"Zhu'er? Is that you in the bathroom? What's going on?"
Ms. Liang had just returned from grocery shopping when she heard a noise from the bathroom. She rushed over in concern.
Before she could enter, a panicked voice from inside tried to explain.
"Auntie! It's me, Doug—uh—Zhu-jie is here, I mean, uh—shhh!"
Doug Feng was pale with anxiety. He quickly whispered to Liang Yanzhu, "Zhu-jie, I swear I was just dropping off some chicken soup! No one answered, so I figured I'd just—uh—use the bathroom real quick, and then—this happened."
"Shut up! My mom's about to come in! What do you think it looks like with you here? Quick—hide!"
Doug's face contorted in helplessness. "But Zhu-jie, where the hell am I supposed to hide?! This bathroom's the size of a shoebox!"
With the space barely enough for one person—let alone two—and most of it taken up by a large wooden soaking tub, there weren't exactly many options.
Yanzhu's eyes darted nervously as her mother's footsteps drew closer. Then she gritted her teeth and pointed at the steaming bathwater. "Get in here—with me."
Doug's eyes widened like dinner plates. He stared at the water where only the top of Yanzhu's head poked out.
"Hurry up, you little perv! Close your eyes! No peeking, no touching!" she hissed, cheeks flushed crimson.
Doug, already soaked in guilt and nerves, dared not argue. He shut his eyes tightly and leapt into the tub, clothes and all, splashing hot water everywhere.
Riiip.
Yanzhu yanked the shower curtain closed just in time as the bathroom door creaked open and her mother stepped inside.
"Zhu'er, what's going on? I thought I heard you scream."
"Nothing! Nothing, Mom! I just… saw a cockroach while I was bathing. It ran off already."
As she spoke, she subtly shifted her position to hide Doug's outline behind the curtain, shoving him deeper into the water while praying her mother wouldn't notice the extra set of limbs underwater.
Doug, on the other hand, was trying very hard not to enjoy himself. His eyes were closed, sure, but the soft scent of shampoo and the warmth of the water… he was keenly aware of every inch between them—or rather, the lack of it.
He tried not to move, but staying frozen in a cramped tub while squished against a wet, very much alive woman was… challenging.
He twitched.
"Stop moving!" Yanzhu hissed in his ear.
"I'm trying!" Doug whimpered, eyes still clenched shut.
"Don't talk. Don't open your eyes!" she snapped, then quickly clamped one hand over his eyes and the other over his mouth.
That, of course, brought her even closer. Their bodies pressed together in a way Doug was certain could only be described in very mature-rated literature.
"Why's your bath taking so long, Zhu'er?" her mother asked from the other side of the curtain. "I came back from the market ages ago. Since you're on night shifts this week, I thought I'd make you some tonic soup. Let me just use the toilet real quick while you finish up."
"No—Mom, wait!" Yanzhu shot up in alarm. Doug was still submerged!
"What's the matter with you? I just need to pee! Are you hiding the Emperor in there or something?"
Without waiting for permission, Ms. Liang began her business. Doug, still under the water, heard every humiliating drip drip of the ordeal.
Yanzhu, mortified beyond belief, slapped her hands over Doug's ears to spare him—but now his mouth and eyes were free. And naturally, Doug did what any man in his unwise position would do: he peeked.
Just a crack. Just a little slit through one barely-opened eyelid.
The steam turned everything dreamy and surreal, but through the haze, the proximity, the scent, the curves beneath soaked fabric… it was almost too much for a mortal heart to bear.
Yanzhu, sensing his heartbeat quicken, tried to back away—only to splash the water.
"What was that?" Ms. Liang turned around, suspicious.
"Nothing! I, uh, I just stood up too fast. Slipped a bit!"
Before her mother could approach, Yanzhu shoved Doug under the water, straightened up to block the view, and greeted her mom with the fakest of smiles.
Ms. Liang's eyes narrowed slightly. "My, my… Look at you. All grown up. I suppose it's time your mom starts thinking about your future, huh?"
Yanzhu's heart raced faster than Doug's. "Mom—please! Can we not do this right now?! I need to get dressed!"
"Oh please. It's not like I've never seen you naked. But fine. I'll let you get dressed. Just don't think I'm letting this go, Zhu'er. I'm serious. Look at Aunt Li's daughter—she's gone through three boyfriends already this year! You're not getting any younger, and this house could use a man around. Even your dad would've wanted that—"
"Okay! Fine! You want a man, Mom? Next time I'll bring all the single male doctors from my hospital for you to choose from. Happy now?!"
Ms. Liang laughed as she finally stepped out. "Oh, Zhu'er. You're such a drama queen. You've got so many suitors, and yet here I am, still waiting to meet one. Just don't wait too long, honey."
Once she left, Yanzhu exhaled like she'd survived a warzone. She turned and pulled Doug up out of the water. The poor guy gasped for air like a drowning puppy.
"You little brat!" She grabbed a bathrobe and wrapped it tightly around herself before jabbing a finger at Doug's forehead. "You didn't see anything. You didn't hear anything. And if you so much as think about this moment again, I'll kill you!"
Doug tried to explain himself, spluttering, "Zhu-jie, I swear I didn't mean to! I just came to deliver chicken soup and take a quick leak. I called out a bunch of times, but you didn't answer!"
His tone was apologetic, but his eyes… well, they kept drifting downward.
"Eyes. Up here," she growled, tightening her robe.
Doug immediately straightened up. "Yes ma'am!"
But deep inside, his heart was thumping like a war drum. For a guy who had lived two lifetimes, Doug Feng had never imagined this would be the moment that made his soul leave his body.
Little did he know, that absurd bath-time disaster would be the beginning of a much more complicated entanglement…