Chapter 2 - Welcome to the Apocalypse
As the world spiraled into chaos, somewhere deep in the Amazon rainforest, a man lay unconscious inside a hut, blissfully unaware that Earth had just hit the cosmic "update now" button.
Roughly fifteen minutes after the Mutation was complete, the man's eyelids twitched. A faint rustle. Then, slowly but surely, Evan opened his eyes to the new world.
Hovering above his head like glowing phone notifications were holographic panels flashing urgent messages. A sci-fi lover's dream—except this one didn't need Wi-Fi.
"Am I... dreaming?" he muttered groggily.
The messages floated there, bright and alien, whispering tales of planetary mutation, cosmic trajectories, and systems that sounded way too organized for this mess. His arm shot up on instinct to touch the panels—only to pass right through them like smoke.
"Huh... this is just like those novels," Evan said, squinting. "Don't tell me I've transmigrated... while still on Earth?"
His gaze drifted to the right corner of the panel—there it was. A scroll bar.
Not bothering to figure out the physics of ghost-UI, he simply thought of scrolling, and like magic, the panel obeyed. Yup, totally a novel.
As he read more, his expression morphed from confusion to shock, and then to reluctant acceptance—the three stages of cosmic nonsense. But before he could fully process anything, a new blue panel popped up beside the golden one.
---
[ Validating User ]
[ Validation Successful! ]
[ System Binding Complete! ]
[ Providing Basic Equipment ]
[ You may now access your Status Window by saying or thinking 'Status' ]
---
"Oh no," Evan whispered, half-excited, half-terrified. "It really is one of those situations."
He thought 'Status,' and—bam!—another panel appeared in front of his eyes:
---
[ Status ]
Name: Evan
Level: 0
Exp: 0/10 (0%)
Race: Human
Class: None
Titles: None
Health: 95/100
Energy: 90/90
Stamina: 120/120
Hunger: 40/100
Fatigue: 0/100
Strength: 7
Agility: 6
Vitality: 5
Defense: 5
Spirit: 3
Allotable Points: 0
Skills: None
---
"Oh, it actually worked."
But just as he began appreciating his RPG stats, a bloodcurdling scream rang out, close—too close.
Evan froze. A chill danced down his spine. The blue panels minimized on their own, revealing the dimly lit hut interior. Light trickled through cracks in the thatched walls. A lone spear rested beside the entrance.
It hit him—he had no clue where he was. But judging from the humidity and greenery poking through the walls, he was definitely still in the Amazon. That was the least comforting fact of the day.
Outside, the groans and agonized shrieks of humans continued. He didn't dare move. Even a breath felt too loud.
Finally, the screams died down. Evan's nerves were shot, but curiosity got the better of him. He stood slowly, making sure not to make a sound, and tiptoed toward the door.
Peeking through the small gap, his jaw dropped.
A monstrous rabbit—a dog-sized rabbit with blood-red eyes—was munching on what was very clearly a human body.
"Oh hell no," he whispered, backing up in horror.
Unfortunately, fate decided that was the perfect moment for slapstick. His foot bumped into the spear behind him, and down he went with a thump.
His heart almost burst from his chest as he looked up—yep. The creature had heard him.
It turned.
It growled.
It charged.
"...I'm so dead."
In full panic, Evan's hand flailed and grabbed the only weapon in sight—the same spear he'd just tripped on. Pure instinct took over. As the creature neared, he shut his eyes and jabbed forward.
A sudden jolt ran through him—the spear struck something solid.
When he peeked through one eye, the monster was right in front of him, blood dripping from its neck. The spear had gone clean through.
Its glowing red eyes locked with his one last time before it collapsed.
For a moment, Evan sat frozen in place.
Then, like any sane person, he screamed internally and flung the blood-soaked spear as far from himself as possible.
---
[ You have killed a Razorlop (Level 1) ]
[ +10 EXP ]
[ Level Up! ]
[ All Attributes +1 ]
[ Allotable Points +2 ]
---
A soft, white glow wrapped around him, seeping into his skin. In an instant, the terror gave way to warmth, like sipping hot chocolate after surviving a horror movie.
"…I can't believe that worked."
He wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry, or just pass out again.
But one thing was certain—this wasn't a dream.
This was real.
And he had just entered Earth's weirdest patch update ever.