Rather than try to maintain a life spent walking on eggshells, watching others' moods, it was better to let everything go and start from the bottom.
When I decided to leave it all behind, I struggled quite a bit.
That grief came from the original me — the one that was still part of who I am.
"Are you giving up?"
"Are you really okay with not being acknowledged by your family?"
"Even if you can't redeem your mother's disgrace?"
As someone who has mentally updated himself to a modern version, I couldn't relate to that kind of sentiment anymore.
Family? Why are they my family?
Blood ties automatically mean family? That's such an outdated trend. In today's world, especially in our field, it's interpreted differently.
And my mother's disgrace? What disgrace?
The disgrace lies with the bastard who couldn't keep it in his pants and ruined a girl's life — not her.
The more I thought about it, the less reason I had to cling to this place, begging for love or approval.
After that realization, my resolve to walk away became even firmer.
Also, it's not like I'm starting completely from the bottom — after all, I am a noble's illegitimate child.
Even a school dog learns a verse or two in three years. And this illegitimate child? I spent over a decade in a prestigious noble household.
Sure, I wasn't loved enough to get a formal education, but I still learned a lot just by observing.
Magic?
The very fact that I've awakened to memories of my past life makes me more magical than any spell.
Swordsmanship?
The wise once said, "The pen is mightier than the sword."
I can read and write decently. If that's not swordsmanship, what is?
Look down on illegitimate children?
Try birthing one yourself — I'll show you how it's done. A beaten dog knows best where the pain hits.
If illegitimate children had grades, I'd be a high-class B-rank at least.
With that pride and confidence, I continue to show up here every day.
To the Hayeren City Library—
—or rather, to the annex located far away from the main building.
The annex pass was much easier to obtain than the main library's, so people like me usually came here.
By "people like me," I don't mean other illegitimate children. I mean passionate scholars who pursue knowledge even in tough conditions.
"…"
The elderly librarian at the desk glanced at me, then returned to his work.
Despite appearances, he's actually quite kind. If I say I'm looking for a book, he brings it to me without complaint.
I don't mind that he treats other members of the Vendel family with more formal courtesy. True friendship isn't bound by social status.
I slipped into the forest of bookshelves.
"Let's see…"
The books stored in the annex were deemed inappropriate for the main collection.
Usually due to poor quality or subject matter.
They also included books about so-called "trivial" knowledge.
I took an interest in that "trivial" knowledge — flipping the idea on its head.
The key to survival is finding a blue ocean.
If I master knowledge no one else cares about, perhaps one day it will shine.
Like another Bitcoin miracle?
With that speculative thought, I headed for the farthest corner of the library.
Sunlight filtering through the windows gave form to the dust — it felt like a magical space.
I've never seen anyone else here.
Even the librarians barely bother to manage it.
Shouldn't they love all books equally?
"?"
But today, there was someone.
Silver hair — quite rare.
Chocolate-colored skin — even rarer.
And—
'Pointy ears?'
An elf.
No — a dark elf.
The tall woman, probably around 5'10", was unmistakably a dark elf.
I felt an instinctive discomfort.
It happens sometimes.
A clash between instinct — or perhaps prejudice — and rational thought.
I always suppress it with reason.
This time, it was easy.
Because my rational curiosity far outweighed the instinctive discomfort.
A dark elf.
That dark elf.
The first non-human race I had seen since coming to this fantasy world.
I wanted to fan-boy . Ask for an autograph.
But I resisted. She was clearly reading — not the time to interrupt.
Step. Step.
I carefully walked past the dark elf to reach the book I'd marked yesterday.
Where was it…?
Ah, here.
"The Being Called a Cat"
Honestly, this book had little to do with any blue ocean strategy.
I was just curious.
In a book I read once, cats were described in a very unusual way.
It said cats were spiritual beings — and even evil monsters.
Spiritual being, maybe. But monsters?
What could a cat have possibly done — or be capable of?
Not all reading has to be for profit. Sometimes you just have to breathe.
I sat by the window at my usual spot and opened the book.
About thirty minutes into reading—
"?"
The dark elf walked right up to me.
She leaned sideways.
To match the book's eye level, apparently.
"'The Being Called a Cat'? Didn't know there was a book like this."
She wasn't talking to me.
Just muttering to herself — so clearly and naturally I could understand every word.
Then she sat right next to me.
Poked her head in to peek at my book.
Blink. She turned and stared straight into my eyes.
Um. What are you doing?
I stared back at her, silently asking.
At that moment—
"…!"
She jumped up, startled.
Like a cat — sprang up and back.
And then said:
"Can… you see me?"
Uh, I'm an illegitimate child, not blind.
What a weirdo.
I ignored her and returned to my book.
"…?"
She tilted her head.
"Was it my imagination?"
Plop.
She sat next to me again.
I read the book. She read me.
This was an uncomfortable reading session.
What is even happening.
Go away.
Soon, she lost interest in the book.
And directed all of her attention to me.
"How strange."
Her long fingers danced around my face.
She played with my hair. Tapped my cheek. Rubbed my skin.
She's a mysterious dark elf.
And she's so beautiful I had to control my eyes to not stare.
Considering all that, I should feel flustered.
But I was surprisingly calm.
There was something in her gestures…
Like someone observing an animal.
Like a breeder evaluating a horse's bloodline, perhaps.
"Porcelain skin. Shiny hair. And these blue eyes — you must be a noble, right?"
A voice came from the book hanging on her waist.
"A noble reading a book like this? My, my. Could it be they actually appreciate cats?"
How awful! How could you say that?
"…"
With no good rebuttal, she just moved her hands in irritation.
But seriously, this was awkward.
Her silver hair fell like a waterfall. A translucent, purple robe that gave away nothing.
Eyes like molten mercury.
She was the very picture of mystique.
But judging by her behavior—
'Is she nuts?'
The way she acted as if she were invisible didn't leave much room for other interpretations.
'So… what now?'
She didn't seem like she planned to leave.
Her eyes bore into mine — like she meant to drill a hole through my face.
It was decision time.
Should I say something?
Or pretend I don't notice?
"…Excuse me—"
Yeah, it's the former.
She needs to know her invisibility game failed.
Before she makes a bigger mistake than just evaluating an illegitimate child.
"I can see you."
"Huh? You can? See what? See what?!"
Her eyes sparkled as she shoved her face into the book.
"What do you mean, see what…"
Tap tap.
I gently touched her forearm with my finger.
"You. I can see you."
"Eeep!"
She jumped up in fright.
Clasped her hands to her chest like a kitten with no place to run.
──────────
[You Resisted]
[Resisted Effect: Cognitive Impairment]
──────────
──────────
▶ Another Tale ◀
This is a different story.
──────────
[The Great Hero, Ladola Vendel]
[Hayeren was her hometown — and the city her descendants settled in.]
[Knights from across the continent visited Hayeren to gain wisdom.]
[Under the Vendel name, Hayeren thrived — a glory that seemed eternal.]
[Until her arrival changed everything.]
[The Black Witch of the Western Forest]
[The grand Vendel estate, once rich in history, was reduced to ruins.]
[Clatter] [Clatter]
[In the former lord's study, a black cat batted around a heavy sphere.]
[Once a great vessel for a knight's soul — now just the bleached skull of House Vendel's head.]
[The Black Witch picked up the cat and cradled it.]
[She stroked it lazily and looked out over Hayeren through a crumbling wall.]
[It resembled an ancient city forgotten by history.]
[Vines bursting through the earth had covered everything.]
[Even the people.]
[They wandered the streets, lost.]
[In place of heads, giant fruits mimicking human faces bloomed.]
[Ka-ka-kak—Ka-ka-kak—Ka-ka-kak—]
[Thorned vines climbing through vocal cords echoed across the city.]
[The Nameless City of the Western Continent]
[Now known as the Black Witch's Garden.]
▶ Destiny 5: The Promised Price