Seeing the world from above is a sublime... and terrifying spectacle.
Up there, you can believe yourself the absolute master of everything, or you can sense that the fall will be more merciless than any stab you have ever felt.
Looking down is, as Nietzsche warned, "When you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."
My interpretation?
What raised you to glory will strike back in spades. Just remember the Spartans: their agoge forged legendary warriors... and in doing so, devoured their own blood. No seed remained to engender new defenders of Sparta, and they even recruited outsiders and mercenaries to sustain its walls.
That's why I wasn't surprised to feel that shove that plunged me into the void, from the building I had worked so hard to build.
The ground came swiftly, relentlessly. I could see it; Even so, my gaze fixed on the sky, as if in those heavy clouds there were a crack to another reality that would save me from death.
But I found nothing: only the perpetual gray of an urban morning, as relentless as my destiny.
Moments later, life left me.
No lights or ethereal revelations at the end of a tunnel.
It was absolute silence: the air stopped brushing my skin, the noise became a diffuse echo, and my heart, which had been beating like a war drum since that kick, stopped beating forever.
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"Damn traitor," I thought in the darkness of my mind as I blinked, trying to clear my thoughts.
"You just had a terrible fall there, huh?" A male voice spoke to me from the darkness, yet I couldn't see or distinguish anything.
I tried to turn my head and look around, but then I realized I didn't feel like I had a head, or hands, or even a body.
A feeling of anguish began to consume me. I tried to scream, and I became even more frightened when I realized I couldn't even do that. I felt in a state of astral ecstasy that I didn't know how to interpret, because it was indeed interpretable. It wasn't a sensation I could feel comfortable with, because at that moment I was nothing, and after having been a complete and functional human, this was completely horrifying.
It's as if I weren't there, as if I were nothing, just a consciousness unable to interact with anything around me, as if I were "something" and yet there was absolutely nothing to prove my own existence.
"Ummm, are you staying quiet? I mean, I know it was sudden, but you can still talk after that, right?" I heard the voice from outside once more, coming from all around.
The words helped me feel that not all was lost and to see that, even though I wasn't a believer, there was still an entity I could sense as superior and that on the other side, not everything was just an existential void. It tried to jump, or move, for that matter, but since I wasn't and couldn't see anything, I don't know if the entity recognized it as a sign of a response.
I waited a few seconds while I continued trying to figure something out, and soon I found an answer.
"Oh shit, I see what's going on. Sorry. I'm new here, and I skipped a few steps before dragging you here. I only brought you here as a soul. As I was warned, it's all crap, so I'm sorry." I heard from outside as, little by little, a comforting feeling enveloped me.
Little by little, I regained my senses and could see how, inch by inch, an empty avatar body of myself was created from top to bottom.
"I'm sorry. I think you should be able to respond by now and feel like you're not slipping into madness once again. I hope you're feeling better," said the voice I had heard before, to which I could now assign an appearance.
Once I felt "Complete," I turned to look at the only thing that wasn't absolute darkness and saw what appeared to be a moving Greek statue that glowed white. The only thing that stood out were some black details that I managed to recognize as lines of code, however, they weren't entirely clear.
"I guess it's definitely better to be anything you don't know you are than to be nothing at all," I thought to myself as I managed to compose myself.
I stared at whatever was in front of me and started asking questions.
"So now... what's next?" I asked the only one I could ask any question to in search of answers.
"Umm, weird, usually he asks what I am... umm, I guess it'll follow protocol," the entity in front of me murmured. I suspect those words weren't meant for me, but more for itself.
"Well, a potential schizophrenic. I guess whatever's coming won't be very good for me," I thought as I looked at the entity that I suppose read my mind or something because I could sense something resembling oppressive intent from it.
"I am the one who now directs your path, judges your past, and guides your future. I am the representation of your end, and your possible guide to the future. Right now, we are in limbo, and my task is to get you where you need to be. Ask your questions," the entity in front of me said with determination in a deep, dry voice.
"Well, this is fucked up," I thought to myself as I tried to figure out what a better question would be.
"Are you going to revive me, then?" I asked the entity, hoping its answer would be affirmative. I definitely wanted to go back for everything I had lost.
"Umm no, it seems you didn't understand me. You're dead. Coming back to life isn't a place to take you," the entity said somewhat hostilely as it looked at me.
"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT" It was all I could think about as the illusion I had of returning to take what belonged to me faded as the entity continued to explain.
"Let me simplify it for you, Human; Your life on Earth ended, and the way it did is the only reason you were chosen, and not sent straight to heaven or purgatory—the entity continued as it began to walk around me.
I don't know from what point, but at some point, frames began to appear in the air with the important moments I remember having lived.
"To begin with, you were orphaned at a young age, and you were raised by your grandparents, something that determined your insecurities and character." Behind the entity, the moment where my 3-year-old self was standing could be seen.
I was sitting in a pool of blood, and around me were the lifeless bodies of my parents.
In the next frame, my 8-year-old self was lying down in orthopedic boots.
"As a child, you were a sickly child, which prevented you from being very active, nor from relating properly to other children, who could run freely. This marked your personal life forever," the entity continued, this time with a touch of disdain and condescension.
I remembered that time well. I lowered my head and frowned. The bastard was right, but I didn't understand the reason for seeing this.
"What are you trying to do with this? I remember those days well. I understand, but what good is it? If you already know, it's not that important. Do you want to get to the point?" I said to the entity, trying to get this over with.
The entity paused for a few seconds to respond.
"You're right, I know, but you don't understand. I know this, but are you aware of what I'm doing?" the entity asked, something that left me somewhat puzzled, since I hadn't really questioned it.
"No, I don't, but... I just don't know why you're doing this. I don't know what I'm doing here. I want to know why the hell I was at the top one day, falling to my death in seconds, and then going crazy," I answered the entity frankly, wanting to understand what the hell happened.
The entity looked at me. I could see its features relaxing and expressing what seemed to be empathy.
"Well, that's a good start. Why didn't you say that from the start? It was easier. They wouldn't force me to screw you over in a few minutes... Well, if you want answers, you'll get them. However, you have to explain to me what's going on in that mind of yours," the entity responded calmly and without tension, waiting to see my next move.
I sighed for a moment, thankful that the previous reckless move didn't screw me over more than I already was.
"Well, that's fair enough. You finish explaining and I'll satisfy your curiosity," I replied calmly and attentively to the entity.
"Okay, let's continue," the entity said quickly as another of the paintings appeared.
The following scene showed me, about 12 years old, in a baseball stadium. I was batting in an official game, bases loaded, and already with a strike, the opposing pitcher threw and the ball hit me directly in the nose. I was given first base and my teammate scored the run, and while I was on first base, a jet of blood gushed from my nose.
"What happened there?" the entity asked me with doubt in its voice.
I sighed to myself before proceeding to answer.
"I was scared... my team had the bases loaded, they played dirty. It would have been the third consecutive walk, it was the most logical thing to do," I replied to the entity with feigned confidence in my voice.
The entity looked at me for a second before walking quickly in a circle for a second before speaking.
"Are you trying to tell me you let a ball hit you in the face to secure a run?!" The entity began, its voice rising and ending in screams.
Well yes, it wasn't safe to hit. I risked myself and the team with several outs, and doing so gave me insurance— I tried to justify myself while pleading with my hands.
"This is why you're here," the entity began in a calm voice that contrasted with his previous shouts. "You put yourself at risk to protect the team, even though you knew you'd hit the home run if you waited, and yet you excuse yourself by saying you couldn't be sure…" The entity continued before I interrupted him.
"What are you talking about? I couldn't hit a home run. I never could. At most, I could hit beyond the infield, but I never could." I began my tirade before the entity interrupted me just as I had.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" the entity questioned as it proceeded to pull up several square screens in front of me.
In each one, I saw the same scene as before. However, they all had differences: long hair, a slightly taller person, a different pitcher, a different stadium... a different age... they all seemed like different scenes, yet they all had one constant: in all of them, I could hit that bases-loaded home run, and together we'd score four runs at once.
"You sabotage yourself in important moments. Sometimes you let the talent you undoubtedly possess shine, but you limited yourself in search of 'security.' Tell me, why?" the entity asked me in a soft, doubtful voice, not intending to say anything more and obtain anything other than the truth.
"That was before, before making the decision." I began to try to justify myself once more, but the entity wouldn't let me; it wanted answers.
"No, that's not what happened, and you know it," it stopped me as it approached me and grabbed my neck, beginning to squeeze. "Answer me... Now. Why were you thinking and acting like a machine?" it said coldly, as its grip on my neck grew more intense every second.
With no choice but to tell the truth, I complied with its demands.
"I wanted to be normal," I replied, looking directly into its eyes, and immediately, it loosened its grip around my neck.
"I didn't want to be more than anyone else. I didn't need to be. I just wanted to be like them. I wanted to give them what they wanted, not be different from them," I told him as he took his hand away from me and looked at me intently. "So I did it. I gave them what they wanted. I was as bad as they wanted, and I went everywhere they wanted me to go even though I'd rather be home," I said as I looked down, frustration showing on my face.
The entity remained static for a few seconds, and when it saw that I wouldn't say anything else, it smiled.
"Do you see why I didn't want to go straight to the end?" The entity asked me in a relaxed voice, looking me in the eyes before continuing. —I needed you to understand that you are different from them, different from everyone, that you were the best, you had the potential to achieve everything... And yet you fell like any other human being would, because you are a human... But you could be more— The entity finished, making all the pictures that were still floating in the air disappear and returning to its initial position, whispering something in a language I didn't recognize.
I ignored the fact and watched as two seats appeared, and I took my place, the one that fit my size just like the entity did.
"So that's what it's about, my self-perception has changed, but what does it want? What does it want from me?" I asked myself, staring at the entity.
"I tried." I began to speak again, my voice somewhat muffled, and with the need to let it all out. "When I moved to a different city and went to college, I decided to change things, to take what I could and build a future for myself with my own hands," I said to the entity, who looked at me intently before speaking again.
"I know that. I saw you and you made it. You finished your degree, worked as a programmer for a couple of years, and with the capital you had, you started a small real estate project that grew until it gained prestige and status. And yet, you made a mistake, just one," the entity spoke, reminding me of those days when I was trying my best to grow my company.
"Yes, it was a mistake, a totally stupid mistake. I trusted someone I shouldn't have. It wasn't even my family, it was just a guy I met who wanted to invest in my project. And when I finally made progress, he killed me to take everything I had built," I said with frustration and remorse, realizing that what happened to me was also entirely my fault.
"And we go back to the past. I want to understand if this failure of yours was also self-sabotage, a failure to feel like a machine, or if, like any other great, you simply fell under your own weight," the entity told me, looking me straight in the eyes with a look that indicated it was judging me.
At that moment, I knew that whatever I answered here would truly determine what would become of me in the future.
"I don't know, I'm not sure, maybe you don't know, but at certain times in my life, I made decisions that I knew were wrong, that I knew weren't what I wanted, but inevitably, I made exactly what I didn't want. That was me holding back." I began my answer by accepting that the aforementioned was precisely the cause of my actions on certain occasions.
"Oh, I know that, I'm aware of it. I saw it many times, especially while you were playing "That" game," the entity began, with an almost imperceptible smile. "Sometimes it was the shot that would turn the game around. Other times, when you played in company, you held back to continue being the person everyone knew, the one who wasn't good at anything," the entity concluded, emphasizing what he had always wanted to tell me.
"Useless... what many people end up thinking of me when they meet me, what I ended up being for them, because it's exactly what they believed and expected of me," I thought to myself while smiling mockingly and with frustration.
"Well, the thing is, at no point did I feel like I was stopping myself from trusting him. I guess he was a pretty good liar," I said with a bitter smile, remembering the wretch I once called a friend.
The entity smiled and looked at me with something I didn't recognize, but if someone else saw it from afar, they might have said it was pride, but hey... there's no one else here, right?
"Now it's clear, it wasn't his fault, it just happened... That's life, not everything is under control," the entity began, while maintaining its smile.
"Good, he seems fit to be ready. Now he can fulfill the task. He'll be a good champion, true to my principles as the rules dictate. He's somewhat empty and doesn't function like a conventional champion, but he's just what I need to work with the system they gave me," the entity concluded with a half-smile, seeing that he had already set up his play.
"That was all I needed to know," the entity said calmly as he let his head fall back, hitting the back of his chair.
"He's not going to look anything like his exoverse counterparts, but that's the point. Maybe I'll see them later," the entity mused to himself.
I waited a few seconds to see what the entity would say next, and it didn't disappoint me when it began to speak.
"A lifetime of purposefully failing after understanding that you weren't equal to others just to belong to a community, and yet you stood up to try to achieve something for yourself, only because someone motivated you and made you realize your mistake," the entity said in a calm and measured voice, looking up without raising its head.
I opened my eyes in shock as I realized I had omitted the detail that had seemingly improved my life out of nowhere.
"Now I understand. I know what I should do with you," said the entity from nowhere, pulling me out of my thoughts.
The entity stood up and circled around me at a slow pace.
"So, what's that?" I asked, observing the entity pacing in front of me.
"You see, little human, I'm tasked with managing a planet that's somewhat similar to yours," the entity began as it brought up a screen in front of me. On it, a complete world map appeared that I didn't recognize.
"This planet and its history were induced into your world through the imagination of a man I used to spread the word about this world. I did it to catch the attention of someone who would help me correct some things within it," the entity explained as it slowly zoomed in on the map.
I looked closely at the two figures currently focused on the map, and now up close, they were much more recognizable.
"Damn," I said more to myself than to the entity, as I finally understood the crap this whole thing was. "That's it... Westeros and Essos... I didn't see them at first because he hasn't broken his arm yet, and well, the other continents, and I didn't get a good look at it, but this is... Fuck," I cursed as I realized what this meant; it was definitely something I could take advantage of.
Obviously, the man the entity was referring to was the wonderful writer George R.R. Martin, author of the famous fantasy book series A Song of Ice and Fire (ASOIAF).
I mean, it's a world I know well, or so I'd like to believe, and one in which if you play your cards right, you can become influential and powerful, as long as you know how to deal with the Valyrian threat.
"I think I understand what you're feeling, however, to get to the point, I want to explain what I need, and why you were chosen for the task I need you to accomplish," the entity said, looking at me with amusement at my reaction.
"Well, what are you waiting for? I'm all ears. I love the story of that world. I never thought it had to do with something outside my reality," I replied to the entity, somewhat nervous and excited to learn more about it.
"I'm glad to hear that. I wrote it wanting to attract as much attention as possible, which is why it has such controversial content," the entity began with a smile that hid some... shame?
It's true, the story of A Song of Ice and Fire is full of rawness, something not very common in medieval fantasy books, where the good guys always triumph and few die, and taboos like incest and child marriage aren't usually addressed. However, this also makes the story interesting because it's not just another run-of-the-mill story.
"You see, this world has several problems that need solving. They were somewhat hidden within the writings, so don't forget that there are small details here and there," the entity continued, a little more seriously now.
"Whether it's the curses, the Gods that exist on every continent, the corruption that no one knows about, and of course the Enemy approaching from the north, all of that needs a solution. I tried, and damn it, you saw it didn't work," the entity explained with some anger at the end.
"Did you see it didn't work? Hey, the damn books were never finished," I thought to myself before frowning.
"Wait, are you trying to say that what happens in the TV series is the result of your attempt?" I asked while trying to analyze the differences between the show and the books.
The Jon Targaryen of the series is a hero, that's clear. He has everything he needs to end the story on a high note, yet everything goes to hell... Because he's wrong, because he's human?"
Before I could finish my thoughts, the entity interrupted me with its answer.
-Yes, that was the attempt, but everything went wrong, I reviewed my mistake seeing that another version of me in the exoverse tried it, and I wasn't the only one, more tried it and they all lost due to similar mistakes, sending or making a character a hero in the world, that never worked— Said the entity with some anger in his tone.
"Does that mean my job isn't to do that, then? So why do you want another human in that world?" I asked with genuine curiosity about my role.
"Well, I'm not saying I want a human. Humans die quickly, none of them complete their tasks, they all die before they can finish. The only way I could think of was to create an empire, one that doesn't have a time limit to complete the tasks," the entity finished explaining, looking me straight in the eyes with a suspicious smile on its lips.
Wow, that was another shot from what I expected, something I didn't see coming.
"Wait, wait, I'm missing a few things here. Please be more concise about what you want. Tell me straight away, and why do you think I could do something like that. Create an empire? That's not something one person can do alone," I said, demanding from the entity, trying to get a better answer.
"That's what I'm getting at. You need to understand more about my situation, and why we're doing this," the entity began, looking at me calmly.
"Fine, I'll listen, so I know what to expect," I replied to the entity while imagining what this could be about.
"You see, a while ago, before me and all the other higher beings of the Exoverse, whom you could address as Gods if you wish, a window appeared, and in it was a message, somewhat long and boring, but promising fun," continued the entity I could now refer to as a God.
"In short, it said that through a system, I would connect many Gods of the Exoverse, allowing them to take champions to complete tasks, this with the goal of entertaining the Gods, and well, I'm not complaining, this life is somewhat boring," explained the nameless God for the moment, giving me a taste of the situation.
"Okay, so you're telling me the reason for this is to entertain you and other Gods?" I asked doubtfully, as this no longer seemed really fair to me.
"Don't put it like that, it makes me look bad. Rather, take it as your chance to have a good future. You help me in the tournament, and your life will be easier," the God replied, trying to downplay the situation.
"Wait, tournament? This sounds more interesting," I asked the God, not understanding what he meant. However, something inside me ignited when I heard about the possible competition.
"Oh yeah, I forgot. I usually focus on the beginning and the end, not much in between," the God began again. "You see, the champions will enter a ranking that will determine who is the best, whether by entertaining, fighting, taking advantage of their system, or something like that. In short, who is the best, and this benefits the champion and the God. That's why we're here," the entity continued, giving me more clarity about the situation.
"Now I'm supposed to compete against more people. Well, I can live with that. However, being the best? That's a challenge I can accept," I thought to myself as I looked at the calm smile of the God in front of me.
"Well, to make it clearer, each God is given a random system, and they must choose a champion who can work with the provided system and who also carries the values the God carries. That's why you're here. You meet the conditions, and we'll both be rewarded for this." The God finished explaining something truly revealing.
"Funny... the values the God carries? I don't care right now, but... rewards... I want them," I thought to myself as my mind worked to imagine everything I could accumulate. "It's always better to have too much than not enough," I thought to myself as I looked at the bigger picture.
"Well, I like that. However, before I continue, I'd like to know a couple of things," I said to the God, seeking a little more information.
"Go ahead, we understand each other better now. I suppose we can empathize more," the God replied, his smile widening slightly.
"Okay, first, what's your name?" I began the questions, but he interrupted me before continuing.
"Orion, my name is Orion," the God replied, still smiling, as he ran a hand over the back of his neck.
"Okay, a pleasure. And uh, could you tell me everything I need to know before you send me to ASOIAF?" I finished asking the now-called Orion.
"I was hoping you'd ask. I already had it in mind," the God replied as he raised a window in front of me with the following written on it:
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"The system will start up once you're in the world."
"You will arrive in the world not as a human, but as an entity. Not at my level, but it will function similarly."
"You will be able to generate an Avatar to complete missions and interact with the world."
"The system comes equipped with everything you need to create the empire. If you do it right, nothing should bring it down."
"The system will give you missions to ensure you can meet your objectives."
"Your reward will be to live in the empire you created, by the time the story begins."
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"That's a long fucking time to let me be free," was the first thing I said to Orion after finishing reading his information.
He looked me in the eyes and spoke directly and without hesitation. "It's necessary, you'll understand soon enough. Look at it this way. It takes 12,000 years to create and improve the kingdom you will rule," he said without a hint of hesitation.
"That makes all the fucking sense in the world," I thought after carefully considering what the God had said.
"Well, if you put it that way, I don't think I have any complaints. Although it still doesn't make sense, you want me to create an empire that will last forever. Everyone falls at some point, even the best. Everyone falls," I told him, completely confident in my argument; I had been through it myself.
"Oh boy, I know it's possible. The system is very complete. You'll achieve it. I believe it and I know you will. I trust you. I know you won't let me down," Orion replied this time with a smile on his face, seeing his play.
"Damn, that was fucking low... and brilliant," I thought as I finally understood what the cunning God in front of me wanted to achieve.
"This could go fucking wrong, you know? I'm going to put in the effort, but it could still go wrong," I asked, genuinely conflicted about whether this was really that simple, not entirely pessimistic.
"No, it's not. I'm not asking you to act like yourself today. I want you to achieve something for yourself, and you'll have someone to guide and help you. I know you'll achieve it, you've done it before," the entity finished as it put away the floating frames.
In front of me, only the frame of the map remained, which it reduced to show the full map once again.
"Fine, but just so you know, I might miss some things. Everything happens all the time in this world," I said as I stood up from my seat.
"I don't care. You won't be the only one doing the chores. You'll be able to multitask, remember?" he replied with a serene smile on his face.
"So, let's say no more. What's next?" I asked with a bit more optimism, eager to see what lay ahead in the thousands of years to come.
"So, where do you want to appear?" I mean, you have four continents at your disposal, each with its own unique fauna and history. Westeros is home to the Children of the Forest and the giants (the original races of this continent, who are often thought to be nothing more than mythological beings). In Essos, you have what is supposed to be the predecessor to the Golden Empire of Yi ti. In Ulthos, well, you don't know what happened there, and in Sothoryos, you only have spotted men and crazy, unexplored things," the God said with a hint of laughter in his voice, looking at me, already thinking something.
"This is practically cheating. The decision is completely logical. Westeros is a good place. Just respect the children of the forest and everything will be fine," I said, confident in my answer, facing Orion, who only widened his smile.
"Yes, except that when the First Men, the Andals, and the Rhoynar arrive, you won't be able to do anything against them," he said, looking at me, reminding me why most stories directed their paths toward Westeros.
"Okay, I didn't think it through. I just don't see how the others can be an option. Essos is the cradle of humanity, and therefore is crowded. Ulthos is completely unexplored, but it's certainly not as bad as Sothoryos," I replied to the being, who relaxed his smile and gave me a new option.
"Let's make it easy and get this over with. Take Sothoryos and I'll let you ruin the Andals and the Rhoynar a bit, them and their religion," Orion proposed, patiently waiting for my response.
"In some twisted way, it's the easiest and safest option. He can't destroy history before it even begins, and he's closer to the first missions," Orion thought, analyzing the situation from a semi-objective perspective, since he had more information.
Ignorant of God's thoughts, I only view the situation from my skewed knowledge.
"Fucking madman, he literally wants to throw me into a place ironically abandoned by God, just because he knows I hate those damn morons," I thought as I tried to understand God's actions and what the right option was.
"Greater difficulty means greater reward, right?" He threw me the final bait, knowing it was very difficult to refuse the benefits and the opinion of someone who obviously knew better.
"Fine, I'll take it, but only if you let me screw the faceless men and their religion." I added my counteroffer to the deal, trying to gain as much as possible.
I'm doing something crazy here, so at least I want to be free of the best assassins in the world. I don't want those terrifying shits near me, so if I have to live in the worst place to be in the known world, I'd rather do it with as few external threats as possible.
"You got it. I want to see what you do when you fight a minor God created by the collective consciousness," the God said with a smile on his face as he made everything he created appear.
"Give me a good enough show, and I'll make sure your story is fully adapted. I don't know if it's in books, comics, an animated series, or a live-action version. Just live, live up to my expectations. Beware of the awakening!" Orion finally added as a pure, incandescent light began to surround me.
"Beware of what?" I thought as I was completely blinded by the light for a few seconds.
An anticlimactic feeling ran through me, and I felt my body disassemble and reassemble in seconds.
"Guess we'll have to find out," I continued the thought as I opened my eyes and saw the landscape in front of me.
A beach appeared before me, and... I saw what looked like a Caragorg from Lord of the Rings approaching me with its jaws open.
"I'm screwed," I said before falling dead right where I'd arrived.
To be continued...
English is not my native language, if you would like to collaborate with the translation I would be very grateful.