Narcissism: the belief that you're better than everyone else.
I don't show it, but I'm highly narcissistic. So much so that I actually get depressed when others outshine me. I look up and wonder—why should anyone be better than me?
I hate not being the best.
I'm hungry for it—starving, even—to be better than everyone else. To be more important. And, frankly, deep down, I believe I am.
In my heart, no one feels like an equal. I imagine myself sitting on a throne, looking down at the world like it's my kingdom.
I know that sounds weird. That's why I never say it out loud.
Instead, I smile. I play the part, making everyone think I'm great.
But in the end, being self-absorbed is often just a defense mechanism—a way to cope with the belief that no one else will care. So you do it yourself. You care for yourself so much it tips into narcissism.
And maybe, just maybe, you are that extraordinary. Who knows?