ALLIE
I sit at the desk at my job my eyes in a daze, the lights are all dim as the automatic system operates that way. I feel heavily crazed by the computer screen; the only brightness in this room which at now I am staring at. My jaw drops at a weird text on the computer.
anonymous1765: your husband is cheating on you
anonymous1765: I have proof
I am stunned then to find a trail of images sent to my work computer. My heart is still for a second then i sigh and regain composure. I knew he was awful and somehow in back of my mind I had suspected that he's been cheating on me. I scroll down despite the initial capture of him kissing another woman I had wanted to see this to see and believe all of this; these pictures are poking at the last bits of my sanity and oh my god they just kept getting worse... the next picture captured a lady in useless black lingerie that covered nothing of her body; bile forming at my throat as the picture describes the image of my naked husband as he sticks his manhood into the said woman's body. I have never been more disgusted at the sight of my husbands body; my hands start to tremble but i find courage to scroll through all the pictures that consisted of everyone more obscene and viler than the previous and each with different women. My heart is palpitating; I don't love my husband it has been years since I had realised that, we had come to some sort of unsaid compromise that love wouldn't matter as long as I take care of his parents who are a pain in the ass if I'm being honest. This situation has unlocked a new fear within me... How many diseases? oh god this could mean I could.. I get shivers in my body disgust as i rush to the rest room and throw up.
I was planning on staying overnight at my office and finishing some of the leftover work now my whole body is scratching thinking what kind of disease this man must have infected me with. I had let him have sex with me last week only because he might be crazy enough to hit me again and now that holds me on choke-hold as I viscously rub my skin with water and a cleaning liquid till it's all red.
I took out my phone and logged into a website i have been frequenting to wear off the stress; i dive into the world of novels and read anything I find to get my skin out of this gutter it had fallen into; I find myself scrolling and scrolling and scrolling till my eyes are numb and I start crying as I read an extremely poorly written billionaire romance, this is probably the first time I shed tears throughout my six years of marriage and it was going to be the last; I will confront him and apply for a divorce the pictures should be enough proof and I am going to get tested to prove to myself that whatever I imagine will not come true. I WILL GET THROUGH THIS and for now i just drown in the world of fiction.
Morning comes sooner than i expect it, I am greeted with the unnecessary sunlight slipping through the strips of curtain on the windows. It's 7am and i probably had 3 hours of sleep but despite my depravity of sleep the world feels a little bit better than yesterday; like last night's horrors were a few years ago; this change of heart gives me more strength to move forward from this and emerge into a new life!
I wonder if I had been way too enthusiastic in the morning as the weight of my heavy eyes is burdening my view as I pick up my stuff to head home having confrontation on my mind... if you think about the little amount of money i have from this job would probably be entirely spent on a good lawyer but maybe I can get alimony; one of the things i regret most in this life is that i didn't get a job till end of last year; been financially alone in this world had frightened me quite a lot but now i can finally step forward to the next step without thinking about the past.
I have all these thoughts lingering in my head as i step to the road and a large truck comes my way when I am in the middle of the road...
Really? what a dumb way to die! This is so novel-coded I can't even begin to laugh. Are these the repercussions of reading too much? well what do people usually think of when they die like this? Sweet revenge? second chance at life? I am way too tired to deal with this maybe just maybe, I actually desire death and here it is so close.
soft too soft a bed that is too soft to be mine; a full night of sleep that I had never expected, Is this what death feels like or is this heaven? I don't open my eyes as i speculate the likelihood of me being in a coma and dreaming or rather hallucinating all of this... either way is not too bad.
I bolt my eyes half open as I feel a muscular arm around me i almost snicker at the sight; I am definitely in a coma and I read far too many novels. as the said arms tighten around me I fall back to sleep whatever it is poking at my last bit of sanity can wait. I probably have years of sleep to catch up on.
I drown in whatever vague comfort that this absolutely obnoxious scenario has offered me, I am in a state of half asleep for about two hours till my brain automatically wakes me up to the sunlight surrounding me; my eyes slightly open and I was right I am in a hospital room, not in coma I'm guessing from the way there are no machines connected to my body; oddly this is extremely luxurious for a hospital room rather it looks more like a hotel. I am in a slump and I close my eyes again... fuck I am so tired.