I do not remember much from mu childhood, for better or for worse. What I do remember, however, is my family.
My mother wanted me to be a kind boy. She's a great woman, and one on whom I wish all the happiness of the world. She's a housewife, still a common profession for women when I was a child. Truth be told, I regret how I have behaved with her, but whenever I try to fix my actions, the results are usually the opposite.
My mother managed the household on my own. This included a middle-sized (but crowded) apartment building and two children. She used to place me in front of the television, which would keep me busy, whilst she dealt with other chores. This may seem somewhat negligent, but don't be mistaken, even when working, her whole attention was always on me.
My father is my hero, is what I could say. But the truth is, he's the main character of a tragedy. Forced to stay away from his family to provide for them, unable to connect with his family because he's away from them. All the hardworking he's doing, all the money he's earning, all of it being wasted to foster me, an incompetent brat. I wish for him to sit atop all the treasures of this world, knowing full well that he deserves even more than that.
He is troubled with his own problems, I know that full well. But just like with my mother, despite me wishing to be kind and loving to him, I could never really make out the words to convey my true feelings. I hope I could be a better son to him in the future. A kinder son, hopefully.
My older sister is perhaps the one with whom I have the most complicated relationship with. Her personality is much different to mine own. She grew up when my family was still not as settled and stable. I was born after they achieved a better life. She's wise in things I never knew whilst being dumb in things that seem simple to me. I truly get annoyed by her actions and feel annoyed by her talking, and at the same time, I thoroughly love her, and the first time I cried was related her, but that's a story for another time.
My sister is hardworking and smart, and I am sure that she will be successful. I can't wait until she reaches a high position and begins making large amount of money, partly because I want her to move out of the house so I can take over the room. But, whenever I think deeply about her, my past actions do come back to me, and that just clarifies that perhaps I am the one who is breaking apart this family.
This chapter was perhaps nothing that notable. But even this makes me sad, not because I remember the past, but because I remembered myself in them.
The next chapters will definitely be more personal.