PART TWO: DELVE WE WILL
Thoughts we fear
Seeking only a higher power to stave our decisions
Keep me close
For I may not see the next day with waking eyes
ZERO: THE LOST ONES
Shrouded in self doubt and remembrance
These horrid memories of my past antics
True or false still a mystery to me
Okay. So maybe that sentence at the start of it all was a lie, or maybe not? Patron saint definition was definitely looking hazy and muddled after these lost memories were brought back to attention.
Safe to say I can't properly rely on jaded memory to fully understand what just happened. Double edged sword indeed when it comes to alcohol.
It giveth Courage, it takes away everything else.
Friday, 12PM
I never had the strength nor courage to ask any of the questions that met my mind during the week, but besides that it went par for the course when it comes to my lifestyle.
Keeping my eyes peeled on the group chat was still new to me however, never really being so tightly knit on a bunch of people like this before.
The usual statements I'd studied prior were apparent over the days. Hyping up our next session together, some witty remarks and quips, a few tasteful memes dashed in for flavour, typical teenage banter.
Fuck.
It's settling in again.
God damn my brai-
YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN JUST LEAVE ME?
…
…WELL?
…
you bore me
Well our tedious relationship stutters from here to there, guess I'll take that win for now.
It begs the question however.
Do you know more than I do?
Why do you keep me in th-
Saturday, 7PM
I had brought my usual belongings with me, having stopped once again to buy the appropriate liquids to sedate myself accordingly.
Enough for her to see me once again.
"Which one?"
Shit.
…Let's try both tonight darling…
"... Robin?"
Rebecca leaned on my shoulder as she looked into my eyes. Rose, being subtle with her glances, having our occasional eye lock whilst I was with this pure perfection of a human being.
'Which one?'
God damn it.
"...Yeah I'm aight. You good?"
"Yeah sure, just checking"
Her eyes and expression widened slightly as I saw her face against my body, a slight smile on her face as she took another toke from the cigarette in her hand.
Beckoned be thy mistress of my misfortune at this time of the night.
Oh, right.
So our night came around during the latter half of the workday week. Tye suggested we head back to our usual sinful surroundings of the beach, most of us agreed to do so, so that's where we'd meet.
All exchanges glanced, cheers and whatnot. And now here we are.
Drinking, smoking the night away. As per usual at this point.
…
"Robin? You think I should try it with this girl?"
David, having been more half cut than the last time we had hung out, sooner nonetheless, asking me as he sat shirtless, dancing around
like the usual drunkard would, darting back and forth through conscious thought and unconscious mind.
"...Well yeah. If you guys are good together, go for it!"
As my drunken demeanor tried desperately to sound encouraging, moon twighlighting in its ever embracing beauty, keeping my everlong questions within.
"...Fuck it! You're right Robin! I'm gonna tell her!"
"Good shit man! Sure she'll be the right one this time"
Tye interjected with his usual demeanor as he waltzed into the fray, sipping on his bottle of cheap wine, something I noticed was different from his natural selection of Corona bottles and whiskeys, maybe a change of heart through my end made him reconsider.
"Fucking slut"
Eyes shifting to a conversation Rebecca and Rose were having adjacent to ours, turned somewhat violent as I just noticed their conversation taking place.
"Well then fuck you too, why can't I? You don't like him! Clearly you're a fucking liar!"
Rose shouting those words as Rebecca stormed off from her sitting position.
"YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK! WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU BITCH? FUCK OFF"
Who? Was it me?
"Fucking slut"
Rose said under her breath as she walked toward the rest of us, Rebecca still storming away from the group.
"...You good Robin? Drink with me!"
Rose said as she collapsed down onto me, her black skirt and blue T-shirt loosely keeping her skin from reaching mine as she giggled, bottle of cheap bourbon in hand. Her beautiful demeanor wanted to be taken here and now.
But none could be taken, I couldn't give in. Not after what I had supposedly become, god no.
You sure?
…This couldn't be about me right?
No
"Hah… I'll go chat with her"
Tye, sitting up from the sand, cigarette in hand, stature stiff, as if a Greek god about to speak wisdom to his disciples, if that god was high from both alcohol and other substances sure.
I wonder what that pep talk would be like…?
Watching him walk in the path of Rebecca, Rose still firmly planted on my body as she wriggled around, finding the most comfortable position upon my body.
"...Hey… Let's fuck"
As she lay down on my lap, head tilted toward mine, puppy dog-esque eyes staring into mine, as if to say… No, begging me for it.
"...Uhm Rose? I'm kinda here right now?"
David, crimson red face as he sat next to us, no doubt confused as to the how and why she said that.
Fair enough, something akin to a casual NTR hentai was about to be spilled onto this sand, his mind probably racing in more ways than one at that prospect.
Fuck them all
Fuck her
…WOW….
YOU REALLY HAVE NO BORDERS DO YOU?
Oh I wish you wouldn't
AND I WISH YOU'D FUCK OFF
He clearly wants this
BUT HE WON'T LAST
…So?
…hmph…
…So it's treason then?
"Hey David, you can join if ya want!"
Caressing my head with her hands, sand cemented on both as she felt rough and coarse on my head.
"...Wh…No! Why would I?!"
All to the wayside.
___________