she baulked me. "Oh! now for God's sake if my husband caught
us there would be murder," but I was burning with want, it was more than
two months since I had clutched a woman's backside, and spent up a cunt.
Furiously I pulled her back, rolled over her, and fingered her; she rose
spite of me, and went off. "Pray don't come with me, we may be seen, I
wouldn't for the world we were seen coming out the rick-yard together."