ARIEL
Year 2024
"Three ! Two ! One !"
BOOM
The firework goes off. The usual dark sky were decorated by the blinking stars and the moon, tonight is special hence the exaggerated fireworks that is blowing on the sky. Beautiful. Joyful. Exciting. Yet chaotic, at least to me. My eyes glued to the sky as the fireworks still goes on, slowly i lowered my gaze and wandering around me. There are bunches of people, strangers, that i do not know the story of their lives, people that i saw smiling, laughing, sulking, arguing, crying. So many things happened in this amusement park.
How did i ended up here ?
"Ari !"
Ah. Right.
I watch as the only person i know in this place full of strangers run towards me, holding a camera in her hand with a full blown smile and her curly ginger hair bouncing as she runs. How i wish i could smile like that.
"God, i missed it !? The fireworks !" I let out a small chuckle as i see the look of frustration and annoyance on her sweating face, my one and only friend, no, best friend, Reyla Ashlyn. The friend i have known since highschool. Highschool, highschool .. highschool. They said highschool is the time where we will experience love and the time we will have fun the most before stepping into adulthood. I disagree. I-
"Hey !"
A flick of Reyla's fingers in front of my face bring me back to reality. I turned my head and raised my eyebrows before smiling at her.
"Daydreaming again, miss Ambrose ?" She said with that tone of voice that makes me chuckled one more time. I can see her expression turning back to annoyance as she looked up at the sky as the fireworks stopped. Reyla, who dragged me forcefully out of my comfort zone-bedroom, to this lousy place people called amusement park, just to witness the New Year's Eve with fireworks. Yet, she missed it.
"Stop frowning, i told you to use your phone if you want to take pictures, and you chose go back to your apartment for a camera ?" I spoke with a small laugh while Reyla is already catching her breath. "I wanted to capture the moment with a better quality ! Camera is better than phone if you want a better pictures !" I shake my head hearing her reasons.
The people around us already busy taking pictures, some with their couple, some with family, some with friends, well i have none of that. Except a friend and i am grateful for that although Reyla can be too much of a sunshine sometimes. Remind me of him.
"Come on ! At least let's take some good pictures. God knows when you will go out again except for work and college." Reyla spoke and once again dragging me once again to the center of the amusement park.
If it was another day, if i was alone here, i would have a panic attack seeing the bunches of strangers around me.
Thank god, Reyla is here.
Click
Click
Reyla took our pictures together, i took her pictures several times as she poses like the model she is, a true model indeed. She choose the right major.
As i clicked the camera one last time capturing Reyla's smile, my eyes glued to the Merry-Go-Round behind her. It is on and going round and round. Before i realize it, i am zoning out again until Reyla tapped my arm.
"Here you go, miss model." I teased her as i handed back her camera and rubbed my palms together feeling the cold despite the thick coat i am wearing. After all it is still winter season.
"You should take some pictures too, i won't let my bestfriend missing out this New Year's Eve without a single picture is taken !"
"No, I-"
"No buts, Ariel Ambrose ! Now go stand near that Merry-Go-Round and do me some genuine sweet beautiful smile you got."
I give up before Reyla could start scolding me again like a mother figure. A sighed escaped my lips as i walked towards the Merry-Go-Round and turned around seeing Reyla already holding the camera up with a smile.
"Smile ! It's new year, Ariel !"
I can only roll my eyes in slight playful way hearing her words. New year or no, isn't it just the same ? Only the number adds up anyway. Why do people make such a big fuss over it.
As Reyla started counting three, two, one, i force out a smile out of my lips, trying to make it look happy and free like how Reyla want it to be.
Click
"Beautiful !"
Reyla exclaimed with a smile and run towards me again, she showed me the picture. All i can see is a shell continuing her life as a routine. But surely, Reyla thinks differently, at least try to make me think differently.
Noticing my growing solemn expression, Reyla must be smiling softly,
"It's 2024, Ariel. The past cannot be changed. Forgive it, forgive yourself, stop drowning yourself with it. Please, i would love to see you happy and free again .. like in the past. Like when you were with him."
I hate this.
"Mhm, i will eventually."
___
3 a.m
It is been an hour after i got back home from that amusement park. And it is also has been one hour since i laid on my bed silently, staring at the ceiling without even moving an inch. The faint sound of fireworks can still be heard out of my bedroom window.
How exciting
I envy those who can celebrate this day so happily, so freely. I must be one of those dumb people who got stuck in the same place, in the same time without changes.
Suddenly the image of Merry-Go-Round in that amusement park i just visited with Reyla an hour ago, comes to my mind. The image of it playing and going round and round.
My life must be like that.
Round and round, meeting the same end without ending.
In the same loop without improvising. No wonder Reyla has been scolding me about it.
A sigh escaped my lips as i slowly closed my eyes and instantly memories playing inside my mind like a movie. It keeps happening each time i close my eyes, maybe that is why i rarely sleep, forming a slight dark circles around my eyes.
Am i running away from it ?
Flashback
"Stop running ! Slow down, wait, Ari !"
The deep voice from behind me didn't stop me from continuing my pace as i run. Laughters can be heard in the air. So joyful. Sounding so happy. The sound of the beach waves mixed with the sound of our laughters. This little chase and run session has been going on for five minutes.
"Wait ! Wait ! I give up ! Oh gosh, you are a good runner ..."
I stopped and turned around finding him bending over as he tries to catch his breath. The orange-ish colour of the sky matched him a lot. Warm and mesmerizing. That is how he is.
Sunset. His favourite.
A giggle escaped my lips quietly as i slowly walked closer to him.
"You ok-"
"Got you !"
Before i could finish my sentence, he already grabbed my wrist, pulling me in, bumping my body over his chest. My heart instantly skipped a beat.
I shouldn't feel like this.
I shouldn't at all.
"Now you can't run anymore. I got you and you will stay in my arms like this forever, Ariel Ambrose."
I shouldn-
God. I didn't dare to look up at that handsome face at all. Until his hand gently touched my chin and lifted it up, my eyes meet his. Those eyes. Mesmerizing as ocean. My favourite shade of blue.
"I .. i .."
"Cats got your tongue, love ?"
A soft chuckle escaped that lips as i can only stare at his eyes, his gaze so warm, as if it is protecting me over everything and everyone including my own parents. I can feel heat rushing to my cheeks. Not wanting to be too close to this man, i separated myself from him instantly and creating a gap between us.
"Certainly not. You lose, loser grant the winner's wish."
I spoke in flat tone despite my heart has been thumping in faster pace, somehow i avoid his gaze. A soft laugh filled the air of the beach. Loving as usual. As i looked down, his shadow looming over me.
"But isn't it my birthday today ?"
I stepped back
"A deal is a deal."
He stepped closer.
I give up.
"Anything for you, my love."
~~~
I opened my eyes. Strange. Empty. The usual feelings i would get whenever i open my eyes from a deep slumber.
Wet.
A frown formed on my face as i raised my hand and touch my eyes, it is wet.
Am i crying ?
I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I have no rights to cry over such dream.
Realizing i have fell asleep after staring too much at the ceiling of my bedroom, i sighed. With the support of my elbows, i sit up from my bed, checking the time from my phone as it shows 5 a.m in the morning. Two hours for a short dream ? A chuckle escaped my lips. I do not know if i want to keep dreaming of that or no.
Getting up from bed, i looked around my bedroom, it has been silent as i noticed no more fireworks outside. Wandering around, i look into the mirror, staring at my own reflection.
Black hair, brown eyes.
Dull and plain, as people call me that. I guess that is right. Unlike Reyla who has enticing ginger hair and beautiful emerald eyes or those with blue eyes.
Suddenly the dream- the memory i just dreamed of from my little nap, come back to my mind. With a small steps, i walked towards the drawer near my bed, kneeling and sit on the floor as i take out a box.
Should i ?
Hesitating, with slight trembling hands that even i don't know, i reached out and opened the cream-coloured box that look quite old. My breath stopped when i meet what is inside, no matter how many times i open this box, which i rarely do, this annoying stuffy feelings in my heart always comes back harder.
It doesn't belong to me.
What expression am i making right now ?
My eyes glued to the photo inside the box. My hand instictively picks it up, a breath stucked in my throat.
Blonde hair.
Blue eyes.
That smile.
I should stop before i go to far yet my eyes still glued to the photo in my hands. He looked extremely handsome in that photo. Standing near the beach, the sun setting behind him as i took the picture.
His smile is ravishing.
Was ravishing.
I missed it.
I missed him.
Am i ?
Am i not ?
Ah. I should stop spending too much time on my phone. My eyesight got blurry again. It took me a short while to notice it is not the phone, a drop of water fell on the picture. It was my own tears.
My eyes fell on the handwriting under the photo.
'12-05-22'
'Happy birthday !'
'Elion Wright'